4 main phases that sex goes through in a long-term relationship
The four stages — fusion, addiction, experimentation and falling in love — are the main stages of sex that all couples go through when entering into a strong long-term relationship.
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All intimate relationships are believed to progress reliably from the first meeting (when attraction is heady) through a series of small trials and tribulations, eventually reaching a state of “hot, long, passionate, happy” bliss. This is a satisfactory and acceptable result that can be seen in films, music, the Internet and television in general. However, in reality, a relationship involving intense sexual intimacy is a journey without a final destination.
It is foolish to expect men and women (or men and men, women and women) to look back on some unknown moments of connection between them, remember all the obstacles they overcame, and say: “Forgive me, forgive me.” “That’s it, that’s it. In the end, we sorted out all the difficulties, reached mutual understanding and assessed everyone’s preferences and desires.
We did it. Now we can safely enjoy each other”s company without embarrassment or pointless awkwardness. Why? It”s simple: beyond one stage, the next stage is hidden, which is full of obstacles and difficulties.
Simply put, the stages that sex goes through in a long-term relationship are not linear, but cyclical. Couples who reach the so-called “final” stage eventually return to the first stage and slowly progress to the second.
The first stage is “merger”
The first phase that sex in a relationship goes through is fusion, which is also the honeymoon phase. This is the first exciting stage that couples who have just started dating often experience. Each partner is ready to spend time together. Their sex is insatiably passionate and full of all-consuming pleasure.
Often people at this stage of a relationship feel like they have found their “perfect match” — someone who is eerily similar to them and 100% compatible. They feel like they always want to be together and just want each other. All boundaries are erased, and the lovers seem to literally merge into one, or at least try to merge.
Overwhelming emotions are often drowned out by the rational part of the brain. In fact, research shows that the initial phase is characterized by biochemical changes in the brain. This is a cocktail of hormones that trigger and maintain a state of love and restless desire (for example, dopamine, oxytocin, endorphins). By the way, during this period, “dependence” on the partner usually arises and he begins to ignore the possibility of incompatibility, danger signals or other third-party problems.
Thus, the first phase has the following features:
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During a candy bouquet, sex is very exciting and stimulating. They want to do it anytime and anywhere. These magical feelings seem to exist.
- All-consuming love.
- An ambitious desire to always be there.
- Pleasure, happiness and amazing (we think) fun filled with sex.
The second stage is “habituation”
The second stage that sex in a relationship goes through is addiction. This is the stage when we finally begin to realize the difference between ourselves and our partner. We emerge from the trance of falling in love and realize with horror that those qualities that once seemed ideal no longer cause an irresistible “wow” effect.
His kindness now seems tiresome. She wants to stop her vicious thoughts in order to enjoy peace and tranquility. The roughness of his movements and thrusts is depressing. Her adventurous nature seems like an unnecessary risk. And this list can be continued endlessly.
And unfortunately, it is natural that friction arises as soon as they encounter each other”s differences. Power struggles intensify, misunderstandings increase due to unwillingness to listen, and we are surprised by changes in our partners. The feeling of being in love and unbridled happiness is mixed with a feeling of alienation and exhaustion. Suddenly there comes a moment when our thoughts move on to the next question.
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Thus, the second phase serves the following functions:
The third stage is “experiments”
The third phase, which sex goes through in a relationship, is experimentation. This phase is a turning point. Emotional and physical dissatisfaction, sex for the sake of sex (rather than for the sake of spending time together filled with intense emotions), a reluctance to return home “on time,” and a slight infatuation with another person—all these are common. Indifference and isolation could perhaps be added to this list. We reach a stage where we derive more pleasure from regular masturbation than from sex with a partner. This is where we make radical changes or consider how to approach a compelling new beginning with a new person.
The first option is chosen by most because spiritual union with a loved one takes precedence over physical pleasure. There are previously unexplored areas associated with endless experimentation that can help diversify your sex life. This phase can transition into the next if both partners are willing to maintain and improve what they currently have with each other.
Thus, the third stage has the following characteristics.
The fourth stage is the “falling in love” phase.
The fourth stage is the phase of “falling in love”
In the fourth stage, the couple may still face some obstacles, but the difference is that everyone knows there”s nothing wrong with awkward conversations and no longer feels threatened or attacked.
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