What is the psychology of jealousy and its types? Why are you jealous?
Love can last three years, ten years, a lifetime or a few months. Each “eternity” implies its own period of time, and “relationships” imply a certain set of points that may not even coincide. In any case, none of these couples are ideal idylls. Somehow people quarrel, get angry at each other and at least relax a little. You can live with a lot of negative things, but there are some things that can get stuck in your throat that won”t get you very far. Each bull has its own rules, so today it’s time to figure out why love doves interfere too much. Therefore, the psychology of jealousy should stop being a secret.
Contents of the article:
Where do legs grow from?
First, we need to understand the emotion itself. These are not the most positive emotions in the form of self-doubt, doubt and fear. They merge and form heavy emotions in the soul. Outwardly, it looks like a passionate attachment and a desire not to share your soul mate with anyone else. It may seem very romantic, but the absence of that veil makes it less enjoyable.
Psychologists have been studying phenomena such as the psychology of jealousy for several years now, and have discovered that the psychology of jealousy can be a very powerful tool in the fight against jealousy. Luckily, for those unfamiliar with cognitive science and everything that goes with it, their research has already paid off. In psychotherapy, this feeling is described as a fear of losing one”s kindness or a strong desire to maintain virtues that bring pleasure. In fact, at the heart of it all is self-doubt, which is the fear of not being as good as someone else. On the other hand, if a person is jealous of his/her partner, it means that he/she unconsciously doubts his/her own fidelity (“Well, he/she deserves better.”), even if it is covered with words such as “I am not a good person.”.
This emotion is very close to envy. There are such varieties as love, children”s, sports, creative, national, etc. But no matter how you feel about envy, it is by no means an independent phenomenon, but only one of the components of a warm loving feeling. The catalysts are the mutual uncertainty of the future man and woman (of both partners, in general, in our age everything is possible), their significance for each other and plans for the future. People with pathological ownership syndrome may experience an incessant desire to control literally every aspect of their spouse”s life. Here”s another story.
By the way, children who have experienced parental divorce, domestic violence, or difficult relationships between parents at an early age grow up with a special thorn in the head, which psychologists call the “jealousy mindset.” In fact, there is no point in blaming such “romantics”. It is almost impossible to eradicate what is imprinted on the brain at an early age. In this case, the partner is absolutely convinced of the sad consequences of betrayal and cheating, which makes it difficult to build relationships. Of course, he talks about it or mentions it regularly. This can allow his beliefs to become part of his reality.
Why are you jealous of him or her
Je psychology is not so simple, and not only because they admit to themselves that they have begun to doubt their relationships, but also because explaining this phenomenon is not as simple as one might think. It is difficult for a person to understand himself. He doubts his competitiveness, his ability to find a new companion/companion if that inevitable breakup occurs.
A person with obviously low self-esteem needs to compensate for lost feelings in order to receive constant attention and feel needed. If the explanation is simple, he wants it to be airtight for his partner, otherwise he becomes uncomfortable.
At the same time, the fear of loneliness, loss, uncertainty and helplessness creeps in, becoming like something they played and forgot. Moreover, one’s own pride (not pride) is woven into the common thread. No one has the right to betray me. vy Desire and selfishness complete the picture. At the moment, a person does not think about anyone but himself. His desire is placed above everything else, above all circumstances. He only takes and demands, and he does not have to give in return (in his opinion, this is the only correct opinion).
This and that: what kind of jealousy there is
Je has its own divisions with different characteristics. Each psychologist can provide his own version of this list, but in general it will be as follows:
Read also: Women”s jealousy in relationships with men. Why is she doing this?
People are rational, but they cannot escape their instincts. For animals, this is a natural and necessary process of protecting their territory. In the human world.
- Circulatory jealousy. The partner is not against going to the left and sleeping with a random stranger, but all this remains a secret from his other half. However, in his free time from work, they do not linger behind his back so that he is treated in the same way.
- Midlife crisis. Representatives of the fairer sex, who are already over 40, begin to sound the alarm in convenient (and not so convenient) cases. They look at themselves in the mirror (if there are no vision problems), notice athletic, fit girls on the street, and this hardly bothers 25 people. Doubt creeps into their heads with its charm, interest and decree. By the way, there is one main difference between these two floors: a 40-year-old man feels much cooler than a young student who collects money for Dushilak throughout the rally. At this stage, the peaceful idyll is disrupted. This happens because the wife is always incredibly tense and anticipates such a logical betrayal of her faithful husband.
- Discussion. It also happens that partners’ doubts are completely justified. Married couples can live happily together, respecting each other and taking into account everyone”s opinions, until one of this union mistakenly meets a new love, which accidentally brings up “new” feelings. Yes, things happen in life, but insurance rarely comes with it. In such a combination of circumstances, the most successful solution would be to speak directly about the situation, without starting to lead a double life.
Is this generally okay?
Almost all romance dramas on television literally promote the idea that having a je is tantamount to passionate feelings. This judgment is not entirely true, but few people delve into it. That is why the proportion of relationships in which half of the couple are pathological is growing. Girls frivolously believe that their boyfriend is an alpha protecting his wolf. Unfortunately, in reality everything goes wrong.
Jealousy — what is it? || types of jealousy and what to do when you are jealous 18+
Among other things, scientists identify the term “anticipatory delirium.” In simple terms, future betrayal is only in a person’s head, and not for any reason. It has reached the level of a sick imagination and is simply someone’s wildly overacted fantasy. This often combines with an exaggerated perception of reality and causes the poor soul to see white on black and realize a betrayal that never happened. By the way, this syndrome occurs mainly in men, but there are exceptions to the rule.
To summarize, we can only summarize that the feeling of jealousy itself is not a disease or medical condition if there are arguments or facts in favor of cheating. When a person is clearly unsure of himself, his worth and attractiveness, the brain begins to produce something that is difficult to even imagine. Here it is recommended to contact a psychologist and discuss the whole issue with him. An easy business expert can help you get out of the web of your own thoughts.
Do you believe it or not?
Yes, somewhere above it was said that love and jealousy are always next to each other, but this does not mean that these concepts are synonymous, and some people like to attract distrust here. In general, you need to understand the following. For clarity, consider the behavior of two pairs of pigeons in different situations:
- Parties.
- A man and a woman gathered for a corporate party. A woman calmly talks with colleagues about unimportant matters, learns about the news in their lives, her partner also does not waste time, finds interlocutors, conducts a conversation with restraint, maintains a friendly tone with others and does not worry about his significant other.
- The situation does not change at all, but while the wife is joking with her employee, the husband strongly interferes in the conversation and begins to behave not quite decently. Sometimes the conflict flares up at the same time, but in most cases the woman gets it when she returns home, while she slowly burns out watching what happens. So under what circumstances does mistrust arise?
- The working day has already ended, but the groom is not at home yet. The person he has chosen calmly calls him (or writes an SMS), finds out the reason for his delay, puts himself in his position and asks at what time he should start heating the food.
- A young man returns home late without warning. Currently, his girlfriend is dialing his boss to find out what time his lover left his post, and calling his colleagues to make sure they don”t talk to a “strange woman” during the day. When the workaholic himself arrives at his apartment, instead of a warm welcome and dinner, he receives a reprimand and scandal.
- The couple enjoys spending time together. They eat in restaurants, watch movies or go to birding clubs (everyone has their own preferences). If one of them does not share the interests of the other, this does not cause shouting or scandal, but is calmly taken for granted. If only the wife attends the boxing class, and the husband prefers to go to the pub with friends, no one will die.
- The couple spends absolutely all their free time together. There is nothing that only one of them can do. Their own interests and tastes have long since abandoned them, and meeting someone like an old acquaintance in a restaurant or a friend in a bar is tantamount to a tragic betrayal.
As you can see, the first “test subjects” do not experience any problems with trust or self-esteem. He doesn”t care that their interests are different or don”t always coincide. Everyone knows that their partner is a person whose rights cannot be violated. In the second case, there is unreasonable jealousy. Fear is not caused by anything and is not based on material evidence. One of them clearly wants to allocate every second of free and unlimited time. Advice:? Go to family therapy.
Obviously, there is not a single couple without a single disagreement, but this does not mean that people are not suitable for each other. You don”t have to work on every relationship, eliminate its shortcomings and delve into yourself in search of imaginary doubts. You need to discuss every juncture before diving into the seriousness of it all. As soon as all unnecessary attitudes are thrown out of your head, life will become much easier. Wouldn”t that make you happy?
