Why does your ex want sex? Are there any advantages and what to do?
When a man”s ex-girlfriend asks him to have sex, he is often embarrassed. For what? Why? What does she really need? Their distrust is quite understandable — it seems that they have dotted all the dots and found all the points, and now the offer of intimacy falls on their heads out of the blue. And men understandably try to find reasons why their ex-girlfriends want to have sex with them. In some cases, representatives of the fair sex have specific motives for such behavior. Sex for women is not only physical pleasure. Therefore, it is reasonable to assume that something other than a simple desire to sleep is behind this.
Contents of the article:
Women”s reasons
There are many events and factors that can make a girl want to have sex with her ex-partner. Agreeing to this venture may not always be the right choice because the outcome may not satisfy both. However, some people cannot resist the temptation to repeat everything they did in the relationship.
Why do girls decide to take such a step? First, they often overestimate themselves when planning for the future. They cannot forget their ex as quickly as they would like and start a new relationship. Or they overestimate their appearance and seduction skills and remain without an intimate partner for a long time. In this case, of course, they return to their only opportunity for real physical pleasure — the opportunity to have sex with their ex-partner. In this situation, they are motivated only by a lack of intimacy.
Secondly, women may want to have sex with a past partner. Because they are rarely fully aware of their feelings, this behavior is unconscious. However, the fact remains that they are attracted to what they left behind. During their separation, they realized that they might have been mistaken about him.
Sometimes people need a break from each other. And the girls feel it. But for some reason, they believe that the desire to be alone for some time is a signal that the relationship is coming to an end. All this is caused by an excess of intimacy — frequent sex, a lot of attention and care from the young man. He”s always there, which means the girls don”t have time to miss out on whatever he chooses. Their life together had become routine and boring, and she wanted to leave. But, of course, this is not forever.
Thirdly, a woman may perceive the first as “pre-selection”. That is, she does not officially meet with him, but she also does not let him go from her with the help of sex in order to return to where he would return in case of failure with a new partner. This is a very uncomfortable situation for men. Often they don”t realize that they can use them in this way. This can be avoided as it is pure manipulation. However, during the dating period, in the first weeks or months of marriage, it is very difficult to identify such tendencies in beautiful people. Such “sexually preoccupied frames” can last for several years. Girls can enjoy whoever they want, but always come back to “the one”, making lies about how special he is, and taking advantage of material advantages.
Girls” opinion
Several women spontaneously shared their opinions on why they wanted physical intimacy with their ex-partners. In fact, the reasons for this desire turned out to be much more prosaic and simple than the statistics of sociological surveys. When asked why they needed this, three girls gave detailed answers
Alina: “We still broke up with our boyfriends very easily. Because they both understood that we had not left yet. Well, you know, as it always happens — we met at university in the first year and the spark jumped, two days later we were already in bed. Nobody thought about the future. They just enjoyed sex and communication. Being an ambassador for how we separated, I realized that this was an ideal relationship. Because each subsequent partner invited me to voluntarily take on more shoulders. obligations. And I didn’t need it. As a result, I realized that I wanted sex with my ex, and agreed to such a meeting so that neither of us would try to achieve something more. And this suits us.”
Nina: “After breaking up with my boyfriend, I tried several other relationships with other partners and found it very difficult. Especially in bed. Every time you start from the beginning, you learn about each other”s characteristics and desires. It is very tiring. It was much easier for me to run away from them and turn to my ex for sex. After all, we already know everything about each other. Because intimacy was easy and comfortable. For example, I don”t particularly care about my family. I”m still quite too young to put on an apron and wield a vacuum cleaner.”
Read also: Ex-boyfriend wants sex: what to do?
It”s not as uncommon as it seems when a former lover reappears in a woman”s life with an “interesting” proposal. What if he was the initiator?
Alexandra: “I guess I’m a little cruel, but I like that my ex is in my power. I could do anything with him, he was ready to do anything to get me back. And sometimes I spoiled him with myself and sex. It’s like role-playing, but it is a game, only much more serious and therefore more comfortable and dangerous. It’s this adrenaline and the feeling of power over someone that attracts me sexually, no matter what I do. In fact, I don’t I objected to his feelings, I just enjoyed his humiliation. Maybe I need to become a bdsm.”
Women believe that they suffer greatly from the lack of sex in their lives. And this is one of the most important reasons why they decide to use their previous partners to fulfill their desires.
What should a man do?
First of all, you should pay attention to the person with whom your ex is offering sex. It is worth evaluating your communication with your chosen one in the past after a breakup and making sure that she is not using him. Most importantly, you also need to evaluate your feelings. Sex sooner or later can lead to the fact that one of the partners wants to return to the relationship. And if a man is not ready for this, he has every moral right to reject this offer. Don”t be fooled by the expectation of “no-strings-attached sex”—it”s not possible between people who were once in a relationship.
However, if a man is convinced that he can resist the temptation to return to the relationship he once left, we can come to an agreement. However, it is worth considering the fact that the girl herself may want something more. In this case, the man must be prepared to keep her at a distance. It is worth making sure in advance that both participants are ready to abandon their obligations. Even if one of them violates this agreement, you can always refer to this fact to refuse to continue the relationship. Men and women should never approach each other if they want simple sex.
Sex with an ex — why, when and why it is dangerous for a man | return of ex
A man should also ensure that this intimacy does not lead to any awkward conversations. For example, if he suddenly has a new partner who does not know about his current sexual relationship. This can have very unpleasant consequences both mentally and physically. In other words, you may have scandals and even fights. Who needs it? No one. If a man suspects his new partner”s ex-girlfriend of caring about his safety and reputation, he should reject the option of intimacy with her. However, he can safely have sex with his ex-girlfriend as long as there is nothing suspicious about her, just as he would not want to approach his ex.
The men themselves urge their friends not to worry about anything and to take advantage of what they voluntarily offer. This prospect is very attractive. Even if a girl wants to have sex to achieve her goals, she cannot do it because the man is not suitable. He sleeps with her whenever he wants and leaves when he sees fit. And if the girl is not satisfied with this, she can always leave forever. If she agrees to this, then this is an ideal option for both former partners.
Pros and cons
If an ex-girlfriend wants sex, men tend to experience doubts and uncertainty about the need for this activity. Especially for those who cannot make a decision, a list of positive and negative aspects of intimacy with an ex-partner has been compiled. This allows them to make the final decision to accept or refuse, taking into account their own circumstances and factors.
Among the positive aspects, the following aspects can be highlighted:
- Availability of this type of intimacy if the girl provides it herself. All that is required from the man is consent. To do this, you don’t need to look for a special person, since the right partner is always nearby and really wants it. This leads to loss of time, nerves and money.
- Sex with a partner you know well can be very enjoyable and easy. All inclinations and fetishes have long been explored, so there is no need to worry about propriety and restrictions. All people have to do is just sleep with each other (or go to unusual places) and please each other.
- An intimate relationship with an ex-girlfriend can turn into a dream for many men — sex without commitment. After all, both partners will definitely understand that relationships are not needed just to enjoy sex. No one should place hopes or expectations on another person. And for many it is incredibly convenient.
Of course, it is not without its shortcomings. Both people must understand that such a relationship could become dangerous for them in the future. And they should resort to it only if they are completely confident in their abilities. Even this is not a guarantee that someone will not have the desire to ruin everything.
The main disadvantages of sex with the first person:
- This is nothing new. If a man wants to diversify his sex life, returning to an already familiar partner is not the best option for him. Of course, in some situations a girl can be much more relaxed than in a relationship, but this happens very rarely. Men need to deal with what they”ve already tried.
- Possible problems with your ex-partner”s new boyfriend. Some of them will probably find out about her connection if she doesn”t carefully hide it. And this can lead to a less pleasant and indeed dangerous confrontation. People have done truly terrible things out of simple jealousy. Don”t expose yourself to this risk, at least if you have any suspicions.
- Sooner or later, the idyll may collapse, and eventually feelings will awaken in one of the partners. And he wants the relationship back. Because sex reminded him of all the good things that happened between these people when they were together. And this can be a big disadvantage for those who want simple sex from the old days.
In terms of the importance of the result — negative or positive — it is difficult to say which is higher. Having sex with someone you”re not in a relationship with is not innocent or carefree, so people should make the choice entirely at their own risk. This is a big decision and you should be prepared for the consequences. Otherwise, you will have to suffer from your own mood swings, the woman’s cunning, or the hands of her new boyfriend. When making a decision, it is worth considering the fact that the most ideal person for the role of a sex partner without obligations is an ex-partner.
With a new girlfriend or boyfriend, even more difficulties and problems, and even failures, may arise. Also, if one of your ex-girlfriends offers to have sex with you, why not accept the offer if it seems safer?
