How to make your boyfriend want you again
Reddit users are looking for answers to the question: what will happen if men stop having sex? Only real advice from real girls!
Contents of the article:
“My boyfriend doesn’t want me!”
A girl with the nickname Firstthrowaway218 contacted a Reddit user with the following problem.
About a year ago, I started dating my boyfriend right after my 5 year relationship ended. I was happy, but I didn”t feel passion. Then I met my current boyfriend and immediately told him that passion and feeling wanted were very important to me in a relationship.
He hooked me, treated me like gold and showed me what it meant to be desired. We had sex two to four times a day and everything was great.
Now let”s move on to the present. We live together, but I”m starting to feel that the passion between us is weakening. I think it”s normal for her to disappear during the so-called “honeymoon” phase, but I feel like he doesn”t want to have sex with me anymore. Now I constantly have to initiate intimacy and often face rejection. I”m worried that I”m not enough for him and that I”m no longer arousing to him.
But as soon as I try to start a conversation with him on this topic, he begins to get annoyed. I”m afraid he doesn”t want to see me.
Yes, he always says that he loves me and my body, but I doubt that this is true because there is no action behind his words. And this has happened to me before, so maybe I”m just setting unrealistic expectations about it? What do you think? I really don”t know what to do.”
How to solve a problem — real advice from girls
- A detailed response to this message was given by a user with the nickname hennesseewilliams. This is what she told and advised the girl:
I don”t know how old you both are, but I know that young people often use this behavior as an entry point into a relationship. They show affection and attention to the girl, often have sex with her or give her gifts. But the difference is that for women, this behavior is part of the relationship.
All this turns out to be part of the honeymoon phase, but once the relationship strengthens and stabilizes, the man can stop doing this, and the girl continues. She sees this behavior as the basis of the relationship, and he sees it as his “price of entry.”
It is recommended that you sit down and have a long, frank conversation with your partner. The biggest problem here seems to be related to different levels of sexual desire. Start by asking if anything is affecting his interest in sex. Perhaps he is depressed? What are his feelings? Does he have any concerns? Does he feel stressed? Many people lose interest in sex when other problems arise in their lives.
Read also: 10 signs that your boyfriend is a sex addict
I love sex and want to have it as often as possible. However, there are limits to everything. When carnal love becomes addictive, it”s time to start sounding the alarm.
If talking to him doesn”t help, seriously consider emphasizing the importance of sex in the relationship. Sex is very important to me. If my partner”s sex drive is higher or lower than mine, our relationship is doomed because he is not willing to sacrifice his sexual health.
If you feel the same way, you should tell him so. “Hey, I really love you and I want to make our relationship better, but in order for me to be happy and satisfied, I think I need a partner who wants sex as often as I do.” Do you think this lack of interest is temporary? Or do I need to seriously think about whether we are getting closer to each other?
This is a difficult conversation, but sex matters in a relationship. Sexual dissatisfaction can cause resentment, anger and sadness. This can end the relationship if the problem is not resolved, in fact such problems are almost always resolved.
If he was previously interested in sex two to four times a day, chances are he is still interested in sex at least once a day. Sexual attraction, like physical attraction, does not change so sharply and suddenly. In other words, it most likely has nothing to do with you, but something to do with work, family issues, health, etc. The best thing you can do now is be patient and offer support to your partner, but if he refuses to have a meaningful adult conversation, your only option may be to end the relationship.”
“2-4 Needless to say, some couples find it difficult to have sex even once a day. We were told that sex is considered standard two to three times a week.
How to make a guy chase you!
Encourage the two people to look for other ways to spice up your relationship: sharing hobbies, interesting dates, etc. Have sex twice a week, but keep it long and varied — it”s how you both grow, it”s a good compromise.”
Similar advice came from a user under the nickname Notsoinsaneguy:
If you don”t understand his love for you and your body, it will almost certainly make sex undesirable for you too. When a person”s self-esteem is in crisis, having sex is not cool at all. So instead of asking your partner for sex, try boosting your self-esteem. For example, you can ask your partner out on a date. Ask for superb communal entertainment. It might revitalize not only your self-esteem, but also his passion!”
“I am all too familiar with this situation. My boyfriend became the same after the first year of our relationship.
We had different levels of sexual desire and different expectations from sex. For me, sex is intimacy and an indicator that my partner loves me. For him, entertainment, and even more important for him, were hugs and communication.
The solution in such situations is to talk, talk and talk again.
How often do you and he need sex? Find a compromise.
Do you want sex to happen naturally, with cuddling and kissing, or do you prefer it to be planned?
Are there things he”d like to try or things he doesn”t like about your sex?
Answer these questions to each other, and I believe that you will find the best solution that suits both of you!”
