I love a man, but I don“t want to give him a blow job—what should I do?
I love a man, but I don“t want to give him a blow job—what should I do?
Are you stalking your partner and choking on him? Are you trying to find a man who shares your views on breakups? Or delving into the reasons behind your aversion to oral sex? I have a solution for you!
Contents:
Am I some kind of weirdo?
„Is it normal not to want to give a blow job?“ — Women often ask these questions, if not to sexologists, then at least on online forums. Today, accredited sex educator Emma McGowan answers these questions. Oral sex is often presented as the icing on the cake, as a practice that everyone worships, but no one gets enough of. It“s become clear that everyone in the world worships oral sex—to offer and receive these caresses. But no matter how wonderful a particular sexual practice may be, there will always be people who don“t like it. And yes, it“s normal to dislike oral sex. And usually, the partner enjoys it too. And treats it with indifference, performing it for the pleasure of their partner. All of this is normal. See where I“m going with this? Sex is very diverse. Here, the word „normal“ means almost nothing. (Even the most unusual practices) will undoubtedly find both haters and admirers. But most of the questions I receive as a sex educator begin with the words „Is this normal?“ begin with the words „Is this normal.“
So I would like to change the wording and ask „What are you really asking me when you ask this question? Are you asking my permission not to do this? Are you looking to resolve a conflict with your partner? Or do you think it makes you a weird person if you don“t like oral sex?“ Usually, when people ask what the norm is, they mean themselves. For example, tell me, am I normal? A psychotherapist can help you understand this issue. They will help you identify the damage (if any) that underlies your aversion to oral sex and is preventing you from living your best sex life. Important: Regardless, you always have the right not to engage in sexual behavior that does not bring you pleasure. If you don“t like oral sex and don“t want to deal with it, you have every right to refuse your partner. Likewise, they have the right to decide whether this form of sexual life is suitable for them. Summary: Yes, it“s normal to not like oral sex. I also think we can agree that we should stop using the word „normal“ when talking about sex. Do you think this issue needs to be addressed? In this case, contact a sexologist. Not ready to ask for help or don’t see the need for it? If everything suits you, then everything is in its place. Live as you see fit.“
A man and his feelings: what should I do?
So, we understand and believe that it is absolutely normal to not like oral sex — even from a professional point of view. But your man (regular man or sex friend) still wants a blowjob and insists on it! What to do?
Read also: 9 reasons why men love cunnilingus so much sexual relationships are multifaceted and varied. Some people prefer missionary positions only, while others find them unacceptable. Sort of.
Let“s look at the men and consider the point of view of John Ortinedo — Colmor Colmon Colmon player:
Do you really want to stay in a relationship with someone who puts pressure on you and threatens to break up with you if you don“t give him a blowjob?“ There is a universal rule that applies to all areas of relationships and sex. Anyone who forces you to do something you don“t like is an idiot, and you can safely let him know that. Be honest with yourself. If you don“t want to give a blowjob, then that“s completely normal because you“re not ready for it or you“re just uncomfortable with the process. Things can change over time. I also I know women who just don“t give blowjobs, but it doesn“t affect their personal and sexual life. When a man acts like a gentleman, he stops pressuring you and becomes more patient. Perhaps, when the time comes, you will open up new sexual perspectives. Ultimately, it all comes down to respect — his and your respect. Sex and respect go hand in hand.“
Why do I so not want it?
Some of the most common reasons a girl refuses to give a blowjob are: she is a woman, she is a man, she is a woman, she is a man, she is a woman, she is a man, she is a woman. By the way, this section helps men read themselves — perhaps your girlfriend refuses “pleasure” for some reason? For many women, oral sex is associated with a completely different level of intimacy. Besides, a rigorous education always leaves its mark. If a girl grew up in an environment where oral sex (masturbation, sex toys, etc.) was considered dirty and vicious, is it any wonder that she avoids this practice in her power? Some girls are very confused by the fact that the penis is an organ used by men to satisfy their needs. Therefore, they are skeptical about such practices or even more overt. Girls may also suffer from one type of injury. For example, she decides to please a person, but it turns out that this person does not take good care of his hygiene. Smell, taste, hair — all this can confuse a girl. But instead of discussing this issue with her partner, she simply prefers to avoid oral sex — for fear of offending the man.
- Lack of feedback
Sometimes a girl will be happy to please her partner, but she is afraid of him. She is embarrassedly silent. When a man does not react to anything, the girl begins to understand that she is doing something wrong. As a result, she loses the desire to give a blowjob.
- Injustice
Another category of men are those who need a blowjob from their partner, but refuse to give her cunnilingus. Men, is it worth explaining why in this situation the girl does not want to try for you? Women, is it worth reminding you that there are more responsive men in this world who will “appreciate” you and follow your soul?
- Fear of doing something wrong
The girl does not have enough experience and is afraid that her incorrect technique will not bring pleasure to her partner. Is this your case? Well, your problem can be solved easily and simply — practical exercises and reviews from men. Yes, this also happens. A person may not like certain parts of his partner“s body, so he may experience discomfort from the sight of male genital organs.
- Man“s behavior
You seem to want to please a man, but as soon as he starts putting pressure on you and threatening you, your desire to please him quickly disappears. In this case, your reaction is quite understandable. Explain to the man that you are uncomfortable with his behavior. If he doesn“t want to change. Consider if it“s worth it. To sum it up: hating blowjobs is just as normal as loving them. The reasons why you don“t want to do this can be very different: from your frivolous attitude towards people“s behavior and hygiene, to your attitude and resulting negative experience. And if a man threatens you and is not ready to listen to you, you should think about the fact that he is keeping you in this relationship.
