What is sexism, and how do we unwittingly become sexists?
“Men are always in charge,” “All men are assholes,” “Women driving cars are like monkeys with grenades,” “All women are bitches.” If you encounter such expressions in your life, then it”s sexism.
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In most cases, it is directed towards women. However, it can also be directed towards men. What sexism is and how to combat it will be discussed in more detail later in this article.
Sexism—what is it?
If we try to explain the concept under discussion as simply as possible, sexism is discrimination based on gender. Some psychologists compare it to racism. Separation occurs only by gender, not by skin color. It is sexist to assume that a woman cannot solve the wave equation because she was born without a penis. This has nothing to do with a lack of ability or sufficient practice in physics. Or, conversely, that men will never be able to hold a child. It is because he “has an understanding of this delicate female task.” Feminists first began talking about sexism in the middle of the last century. Historically, it was they who began Realize that men have far more privileges than women. Indeed, centuries ago, girls were first expected to quietly follow their husbands to the altar under a white veil. And spend their entire lives bearing children and pleasing their husbands. And there are countless examples of such “sexual injustice.”
And to this day, sexism manifests itself in many areas of life:
- In work and careers. Women are not given higher positions simply because their gender is “weaker.” Or a male colleague”s salary is raised only because he needs to support a family. And for her sake, make her husband think about this issue.
- Religion. Women are not allowed to enter temples during menstruation. And there are, for example, completely different places in women”s and men”s mosques.
- In intimate life. To this day, sexually liberated women receive offensive nicknames and are stigmatized in society. Moreover, the importance of the female orgasm is generally questioned. You can even hear phrases like, “Sexual pleasure is only for women.” men.
- Entertainment. Married women with children want to relax and enjoy it when there are only pots and pans on the stove. And for men — all the other pleasures in life. After all, he needs to relax after hard work.
Interestingly, sexism is actively supported by the state and the usual norms of raising children. For example, girls are taught from an early age that if they don’t know how to cook, then no one needs them. And boys are ashamed to inevitably show weakness and cry. In addition, during a divorce, children always live with their mother. And for men, getting a job in a kindergarten is considered strange and even shameful. Even if he is a great teacher. Men and women occupying the same position may be offered completely different salaries.
What types of sexism are there, and is it always negative?
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Today, there are several types of discrimination based on gender. Three main ones.
- Aggressive or hostile. In this case, people are demeaned based on their gender. For example, men are called “filthy base creatures” and women are considered second-class citizens, created only to serve their spouses. Today this situation is observed in some eastern countries. Especially cheerful — in relation to women.
- Favorable or positive. These include, for example, men trying to take a woman”s heavy bag, giving her a more comfortable seat on a train, or otherwise trying to make her feel comfortable. After all, she is a fragile and airy creature.
- Interior. In this case, the person agrees with the current situation around him. For example, the wife of an eastern patriarchal man says that her greatest happiness is to obey. At the same time, she actively condemns other girls who build a career or refuse to have many children at the request of their spouse.
Knowing the main types of sexism, you can see that you can speculate on the topic of positive sexism. Is this possible in principle? The very definition of “positive sexism” seems strange, even a little ridiculous. After all, we are talking about gender discrimination, which is a very common form of sexism. However, you have probably heard phrases from men like: “It will be difficult for you, let me do it.” Or: “This design is destroying the skin on your hands. I would rather work with them. Beauty is more important to you.” You can treat them differently, but, as a rule, they have nothing negative to say. For example, a man may realize that a woman is physically a little weaker than him and help her carry a heavy load. Or he may suggest to her that she is more concerned with her appearance than he is. And do some uncomfortable tasks.
Ardent feminists perceive such offers of help negatively. And they may even be offended by them.
How to respond to sexism?
Today it is almost impossible not to encounter sexism at least once in your life, especially if you live in a CIS country. Perhaps you will meet him from time to time. To avoid feeling emotionally distressed by sexist attacks, you need to know how to deal with them appropriately. Psychologists offer the following scheme:
- If you hear a sexist remark, first calm down and try not to overreact. This will help you take a few deep breaths and take a few extra seconds to come up with an answer. “What did you say?”, “Oh God!” You shouldn’t immediately shout phrases like: “What did you say?” And try not to call your interlocutor a sexist. Otherwise, this could be the beginning of a serious scandal.
- Make sure you understand the question or statement correctly. Usually the interlocutor understands that he has already expressed himself inappropriately in your words.
- Explain what you think about such statements. For example, you can do the following. And your jokes about my family responsibilities offend and offend me. I wish you would be more respectful. Then he began to pay more attention to the words he spoke.
Of course, you cannot be sure that after this the interlocutor will suddenly begin to apologize and will never again make offensive assumptions. However, the outcome here depends on him.
If a person is adequate and respects you, he will definitely try to take into account your future interests. Then you can find a compromise and continue communication in a comfortable environment. However, there are others. For example, men who are known to be poorly educated and cannot express themselves other than by humiliating their interlocutors in dialogue. Especially when communicating with the opposite sex. Your attempts to explain your position to such characters will likely be completely pointless. And a sincere demand that this never happen again will only cause irritation. In such situations, the only way out is to stop communicating with sexists. You don”t have to put up with their nasty comments. Even if these are your close relatives or colleagues.






