Husband caught cheating — how to get away with it?

When getting married, everyone wants it to be forever, so that the marriage is beautiful and faithful. But it happens that people cheat on each other. What happens if you end up being the villain in the story? Answers from real people on Quora who have had similar experiences, plus advice from professional psychologists.

What do real people think?

• “So you want to know what to do because he found out? Or because you love him and are not going to do this again? Okay, here”s the ugly truth. You already know that life and your relationships will never be the same again, right?

You have been deceived, and it is up to you to fix it. Your husband will most likely send you to hell. He will ask you questions — even if he is angry, tell him everything they want to know. Phrases such as “you can’t treat me like that”, “I won’t survive this”, “you either trust me or you don’t” are prohibited. Your husband is injured and you can help him, but it will take a long time. Don”t think of it as just kissing ass when you were a real ass.” — T-Boogie

• “It’s simple: leave.

What can I say? You broke the solemn vow you made to the man you were supposed to love. You didn”t tell him about your relationship. You may have trouble establishing trust and close connection, and this is preventing you from improving the situation in your marriage. You allowed yourself to lie and risk harming a loved one for temporary personal satisfaction. This is what you did and it shows very clearly what kind of person you are. Your husband deserves better. Get out of his life immediately, release him from his vow and let him find someone who will truly love him.

• “I will try to answer this question to the best of my ability, and I am by no means a relationship expert.

If I were your husband, I would collect your things and throw them in a ditch. Once someone crosses this line, be it husband or wife, it is the end of the relationship. In fact, this suggests that there is no love and, of course, respect between you. Everything is just gone, you lied, there is no trust in the marriage, and trust cannot be restored. It”s simple.

Read also: My wife caught me cheating — how can I justify myself? basically, in a marriage, someone thinks that one day everything will lead to cheating on a certain side. But sometimes this really happens. And when is it.

Those who have been deceived will change again sooner or later, but next time they will be wiser. This goes without saying. These piles of crap can”t even be honest and talk about what”s wrong in the marriage and try to find a solution — they never do.Moreover, these piles of crap don”t want to kill the goose that lays the golden egg, especially if they have a good life and all the trappings that come with it. Therefore, the most honest and right thing to do is to leave home and let your husband find someone better.” — David Nicoll

• Please be honest with your husband about how this happened. He deserves to know. Be open, honest and patient as you listen to him. Whether your marriage is saved or not, he will have a hard time trusting you again. At the end of the day, you are the one who decided to change, so be an adult and take responsibility.” — Latrice Dow, sociologist

The man you cheated with may not be the one you”d be with long-term, but he”s the one you chose over your husband. So instead of crying and asking for forgiveness, why not look inside yourself and ask if you can remain faithful for the rest of your marriage, starting today? Most likely not. If yes, then you should get a divorce so that both you and your husband can find true happiness. Don”t stick to the past. Don”t dream about what marriage should be like. Reality is what is in front of you now.We all make mistakes, we”re all human, but cheating isn”t fair, so do the right thing.” — Frankie Louise, fitness trainer

What do psychologists think?

As you can see, people tend to be very judgmental and believe that it is impossible to stay married after infidelity. They can be understood. However, if you want to truly believe that this will never happen again, follow these guidelines:

• Think about it: do you really want to save your marriage?

Perhaps the feeling of guilt is tormenting you now: you offended someone you love or once loved, and you were also caught in this, and you are ready to do anything to stop experiencing these painful feelings. But try to objectively evaluate your marriage. There must have been a reason why you decided to cheat. If your husband agrees to continue the relationship, will these reasons go away? Perhaps not, perhaps they will intensify even more. Because now he seems to have a “good reason” to be angry with you. In the end, betrayal can simply be stupidity, a random impulse, drunken enthusiasm. But it can also be a serious symptom indicating that something is wrong in the relationship. So, do you really want to stay in this marriage?

• Answer his questions. Tell me honestly how it happened and why you changed. Avoid graphic details: he probably already imagines what happened quite vividly, don’t give food to his imagination, it will cause him pain.

Be honest about your feelings for the person you cheated on, whether you are ready to leave them or continue to love them. Tell me your intentions, are you ready to be faithful or are you ready to try to save your marriage.