BDSM style as a way to “pump up” a new level of trust
In the following articles, the world opens up to the reader in a very unique and fascinating way, revealing a completely different perspective on relationships and sex. It”s best to carefully reconsider whether a person who isn”t ready really wants to know about BDSM styles — which are both repulsive and fascinating.
Contents of the article:
Last warning
Although the current dominance of the bondage and masochism model has received significant concessions since the days of the Marquise de Sade and Mister Sacher-Masoch, it is still very distinctive and plays with emotions other than sexual desire. What does BDSM mean to the average person? It is worth understanding that this entire concept is primarily based on power and submission — and then on physical desire and sensual seduction. Strictly speaking, people who experience BDSM pleasure may not have sex with a partner at all. However, this will be discussed in the future. It is absurd to lose sight of the fact that sadomasochism and its branches and subclasses are not only one of the ways to diversify life, but also an ideological movement with laws and restrictions that are somehow unwritten. However, there is no need to completely abandon the “world of whip and rope” experiment, the best varieties, the many directions, types and options.
“Mothers and Daughters” and other greetings from childhood
The lesson is a role-playing game, in its simplest and, in fact, already expanded form. Yes, the infamous children”s extravaganza with dolls and other children. The difference is that the roles have changed a little — and now men are no longer “husbands”, but plumbers, thieves, spaceship pilots, reptiles from the planet Nibiru, and women are nurses, teachers, prisoners of war, cats, foxes and bosses. As a rule, roles are limited only by the imagination of the participants and material support, since costumes and props can have quite serious prices. It is worth noting that role-playing games, like any creative activity, fully develop imagination and abstract thinking. By the way, they could also be limited to flirting and flirting without courage, but the solution to this problem remains at the discretion of the “player”.
Dominance and submission
What turned out to be a little more interesting is that a share of the promotion of one of the partners is added to the role component. Successful implementation of this plan requires a special level of trust in each other”s participation. The most common and simple type of BDSM of this kind is the relationship “superior-subordinate”, “policeman-guardian” and other variants of relationships where at least conditional vertical forces take place. Again, this type of play requires minimal preparation and props can be selected from those available at home. In addition, formal humiliation does not require any stopping words, except truly dangerous ones. The complexity of the concept leads to the need for more investment and a more thoughtful system of restrictions. And confidence comes into the picture — if it is comprehensive, then you can do without the “bureaucratization” of training, completely relying on the reasonableness of your partners. Otherwise, the optimal solution would be a preliminary discussion of upcoming games, the formation of a system of restrictions and prohibitions, and the choice of safe words. It is important to note that if more than two people are participating in the game, the discussion must take place in the presence of all participants. And the development of unexpected events can change the glorious animal from a wild inflammatory animal with minimal intellectual activity under the cap. By the way, safe words are also used for the same reason. This is explained below.
Safe word or when “no” means “yes”
Indeed, if the topic is completely unfamiliar to the reader, the very concept of a “safe word” may be unclear. As discussed in the previous section, passion and excitement can introduce certain adjustments to the logic of words and actions. In other words, in certain situations, a participant projecting into a repressed role may ask to stop, whereas here the situation works like a goatee joke. The safe word is always chosen in advance, several days before the game, so that each participant can “get it under their skin.” And it doesn”t always have to be chosen from a meaningful negative category—”no,” “stop,” “stop,” etc.—rather, it should be chosen from a vocabulary as far removed from the topic of gender as possible and be as simple and understandable as possible. Avoid complex constructions like “vulugehaymen” from a certain infamous film. For example, “Bicycle” or “Splat” are excellent options. The main purpose of a safe word is to introduce indecision and cognitive dissonance into the participant”s mind, and for a split second, switch the brain from arousal to reflection. This is because at the point of intersection, especially close to pleasure, pain, humiliation, and greedy arousal, without the desire to stop the process, denial of what is happening can collapse on its own. “Yes.” It is especially important to use the word “stop” when using bondage in play. This is because nine times out of ten, when it is used, it is impossible to resist, which we will discuss later.
Read also: Submitting and being submissive: ways to enter BDSM for “dummies” many uninformed people consider BDSM an inhumane perversion. But proponents call their play the most caring and loving form of human interaction.
Bondage or “the knot is tied, the knot is untied”
In very simple terms, slavery is the immobilization of something inferior (or subordinate—they”re the same thing). And this can symbolize immobilization if the partner is confined to a satin ribbon tied in a bow or a chain. Self-discarded shirts or “iron virgins” (unless without them, with the stain facing inward. This includes handcuffs, shackles, stocks, and cages of all kinds, but you won”t see them in family-friendly shopping centers. In the BDSM style, all games are about trust and safety, the main thing in bondage. Knowing a person is not enough. You must know their anatomy in great detail. This way, one of the partners won”t get into trouble due to an incorrect and not very applicable reference. It is equally important to understand that an immobilized person can fall into a state of awareness that is very different from the usual — this is normal if there is a plan, but it can be sudden and is far from a guarantee that it will be a pleasant surprise for a beginner. Be that as it may, in any case, one should not forget that the main thing is the brain. It constantly tries to bring its reality into line with what its senses signal. Therefore, it is worth repeating — it is necessary to outline all the nuances of the upcoming bondage in advance, unconditionally follow these agreements, and Always keep your finger on the pulse of the game.
If all these knots seem like spoiled children, the reader will find something below.
Sexual practices in sadism and masochism
Do you know any films or books made in the West a few years ago? Thus, in this work the word does not smell of sadomasochism at all. The concept of sadism is that a BDSM dominant gets sexual satisfaction from tormenting a submissive. In such sessions, the game component of the role may be so-so or absent altogether, since it does not play a significant role here. This is what causes pain in one participant in relation to another. No, the pain is not of the “slightly written down in a stack” kind, but the most realistic is from melted wax to a whip or its equivalent, electrical discharge of different voltages, blows with exciting measurements in ordinary people. It is not associated with sexual experience. Moreover, in BDSM, a sadistic couple can combine a dominant role with bondage sessions against a submissive and, moreover, a willing slave owner. With all the obvious fear of the latter position, it is necessary to understand that all responsibility for the health and condition of the submissive lies primarily with the owner (master, owner and other synonyms for power), who falls a little short in this regard. No matter how strange it may seem, such a pair of “slaves” enjoys it. Not from the pain of being in a subordinate state. It is recognized that not all decisions are made by them, but the simple and clear commands that follow them, as well as the tolerance of constant pain and humiliation, are the arousal that switches the levers of the sexually responsible human brain.
The ideological part of sadomasochism
As a reader, I should understand. I need to immerse myself in the world of BDSM a little more than a latex suit and furry handcuffs. Catching what is hidden from view is an important, but equally important, even more important aspect of this type of relationship. They are based on such a strong mutual trust in each other that it is difficult to imagine anywhere else. Trust in such a couple arises on a completely different level than the outrageous level in the everyday life of the majority of the majority. The conclusion is that both partners complement each other in their passions, and the master should always take care of his subordinates. And this is not a nice turn of phrase, but the literal truth. A pair of dominant and submissive is placed, who actually do everything with the owner’s permission, including going to the toilet and going for food. However, there are not as many differences as one might imagine — a list of levels of freedom, restrictions and mutual signals allows both partners to choose a relationship system in which they can have enough free time and personal space to solve problems and issues. Instead, the top part actually controls the bottom character, like a computer game character, controlling every movement.
Everyone should know this
Precautions. The most boring, but most important section. Because if you skip it, then the next article the reader will look for may be found in the Criminal Code. This is necessary and absolutely inevitable: in order to:
- Agree in advance and discuss all aspects of the upcoming game. It”s very good to be on paper.
- Adjust and shape the signaling system and stop the word. It is better to form signals along the edge so that there is enough for all occasions, from “my nose itches” to “I don’t feel a limb, I don’t feel the fading of awareness.” It is especially important to have a list of signals when conducting a bondage session. Therefore, signals must be such that they can be given in a variety of ways, from speech to Morse code.
- Stop the Word. You can say about it 100 times and not be redundant. Far from the theme of sex or the theme of the game, it is very clear and understandable, even if it is uttered in the last effort before collapsing.
- Keep a first aid kit handy during play. You”ll need all the necessary medical supplies, lysates, analgesics, ammonia and its analogues, sedatives, anti-anxiety medications, and medications for sterile patients. If you have the opportunity to use skills, you can supplement them with anti-shock and antidepressants.
- When using bondage, always keep a knife or strong scissors handy. There are ropes that are better and cheaper than human life, not the time it takes to untangle a knot.
- In games, there is always a worst-case scenario stop. If the submissive believes they”re good enough, but the dominant thinks otherwise, then the submissive is right. Conversely, if the submissive believes they”re still in one or two sessions, but the dominant sees things aren”t so rosy, then they”re already right.
- If the partner isn”t very familiar or doesn”t know each other at all, it”s important to leave the other participant”s contact information with a friend, relative, or parent to alert them to the game”s location. It may not be easy, but it”s better to be safe than sorry, as funerals and honoring loyal comrades are challenging enough as it is.
This is a very incomplete list, but it”s safe to say that the basic principles of safety in BDSM play are essential. Take care of yourself and, above all, use your head. Happy experimenting, reader! Learn more about the safe use of BDSM practices in the next article.
