Psychology of a mistress: what to do if a woman falls in love with a married man
There is a term for this: “mistress psychology.” This perfectly explains why many girls try to fall in love with married men. Despite the fact that the wives themselves call such girls “homewreckers,” in reality everything is much deeper, and the destruction of the family is not always the only goal of the mistress. Psychologists believe that girls who take men away from their families are first of all trying to overcome their complex and create their own importance.
Contents of the article:
- Why does a girl develop “mistress psychology”?
- What are the categories of mistresses?
- Who is this mistress anyway?
- Why do men look for love on the side?
- What to do if you have feelings for a married man?
- What does a mistress need to consider?
- Advantages of a relationship with a married man for a mistress
- Why does a man need a mistress?
Why does a girl develop “mistress psychology”?
In most cases, the qualities of a housewife are instilled in a girl at an early age. For example, in kindergarten she felt defeated and insulted by her rivals. Then the desire to restore the crown with other representatives of the same sex passes into adulthood. The psychology of a lover is not formed in one day. This is not what you tell yourself after a bad breakup. “This is it, now I have a blessing,” and she truly becomes one. Many girls follow this path, but soon return to their previous worldview, because the position of the mistress is very precarious and separation is very rarely successful. Psychologists believe that the reason lies deeper. In this case, we are not talking about the division itself, but about the people among whom the struggle between women takes place. An ordinary married man may suddenly realize that his feelings for another girl are stronger than for his own wife, but he does not play to all goals at once and tries to separate from his legal wife. However, this happens extremely rarely, and in most cases, a woman who fits into an already created couple remains a temporary “toy” and does not replace the wife’s place. Such games have a painful impact on women“s self-esteem, and girls who enter into them deliberately rate themselves very low, and also try to assert themselves by destroying already established families, but as a result, they only become disappointed in themselves and ultimately lose confidence in their own attractiveness, as well as in the attractiveness of men. Sometimes, in order to win back his rival, the spouse tries to understand the motives for her behavior. But here everything is simple — girls who fight off their wives’ men are often very confident in themselves, have low self-esteem and are afraid of loneliness.
What are the categories of mistresses?
Experts analyzed the behavior of all girls seeking to start a relationship with a married man and found that there is a so-called psychology of mistresses and that all breakups can be divided into three categories. Before rushing at her husband“s mistress and tearing out her hair, you should find out whether the girl knew that her husband was not free? Sometimes men themselves add fuel to the fire, allowing women to fall in love. And when things go too far, they do not acknowledge the existence of a spouse and possibly children. Such relationships rarely, if ever, last long. Because when the beloved finds out that she is not alone, she becomes very disappointed, ends the relationship or begins to throw tantrums, which then irritates the man himself. The most dangerous separation is one in which the relationship is a game, an adrenaline rush. Married men, especially those whose fat-headed wives walk around the house “in old dressing gowns,” decide to leave the family, spending their lives with a bright, beautiful girl.
Who is this mistress anyway?
In the romantic period, people would say that mistress comes from the word „love“, but modern women who have husbands prefer another, more aggressive version — „homewrecker“ or „bitch“.
A very simple and understandable explanation was given by none other than Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky in his novel “The Idiot.” They are quite happy with the formality of an open relationship, because it is convenient, not necessary. The lover does not have to worry about cooking dinner, picking him up from work, or spending time with another lover. Initially, the woman understands her situation and in most cases does not make further efforts, since she is already confident of failure. Contrary to the stereotype of being socially active, this is not necessarily a woman dressed in couture, with thin daggers, wavy eyelashes and inviting married men into her web. Basically, this is a simple girl or woman who works with men or meets with members of the opposite sex in a cafe. The decision to have a woman on the side does not come instantly. Fans are often radically different from homely, cozy, good and warm, such boring wives, and that is why they are interesting. With such a woman, he is distracted by everyday problems and worries, accumulating tension and incontinence. Guide for lovers to become an ideal woman in our article about guide links for girls.
Why do men look for love on the side?
It is interesting to note that most sexologists and psychologists agree that men with internal psychological problems tend to choose mistresses rather than resolve difficult situations with their wives.
Read also: All about male psychology in relationships with women. Determining a man’s psychotype it“s no secret that men and women have completely different psychological models. This is due to the fact that the nature of men and women pursues different goals.
Of course, there are exceptions, but the psychology of men is such that they are less willing to spend time and money on a mistress when they have a beautiful, understanding wife with whom they have developed a warm and trusting relationship. Weak men do not want to spend energy on solving problems or thinking about “left” campaigns. It just so happens that women fight more to maintain relationships and are ready for them. Because of a small misunderstanding with their wife, some men strive to find someone who can listen and support them. And in most cases, such a person is amorous, always in a good mood, loving and understanding. The house is equipped. There is a lover who never goes away. Then another woman appears, hot and beautiful, who talks about giving away all her salary, raising children and going to the village to visit her grandmother.
Wives should be wary if boredom has appeared in the relationship, if cohabitation has become very “jamming” for both partners, and the amount of sex has been reduced to the notorious once a month.
What to do if you have feelings for a married man?
Many girls fall for the drama that undoubtedly exists in relationships with married men. Who doesn“t want to feel like the heroine of a melodrama? However, you shouldn’t talk about loving married men. Because even among those 100 percent of women who were sure that they would never love “this man,” feelings arise instantly. As they say, evil love and feelings can arise even at the most inopportune moments, for example, if a man turns out to be married. The first step is to analyze the situation. Despite the fact that today it is much easier for people to decide on divorce, especially if the couple already has children, this is not the only issue. The mistress should think about whether she is ready for the man to go to his last wife, see her and the children and pay alimony. It“s always worth checking a person“s words. The couples do not intend to terminate the marriage certificate. The hostess can communicate with relatives and friends of the chosen one in order to fully assess the situation. And if a person interferes with such communication, he must hide something.
If, contrary to the man“s words, the marriage turns out to be not dead at all, on the contrary, if it blooms and smells, such a relationship should be terminated, because it will end in disappointment and perhaps even pain.
What does a mistress need to consider?
Once the euphoria of the first meeting is left behind, a harsh reality arises for which it is necessary to prepare in advance. Every girl who decides to become a mistress must understand that the game is played by male rules. Dates do not last long, and after three or four meetings, the man will most likely end the relationship with his lover completely and break off all relationships.
What to do if you fall in love with a married man? /advice from a psychologist/
By following the advice of psychologists, you can have a correct and harmonious relationship with a married man. First of all, it is worth preserving the candy-bouquet period as long as possible, because this is the best part of the relationship. You should not tell your girlfriend or a stranger about your lover, as this can lead to a loss of trust and loss of confidence in the relationship. In addition, women who hide their affairs from their acquaintances prove to men that they can be trusted, and men relax. The mistake of many inexperienced girls is that they criticize their lover“s wife. There is no need to reduce the conversation to a discussion of her qualities, even if he insists that she is terrible. It’s better not to think about her at all, but to switch your attention to the hostess herself. You don“t have to be better than your wife or be like her. A man chooses a mistress to move away from a boring image and experience new emotions.
Advantages of a relationship with a married man for a mistress
Firstly, communication with someone else’s husband can be positive for a mistress, since a woman retains her independence and freedom, and for many modern women this is important. At the same time, they acquire a permanent partner for sex. Girls studying at university almost always take a lover for the sake of money and opportunity. This is how lovers behave, and everyone receives some benefit from this relationship.
The main thing in this business is not to sell too cheap and be content with good, high-quality gifts, as well as moral support. Sometimes girls with their husbands become mistresses. In most cases, they intend to leave him and are looking for a new partner. The main reason why girls agree to date married men is the desire to increase their self-esteem and feel desired and sexy.
Why does a man need a mistress?
The most common reason is the lack of pleasure and novelty in the relationship with his legal wife. When romance becomes monotonous, it turns to duty or obligation, and the person tries to regain the sense of novelty, pleasure and interest. If the wife does not support her husband“s wishes, he looks for what he needs. Cheating for males is a way to get away from the tedious bustle and stimulate emotions. The second reason why men decide to cheat and have mistresses is love. Sometimes feelings arise completely spontaneously, and the person himself cannot understand how it happened. However, if strong feelings arise for another woman, not everything can be worked out with the wife, and a breakup is most likely inevitable.
In his mistress, a man looks for support and support, passion and emotions that are lacking at home. It is interesting that men even change their wives, who are beautiful, smart and cheerful. Of course, two people must constantly accuse each other of cheating and without psychological contact and trust between spouses will ultimately lead to discord in the relationship. Sometimes, if the wife is beautiful, the opposite mechanism works — the man does not open up to her and goes to a simpler woman. The men themselves write in chats and conversations that they write “because men are trying to look for topics for life without shaving anything” or “because mistresses are sex and topics.” A wife is a woman from whom children are born, a family is created.”
