Does love exist after a one-night stand, and what to do with the feelings?
Love after casual sex often arises. And don”t think that only young women with romantic inclinations fall into this trap. Serious, bearded gentlemen fall in love too. It”s worth checking out the group with stories; there should be some rugged men there looking for casual acquaintances from a club to continue their relationships.
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From a biochemical perspective, it all makes perfect sense. The couple had sex and released serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin, but not too much. Hormones make you fall in love with anyone, even casual acquaintances, right? But are these feelings real?
Cheat sheet for casual sex
Yes, we live in an era where neural networks predict desires, and advertising adapts to the user. However, we can”t always precisely articulate our dreams. Here, a girl goes to a club, dances, meets people, and has fun without commitment. But in her head, a refrain rings:
- All my friends have been in long-term relationships.
- Some of them are married.
- They have children.
- I don”t want to get married, have children, and go clubbing until I”m old.
Let”s say she meets a nice guy and goes fishing with him. In the morning, the woman wakes up in her and quickly makes a cheesecake while the man relaxes. But when he opens his eyes, the romantic scene in the kitchen is gone. The gentleman says “thank you” and calls a taxi for the lady.
Or he wants to heal his wounds after a long separation from his wife. He”s heading to a concert where like-minded people are supposed to hang out. They certainly don”t scold the post-punk for always playing at home, nor do they criticize his choice of T-shirt for strolling the streets. At the concert, he meets some girls, and they go to his place. In the morning, he happily eats pancakes and exchanges contact information, but notices that the girl has left after eating the last two sausages in the fridge.
What”s at stake in both stories? That”s why their heroines aren”t looking for a one-night stand. And you”re more likely to fall in love with a stranger at a club. They often ask about love and relationships. Sex on the first date, or instead of a first date, is usually against the rules.
The main rules of sex without commitment: no creepy crush on the part of the partner, no exchange of contact information, no lengthy correspondence, no dates and no expectations of a relationship.
One loves, the other takes advantage
This is the most painful thing. This is a typical situation when one of the partners is inexplicably in love and is ready for something, and the other drops in once a month between his wife and his official mistress after the bath.
Does love happen after sex in this case? If a person takes his partner for granted and doesn”t try to change anything in his life, there is little chance that thunder will strike, the heavens will open, or the curly-haired boy will hit him with the big hammer of love.
Read also: Where to find a girl for one night sex and what to expect from them?
Dating right away is the scourge of our time. Modern sexually liberated people do not want a permanent relationship, preferring to look for one meeting with.
In such relationships, “dislike” prevails, and he relates to this. He loves control, but I want to warm myself with the “fire” of someone else”s love. Perhaps he or she is attracted to a partner, kindness or beauty in a young person. However, this may not develop into a serious emotional basis for a relationship. Once something resembling a classic couple is tied together, the “adored” person has both rights and responsibilities. Such comrades and friends flee precisely from duty to a connection with a hopeless lover.
Mikhail Litvak writes that the relationship works. But you need to work where there are relationships. In this case, a painful connection arises, which gradually destroys the character of the “unloved” partner.
Mistress and someone else”s husband
Serious relationships after sex — yes or no?
- The mistress begins to perceive the situation as standard, they don’t understand the man at home, they don’t care about him, they don’t have sex with him at the first call, and if they do (about fear), they think about their satisfaction, and not about 20 ways of fellatio.
- She literally surrounds herself with a “crown of the Savior” of unfortunate lost husbands and fathers. She begins to put herself above other women, and her character changes. You can find many blogs of lovers where they contrast their wives, saying that I am young, handsome and good, and you are not so good.
- This circle of communication is very blurred. Girlfriends who suggest that it would be nice to leave your precious alien husband alone, find a normal, free man and get out of disgrace. If her parents have the right to approve, they aren”t happy either.
- She becomes vulnerable, like all unrecognized queens. Constant “external adjustment” for better replacement of research and work. The girl does not try to meet people with whom she can start a relationship. It seems to her that there is only one step — she and the stranger move from sex to love.
Over time, it is precisely such a mistress and “old wife” who destroys herself and tries to find salvation in Mexican corpses, or breeding domestic alcoholics, or plastic surgery, and at least try to revive the butt, if she masters it, some key asset for this.
Important: If a loved one finds himself in the situation of “the most beloved woman,” you should not “educate” him. He needs to be carefully taken to a professional psychologist. He can then gently guide her to the realization that a one-sided relationship is not a road to nowhere.
Bitchy men
In the early 2000s, a book for women by the writer Evgenia Shatskaya was popular, in which she wrote: “In the early 2000s, women in a relationship with a man were taught that they should not be a bitch. They taught them to be bitches. In other words, they taught them to reproduce their ingenuous cravings with men and use their ingenuous cravings for their own benefit. These books reflect the whole essence of some modern “relationships.” Girls want profit and are ready to draw love with anyone, even within a family with children. But the goal is always the same — stability, money and comfort, and not sincere relationships.
Men find themselves in the position of walking ATMs with additional functions without realizing it. When the relationship ends, they curse themselves for confusing love and good sex, and stop believing in the latter.
It is better for all those wounded in a relationship to consult a psychologist or take a break from playing on the family strings for a while and try to find a partner and do other things. After the “pause” the opportunity to find love or whatever you want instead becomes greater.
