Is there sex in old age and how does it happen?
In the media, sex between people over 40 is practically unheard of; if over 50, everything below the abdomen should be completely dry, and it’s recommended to slowly walk to the cemetery. Really?
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“Sex is entertainment for young people,” says the surrounding culture. Moreover, older people are rarely sexually attractive to younger people. Imagine two wrinkled crocodiles drilling in bed, creaking with arthritis—such pleasure.
But in reality, it’s all very personal. Often, older people stop having sex simply because it’s no longer as interesting or comfortable as it once was. However, often, the opposite is true. Older people have sex even more often than younger people because they retain the pleasure, and they have more free time, experience, and release.
To form your own opinion and, generally, to understand how this works for different people, read what real people say about their sexual adventures on the QUA website.
“Older_Sex_‒What_Is_It?
- When I was 25 and newly married, I was messy, sweaty, and swearing during sex.
When I was 36, I was messy, sweaty, dirty, and squirting all sorts of fluids during sex.
Now that I’m 42 and a pubertal son, I’m messy, sweaty, dirty, squirting, and sloppy during sex.
If this trend is to be believed, my sex appeal has remained unchanged, with the added bonus of increasingly free and shameless expressions of my desires and the materialization of my fantasies, with no signs of stopping.
If you had asked me 24 years ago what age is best to enjoy sex, I would have said adolescence. Now I’m 42, and I consider that middle age. Decades later, I still creak and groan in my old bed. And I would say the best age to enjoy sex is old age.
I intend to have sex as long as I live. I’ve heard that some people enjoy pornography featuring their grandmothers. “That’s good.” — Nanadini Prakash Menon, former psychologist:
- We were deceived! I always hear that older women have it better because they don’t have to worry about pregnancy and need to boost their self-confidence. I’m a case in point. Menopause really killed my libido. I always loved sex (or at least thought I did) and looked forward to being even more interested in it. But now I don’t care that I’m not having sex.
I’m 62 years old, and this lack of interest started about 8 years ago. My partner (we’ve been together for 10 years and married for 7) is very frustrated by my lack of interest and takes it very personally. We went through therapy for the next 5 years. In fact, once we get going, I like it. Sometimes.
We’ve tried a lot to spice up our sex life, but I still feel like it’s failing me. I’m confused because I don’t think he really wants me (I’m overweight, clinically obese, and he’s made comments that indicate he finds fat unattractive to himself and others). He says he wants me, but I don’t believe him.
Read also: Sex in Old Age: Strange Fiction or Shocking Reality?
Gender is not a disability! Destroy the following stereotype: only young people can enjoy sex. The truth is, many…
Sex in mature age / Olga Vasilenko // this is not Freud
In short, we’ve all been lied to! Age doesn’t make sex better! I want people to be more aware that menopause can have a deadly effect on sex, and that women aren’t rude, selfish, or uninterested if they’re not interested in sex. Liz Smith
- Theoretically, sex can be enjoyed for a very long time. As this formula explains: maximum sexual pleasure limit = point of death minus 10 seconds. “Corpse lovers disagree.” — William Peissert.
- I’m just under 60, my husband a little older. The pace is a little slower, the frequency a little lower, but the quality is better than ever. We feel like we’re having the best sex of our lives, and it’s getting better and better. I believe the quality will peak one day, but I don’t expect it to happen anytime soon.” — Paul Weil, Marriage and Sex Educator
- At our age, sex isn’t as good as it was in our 20s, but it’s still satisfying. Contrary to popular myth, sex isn’t just for young people. Many older people continue to enjoy sexuality into their 80s and beyond.
However, certain issues, such as erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation, can interfere with pleasure. As men age, testosterone levels decline, and changes in sexual function become common.
Changes include the need for additional stimulation to achieve and maintain an erection or orgasm, shorter orgasms, decreased semen vigor, a longer time to achieve another erection after ejaculation, lack of erection, premature ejaculation, or ejaculation before intercourse begins.” — Asis Kumar, Sex Counselor
- I’m 81 years old, and my wife is 78. We used to have sex once a day until we both climaxed. Now it’s only been one day. Age, what can you do?” — Ben Jones, Engineer.
- My husband and I are in our 60s, but I don’t want to say we’re old because we’re still young at heart. We’ve been married for over 40 years, and about six months ago we came to the conclusion that marriage was no longer an important part of our lives. We decided to do something about it.
Now we sleep naked and have sex almost every night, sometimes up to three times, then several times a week, but only in the morning. We still work, but when we sleep naked, a quickie can be impulsive at any time, and we can work without feeling tired the next day.
We’re more relaxed on weekends. We’re happy we’ve solved the problem of lack of sex in our lives and regained our youth and drive. It’s absolutely true that the more sex you have, the more you want and love sex. We’re convinced of it! — Anonymous
- I’m 56 years old, and I have sex with my husband five times a week. Four more times on the weekend, and we’ll still have time to take the dog to the park.” — Evelyn Delserro, Manager, Graphic Designer, and Animator
- I’m 66 and my wife is 61. We’ve been married for 40 years. When we first got married, we had sex almost every day, often more than once. Now we have sex once a week — Anonymous Account
- My wife and I are in our 50s, she’s 55 and I’m 57, and we’ve been married for 35 years. We have three daughters. My wife and I have marathon sex that lasts anywhere from an hour and a half to two hours. From foreplay to orgasm.
We do 69 at least once a week, shower and bathe together several times a week, walk around the house naked, and have converted a large poolside cabana into a sex room. A full, healthy sex life helps improve our marriage and our well-being.” – Buddy Lee
