Should a girl write to a guy first: a scientific point of view
Should a girl text a guy first? This is a general question that sooner or later everyone decides for themselves. Someone who is looking for an answer relies on their beliefs and feelings, while someone who is looking for more information to make a decision. Hints and life experiences of mothers, grandmothers, friends, imitation of easily captivating heroines of films and books — all this is used. But what can science say about this? What do men themselves think? Find out by answering the following questions.
Contents of the article:
Why is it so scary to write first?
It”s very natural to be afraid of ruining your relationship with the person you want to protect. If you”re interested in each other but haven”t become close enough yet, the fear of appearing intrusive or disturbing or irritating your partner at the wrong time is common.
Another reason is that it is artificially encouraged by our culture. The fact that girls can take the initiative seems vulgar to some. In our reality, where women work full-time just like men, make significant contributions to the household finances, and have full civil rights and responsibilities, this form of modesty is just a relic of the past. It”s offensive and even dangerous.
Popular point of view
The experience of many generations of women, mixed with restrictive and outdated cultural attitudes, dictates to girls that it is undesirable to seek contact at first. It is believed that interested parties will always find the time and resources to take the first step. This approach, firstly, reduces the risk of refusal, and secondly, saves time that girls could spend on more enthusiastic fans.
However, the attitude of “women should” and “men should” erases not only gender, it erases humanity. A man who truly sympathizes with a woman may actually be crushed by the same doubts that she has. If he is too pushy, will women feel threatened?
Woman”s choice, man”s choice: scientific experiment
Sociologists and psychologists set up an experiment to find out how women and men decide to establish contact with a potential partner.
Women were first subjected to the experiment. A small street cafe was rented. There were two chairs at each table. One was provided to accommodate a person assisting a scientist in an experiment. The other chair was left empty to be occupied by women of their choice.
One by one, the participants were invited to the cafe. Several men appeared in front of them. They were all dressed differently, depending on the degree of wealth they were supposed to portray for the experiment. The men also used different poses and facial expressions to show how interested the participants were in the date.
Read also: The girl stopped writing first — a reason for panic or not?
Girls are very mysterious animals, but for some reason men often forget about this. And, of course, they pay for their forgetfulness. Often.
Women had to choose the man they found most attractive and sit at his table. From the moment the participant entered the cafe, the camera tracked her every eye movement. This helped us understand how honest the woman”s choice was. Namely, whether she will end up joining the man she has given the most attention to for a long time.
According to the results of the experiment, the women turned out to be very brave. Despite differences in social status and the degree of interest of men, most women made steps towards a partner whom they considered attractive to them.
But still, one of the common reasons why girls don’t write first is the fear of being rejected. Read about the main reasons by following the link.
It is interesting to note that the results for men were exactly the opposite. They could look at the most well-groomed and chic women in the cafe for a very long time, but they looked at those who, in their opinion, had more chances: the girls were simpler, and those who showed them the place smiled.
Even though our culture views determinism as a traditional trait of men, women are actually more courageous and open-minded—at least when it comes to relationships.
Should you write to your ex-man? Alexander Kovalchuk
Men are people too
A woman should remember that the man she”s starting a relationship with is just as human as she is. He doesn”t need to be a paragon of masculinity as she does a paragon of femininity. Men experience the same fears and insecurities as women. Sometimes they don”t make the first move because they don”t want to and don”t have the time, because they are people with their own experiences.
Have the right to speak and use it
The woman couldn”t directly express her feelings; she only hinted at them, at something long past.
This man simply can”t understand that when you”re feeling down and need real help, and when you”re trying to get his attention, you”re feigning helplessness.
Words are the only reliable way to convey your feelings. Use them to speak directly about your likes and dislikes—it”s the right thing to do, and women of past generations had to compete. And it”s not a forced necessity, because modern men seem insecure.
To write or not to write?
Ultimately, should a girl text a man first? ANSWER: yes, if she wants to continue a relationship with an acquaintance. There”s nothing shameful or unnatural about this. Many men encourage a woman”s interest. And there”s no reliable way to know if you”re attracted to each other other than by talking about it directly.
Therefore, the “Text First” game is useless from this perspective. Who texts first doesn”t affect the mutual interest of the partners or the success of the future relationship. However, a one-sided initiative can lead to useless human emotions and a subsequent emotional breakdown.
