The trap of false promises: how to see through a manipulator

As a rule, at the beginning of dating, the intentions of most people are very transparent. However, there are types of society that do not shy away from manipulation. They mercilessly waste other people”s time and emotional energy, destroying other people”s lives. Today we will discuss how to protect a person from manipulators in the early stages of dating. We are talking about their most common game, False Promises.

Contents of the article:

• Benefits of Researching Bad Intentions
• False promises
  • How not to fall into the trap of a manipulator // Nikita Nepryakhin / this is not
• How to protect yourself

Benefits of Researching Bad Intentions

To do this, you need to spend time studying their lightning-fast and insidious art. Learning how to influence and persuade people helps in the context of two possibilities

• Opportunities to create mutually beneficial exchanges with other people (both people gain something of value).
• As well as the ability to recognize and protect yourself from manipulation (when others give and take nothing).

Thus, even for those who do not want to be a cheat or a deceiver, it is useful to study the manipulative style of behavior. In the world of relationships, it is important to know how to protect yourself from rude individuals.

False promises

It’s one thing to somehow influence a relationship and do it for their benefit. And it’s a completely different thing to take without giving anything in return. A psychological game called False Promises fulfills this manipulative goal. In this game, the manipulator receives something at the moment and promises something good from himself, but later. Of course, the promised mercy remains unrealized. The victim of manipulation feels deceived.

How not to fall into the trap of a manipulator // Nikita Nepryakhin / this is not Freud

Read also: How to attract the man you like? Work councils some girls don”t know how their fandom will end. The secret of their success does not lie in external factors such as clothes, makeup or hairstyle. They.

The False Promises game offers many options. Some of them are more or less soft. For example, if you go with your partner to a restaurant that he likes, you visit the one you like better (which, of course, never happens). There are tougher options if the person promises to stop drinking or change if given another opportunity.

How to protect yourself

It is usually not easy for people to protect themselves from this kind of manipulation. First, we have a very strong desire to trust our partners. And this is very normal and helps good relationships. Second, with such a commitment that the person cannot fulfill, it is difficult to determine the difference between manipulation and well-intentioned manipulation. This can be done as follows:

• Take care of yourself first. If a person is truly sincere, he will most likely go to the restaurant you like first. In the same way, he or she will not object to you maintaining a sober lifestyle and being faithful until you have earned forgiveness for a while.
• Set your terms. For example, if your partner constantly receives money from you, you can explain to him or her that he or she will pay at the restaurant while dating you until the debt is repaid. This condition does not create obstacles for people who behave in good faith. If a person begins to experience humiliation or negativity, manipulation occurs.
• A call for self-respect. One of the most inventive methods. After all, even liars like to think of themselves as good people. Therefore, you can check their integrity.

For example, you can say. “Because you are a very good person.” All these losers who are full of promises are not so without the intention of keeping them.” If the person is sincere, he will like this statement. However, such language will make such a dishonest person feel very bad. Therefore, if you need to say something like this to your partner and need a hostile attitude, you need to be careful.