A man does not provide: should he do this?
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Psychologists will answer this question unequivocally: it’s worth it. This is the biological function of man as a species, assigned to him by nature itself. Yes, and in many religions men and women are given a dominant role — a function of his unrelenting inspiration. But each statement and concept has its own nuances. And what men don“t provide is understood differently in different countries, among different people, and even in some families.
- What does it mean to provide?
- What does social theory say?
- And what does modern practice show?
- When things really go wrong
What does „provide“ mean?
First, let“s look at what exactly men should (or shouldn“t) provide.
If we are talking about a relationship between a couple who does not live together and does not have children and life together, then the issue of provision does not arise. In this case, all gifts to the partner, trips, etc. are solely a manifestation of the man’s goodwill. If he wants and can give his girlfriend pleasure, to his health, then she is ready to receive only material signs of attention. There is neither the opportunity nor the desire to buy her clothes, a handbag or dinner. After all, no one has the right to force men to do this. And if a woman asks or demands to provide for all her whims, the man must decide for himself whether he should “go out of his way” or find a girlfriend who will not be spoiled.
It’s another matter if a man, having a wife and children, does not provide a more or less acceptable presence in the family he has created. Nobody says that after marriage a woman should “sit on the neck” of a loving man and take it for granted that he will fully provide for her and even demand it. Of course, a woman physically cannot go to work while caring for a newborn child, so she has nothing to count on except the income that her husband brings. Otherwise, material provision for the needs of children and the family as a whole can be carried out in a way that suits both spouses.
In addition, it is worth thinking about providing for the man“s needs. Many women are happy with their spouses and are able to go on vacation every year and buy new things as the seasons change. Others are outraged because they refuse to buy the tenth fur coat and hire a housekeeper.
Men need to be told that they will not provide it only if they do not want it and will not try to do so. And when it becomes the norm, it is not an excessive requirement.
What social theory says
Psychologists are unanimous in the opinion that all problems in family relationships arise due to the spouses’ deviation from the role that nature has assigned them due to their gender. This happens when a woman is focused on her career, exhibits domineering behavior and does not show proper love and care. Or, if a man is a toddler and does not want to take responsibility, as they say, he cannot hit the mark. Subsequently, the relationship becomes unbalanced, emotional burnout of both partners begins, which leads to the breakdown of the family. Women who are assertive towards their husbands become frustrated and lose their charm, vitality and inner life. A man who is full of guilt for his wife becomes an alcoholic and (God forbid!) may have problems with potency.
However, in this case, not everything can be interpreted clearly and unambiguously.
And what does current practice show?
In the modern world, the division of professions into purely male and purely female has been completely erased. Previously, everything was simple and clear. Strong, robust men did hard physical labor and earned food for their families. Daily activities were less difficult due to the lack of electricity and running water and because women did not have the time or time to do other work. At a time when men did not provide the necessary level of prosperity, families faced difficulties.
Technology available today has made housekeeping much easier. Pans for baking bread, multicookers for dishes, coffee makers for coffee, vacuum cleaners clean apartments, and dishwashers wash dishes. All these devices have freed up hands and time for both women and men. They use this time to reach new levels in computer games or watch the next movie. And thanks to the freed-up time, the woman became educated and changed her views on business. There are many examples of successful female bosses in politics and business who skillfully lead a team of men.
What to do if a man does not earn money. Woman“s look
Where to find the golden mean?
They can argue about theory. Although we can draw on case studies, only the spouses themselves have the right to determine how financial support for their family will be provided. And they should take into account only the interests of both partners, and not the opinion of the other partner.
In a situation where the wife is the main breadwinner in the family, there is nothing wrong with the husband doing the housework and raising the children. The main thing is that in this situation both spouses find themselves in the same position.
It also happens that a man acts decisively against his wife. If a wife is suitable for this, she does not want to find herself in any profession. She becomes a housewife, spending all her time on the children and encouraging her husband to exploit her. Stand.
If partners spend the same amount of time at work, they should ideally share their financial responsibilities.
When things are really bad
A situation often arises when a woman in a family takes on all the functions and responsibilities. To support her family, she works several jobs, such as driving a draft horse, and does all the housework. And men are in creative search. They pay little here, there is no such position, there is an idea for your own business, but there is no start-up capital. In this case, we can say with confidence that the man does not provide. At the same time, he not only guarantees the financial well-being of the family, but also fulfills the functions assigned to him as a protector, support, caring husband and responsible father. He also ceases to be a man if all his actions do not go beyond the sofa. Under these conditions, it is difficult to understand women who meekly pull their weight in order to proudly declare: “I am married.”
The role of men in society has always remained essentially the same. They are rulers, warriors, protectors and miners. And the role of a woman, or rather, her rights and the resulting responsibilities and functions, are constantly changing. European women have become so overextended in the fight for their rights that normal relationships with men have become almost impossible. Instead of a mother and father, children now have a first and second parent. And the point is not that these parents have different sexual orientations. And in eastern countries, even the fifth wife thanks her for taking her as a wife and not leaving her as an old maid.
A person“s debt depends on many factors, including religion, country of residence, traditions of his people, education and economic status. Only if this is the result of his childhood, laziness, unwillingness to change the situation, can we say that he does not give birth. If he has so far tried unsuccessfully to achieve financial well-being, a wise woman will support him, guide him, give him confidence in his own abilities and wait to ensure the best outcome for the family.
