Non-binary people, or genderqueers—who are they and how should we relate to them? Advice from a sexologist
The LGBT community, coming out, pickets, gender identity, tolerance, hatred. Sexism and feminism.
Contents of the article:
We know who gays, lesbians, and bisexuals are—we already understand these terms more or less. But how well do you understand gender issues? Non-binary People — What Do They Look Like, How Do They Live, and Who Do They Feel?
Terminology
Non-binary gender (GenderWir) is a spectrum of gender identity that is not exclusively female or male. In other words, people who have not been victimized may identify as:
- Having two or more genders (being vikrigorous or trigender)
- No gender (agent, non-industry, incomplete, or asexual)
- Moving between floors, changing gender identity (sex), etc.
Gender identity is separate from sexual or romantic orientation, and non-violent people have many sexual orientations and are cisgender. Cisgender people are people whose gender self-identification matches their biological sex. In other words, they are men who are comfortable with being men, and women who are comfortable with being female.
Frankly
People tend to make mistakes and jump to conclusions. This is harmful. to anyone who is different from the majority in some way. So, let the non-military community speak up. “When people see me or hear my name, they usually assume I”m a woman and use the pronoun /she/. However, they will only be partially correct. I do identify as a woman, but I identify as a rather unspectacular individual. Unfortunately, it”s an identity that many people still don”t understand.
Aida Mandri is a sexologist and educator specializing in common diseases. He defines them as “not identifying as male or female, or as only one of these genders.” Where they are identical, the broader concept is used. The term “not a lottery” has different meanings to different people. For me personally, this means that I reject the concept of gender as a whole. Throughout my childhood, people called me a girl. I never felt like they were wrong about my gender. However, I felt like I was being labeled, which didn”t sit well with me. At university I learned more about non-queerness. Of course, I have several tastes and preferences. It is usually considered “masculine” or “feminine”. But there is no need to hang these labels. I feel trapped in the gender binary and I don”t like it. Below is a list of misconceptions about people who are not picky. All of them are taken from my personal experience and the experiences of others.
Non-binary misconceptions
- There is no such thing as a “non-naval look.”
Most people understand that you don”t have to wear a dress to be a cisgender woman. Likewise, you are not required to wear pants and be considered a cisgender man.
But at the same time, people are convinced that non-combatants need to wear an androgynous style. They believe that if they dress me (or any other gender queer person), then I consider myself a woman. The truth is that you don”t get to decide how you see someone who considers themselves to be. Therefore, it is very important to ask. My dream is for people to stop calling me feminine based on how I look. We need to stop judging gender based on appearance, says 19-year-old Kelly Cantrell. I have long hair and I feel like a woman. But that doesn”t change the fact that I”m non-binary. Gendered people have gender-specific appearance features. There”s no particular way to “look nonbinary,” agrees 24-year-old Alaina Leary.
- Being non-binary doesn”t mean you don”t have different gender identities
Some people consider themselves to be both gender-specific, male or female, transgender, etc. I identify as a non-binary woman. To me, this means that I do not have a natural gender, but I have been socialized as a woman. “Multiple Gender Identities” means different things to different people. For example, 24-year-old Rae Noble identifies as both genderqueer and female. In other words, she loves her female body, but doesn”t always feel like it accurately represents her as a person. We use different pronouns. Sometimes it”s they/them, sometimes she/he, and some use all pronouns at once. How do you know what personal pronouns someone prefers to use? Ask them. Some people use them fluently. all kinds of pronouns Others have strict preferences and enforce them Ewan, 21, doesn”t really like it when people use the wrong pronouns for him.
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It causes me real physical pain,” Ewen says.
- “We are not all intersex, transgender or who people think we are.
There are several misconceptions about us. Some people equate nonbinary people with intersex—people born with gender characteristics that do not typically correspond to male or female. However, being non-binary has nothing to do with biology. Yes, intersex people can be non-binary. But these can also be non-intersex people. Non-binary people are often also referred to as transgender, i. e. people who self-identify as a gender other than the one they were assigned at birth. Some members of the non-binary community have no problem identifying as transgender.
- Non-binary identification is not a passing fad or trend
People have become accustomed to being transgender. It”s easy to explain that some people are used to being a gender other than the one they were born with. But everything in between or on the other side of the gender spectrum remains difficult to understand. “People ask me what it’s like, but when I tell them it’s very individual and there are no general rules, they don’t listen,” says Ewan. Many still think of non-binary identity as a fad and “a product of Tumblr.” Non-binary identity is not a trend or a phase. And it’s been that way for thousands of years.
- Not everyone experiences the feeling of being “born in the wrong body.”
People tend to equate non-binary identity with transgenderism and therefore believe that we are prone to feeling “other.” For some non-binary people, this is true. However, it’s not for everyone. Personally, I don’t believe I was born in the wrong body. I think people label me with genders that don’t fit me. And this happened because they were relying on inaccurate ideas about my body. My non-binary identity is not “chemistry.” It reflects my disagreement with existing ideas about gender. People with People with non-binary status experience a certain amount of pressure. Society pushes them toward a more familiar, traditional “binary” self-definition. As a result, genderqueer people feel depressed and empty. They feel like they”re doing something wrong by refusing to choose one gender or another.
However, many non-binary individuals live in harmony with themselves. They”ve simply gotten used to the idea that their gender is more complex than that of men or women.
- Non-binary doesn”t require you to be “masculine” or “feminine.”
I want people to understand that non-binary doesn”t mean you”re “50% man, 50% woman.” We all identify as male and female to some degree. This can change from time to time. Some people don”t differentiate between masculinity and femininity at all, says Kay Bash. “It”s impossible to say how masculine or feminine someone is. Masculinity and femininity are labels that people place on each other. Femininity in one What”s considered masculine in one culture is considered masculine in another, and vice versa. There”s nothing right about this.
- Non-binary identity requires no proof.
I felt like a fraud—I talk about being nonbinary, but I act the same way I do when I identify as a woman. I wear the same clothes and act the same. The very topic of non-binary that I discussed, I only discussed with a few people — I didn”t talk about it with anyone. Your non-binary status shouldn”t be a problem. You don”t have to behave in any special way. You don”t have to leave or change. The bottom line is that your gender is your own problem. It doesn”t matter who you think you are. If you are confident in your gender identity, you are right. You can”t be wrong.
Being non-binary is not as difficult or problematic as it may seem. “It”s very strange that we can”t move beyond the guidelines that society has placed on us. Non-binary is a term that includes everything that has meaning to you. It”s something you create for yourself,” Noble says.
- It”s not very politically correct to know this, but it is necessary.
Why is it so important to abandon imposed stereotypes, educate yourself and try to understand non-binary people? Because by accepting and respecting this, we become good friends, partners, family members and just good people. People who do not identify outside their birth gender have difficulty understanding non-binary and transgender ideas. But the ability to accept the fact that everyone is different and lives differently is a quality that all people need. We have to support each other,” says Ewan.
Through the eyes of cisgender people
“In order to learn to understand people with different worldviews, cultures, sexual orientations and genders, you need a desire to do this. Empathy is a useful skill. It”s even necessary. The ability to see a situation through someone else”s eyes can save you a lot of trouble when interacting with straight, binary, and cisgender people. If you can accept that your worldview may be incomplete, you can more easily absorb new information and expand your horizons.
If you are completely happy with your body, it is a great blessing. Of course, people who dress and act in ways that don”t quite match their genitals cause us surprise and bewilderment. And surprise and bewilderment often work together with fear and denial. This means getting used to the fact that not all women want men and not all men want women. As a result, aggression and persecution lead nowhere. Being gay doesn”t make it natural. What is natural does not make a person gay. Cisgender people are not registered as gender queer, etc. It is very stupid to shout that everything that is happening is the madness of the current generation. If you are seriously convinced that there will be no gays, lesbians or bisexuals in the world until the 21st century, then you clearly have not delved into world history.
We don”t need to align ourselves with the LGBTQ community. But if we accept the fact that changing people to our standards is a stupid and pointless exercise, then we have time and energy for what is really important. We can argue endlessly about the normality and abnormality of certain people. But is it worth spending time on this? One person”s freedom ends where another person”s freedom begins. So as long as the non-brother isn”t trying to set his pants on fire or cover the floor with his passport, he can relax.
