How men lose their virginity: the guys talked about their first experience
What do you know about men”s sexual desires and experiences? Of course, not as much as we would like. This is not surprising, since most articles about sexuality are of interest only to women. To help restore justice, the British publication Metro collected stories about the loss of virginity.
Contents of the article:
Answers to difficult questions
- How many years have you lost your virginity and under what circumstances? Were you dating anyone at the time?
Mark: I was 17 years old when I lost my virginity. I remember I had just returned home when the film was already playing. My girlfriend was hanging out with her friend and didn’t go to the movie with me, so we met at my house. They stretched a little and then went to bed.
Stu: It happened when I was 17 years old. Then I met a girl who became my companion. We met as ordinary friends, quickly changed a lot and after a few weeks we already started dating. We spent a few more months just kissing and cuddling on the corner and decided it was time. The problem was the summer holidays, which we had to spend with us, because my mother worked as a teacher and was always at home during this time.
Stuart: Then I played for a few months at the age of 18. That day, my girlfriend and her dad and dad went to a college open day, but we didn’t stay there long because I didn’t really want to go there. As a result, we returned home and everything happened there. I felt the moment had arrived.
James: I was 13 years old and my first sex was on a park bench. I didn’t expect this myself, but the girl we were walking with insisted. She was actually older than me and I think she was just bored.
Matt: I was 17 and it was at my house. I slept with a girl I”d been dating for a few months. Not particularly.
Alex: I lost my virginity at 21 in my third year at university. At that time, I had been in a relationship for about a year, but nothing had happened before that. First we wanted to get to know each other better before moving on to anything serious.
- Are you nervous for the first time? What was it like?
Stu: We were both very nervous, but the process itself was very exciting. She was very soft. We tried a few different positions and I remember she was very nervous when she finished. I was so worried about it that I kept asking her if she was okay. Of course, this spoiled my mood a little. But it was still comfortable, and after my girlfriend said she was done, I was able to relax and orgasm.
After sex we cuddled for a long time and then went back to it. In fact, the most exciting moment was when we bought condoms. For some reason I felt like I was doing something forbidden.
Alex: Internally I was so worried! It was the first time for both of us, and it was all very unusual. Probably because I decided that my first sex would only be with someone who was really important to me.
Stewart: Oh yeah. It was my first time in my life, and I didn’t really know what to do or how I would feel. There were also “quirks” that I needed to endure as long as possible! I bought special condoms for this and reduced the sensitivity. Now I understand that this is a bad idea. They didn”t let me finish for a long time, my girlfriend started to worry that she wasn”t doing enough, and the whole process was uncomfortable.
James: I wasn”t worried until it got to the actual process. Everything became very fast, rumpled and as awkward as possible. I don”t think she liked it, but I”m sure she was disappointed. Now it seems to me that it is still very early to lose my virginity.
Mark: My girlfriend did everything she could to make me feel comfortable and not make me nervous. I remember looking so cool (or seemed so cool) when I took a condom out of my purse and threw it on the bed next to her. It was exciting, but never alarming.
Matt: I was nervous! My girlfriend was no longer innocent, she had lost her ex and her virginity. And naturally, it seemed necessary to me to surpass him. So, as you know, I set the bar pretty high for myself.
This was the first time she stayed with me all night. In fact, because we had been friends for a long time, the setting was completely unnecessary. But sex itself was still difficult. Mainly because I always wondered if she was comparing me to her ex.
- Was losing your virginity important to you? Have you, as a man, felt some pressure to lose it?
STU: There was no pressure among my peers. Nobody said you were tough enough to lose your virginity. I did this with my loved ones when I thought I needed it.
STU: There was pressure. I studied at a mixed boarding school, but the dormitories were separate. Imagine being around people who pride themselves on having sex 24/7. Of course, I was jealous and ashamed! I won’t say that after these stories I ran to take her virginity, but subconsciously it probably influenced my decision.
Alex: It was very important, I didn’t have anyone! I always believed that the first time should be special, with the one you love. Perhaps this is why I never had the desire to run after everyone in order to sleep with someone else.
Read also: Is women”s virginity important to men?
What is virginity? For some, this was initially embedded in personal principles, but for others, it has long been no longer relevant. But what do men think about her?
Matt: In my case, the pressure was just enormous. Because, for reasons unknown to my friend and me, our friends were sure that we were no longer virgins. I don”t know why they got it. I did not lie about my experience, although I did not refute the assumptions of others. Perhaps it was because I acted confidently. Plus, I looked so athletic and flirted like a god!
Of course, my Don Juan fame was far from the truth, but my girlfriend found out the truth after our first sex. As we chatted and lay in bed after all this, she admitted that she was very worried. I don”t know how relieved she was when she found out she was the first.
- Do you want to lose your virginity right away or have you been waiting for the right person?
Stu: I remember we were in more of a hurry to lose our virginities back then. Many of them dated men, especially older, more experienced men, in order to have sex faster.
Mark: Of course, I wanted to lose my virginity as quickly as possible, but that was not my main goal. Besides, I wanted to do this with my loved one so that our sex would be as enjoyable as possible.
Stewart: I wanted to wait for the right person, someone I could love and care about. In fact, the girl I ended up losing my virginity to fit that description perfectly.
Matt: Both. Like other men, I wanted to try sex as soon as possible out of pure curiosity and because I wanted to finally show off in front of my friends. But it so happened that I had sex for the first time with a girl for whom I had strong feelings and whom I dated for several years.
- Do you think losing virginity is as important for men as it is for girls? Why do you think so?
Stu: I think there”s a lot of stigma these days against having sex for the first time. That is, if you are a man, you must lose your virginity as soon as possible, otherwise you are not considered a man. But for girls the situation is exactly the opposite. You slept around until you became an adult or until you got married. Only then are you guaranteed to be labeled a whore.
I think this is wrong. All people, regardless of gender, should be able to enjoy sex. However, information in the media is still presented this way. We can only grind our teeth at such injustice.
Stewart: I think so. Although it largely depends on who you ask. I know girls who don”t consider losing their virginity something supernatural. In an equal society, this is exactly the same event for both boys and girls. Personally, I try not to attach too much importance to virginity.
Matt: No, I don”t think so. But in our world, there are many expectations associated with first sex. Men are expected to be experienced and emotionless. And for girls, on the contrary, it’s better to choose a first partner, etc. with full responsibility.
Alex: It doesn”t matter to me whether you are a virgin boy or a virgin girl. They are equally important. Every person has equal rights and control over their own body.
How do guys lose their virginity?
Stu: Guys need to brag about their sexual exploits to their friends, but don”t want to share those feelings often. For girls it”s different. Society expects a lot from them. They have to look a certain way, act a certain way, etc. And for men, all expectations come down to watching pornography. They expect anal sex, oral sex, facial ejaculation, etc.
Stewart: I think men and women experience virginity differently. It”s like the ratio to the number of partners. If you are a guy and you have a lot of girls, you are great and you can even celebrate it, but if you are a girl and you have at least two guys, society throws slop at you and sees you as a girl of easy virtue.
It”s the same with virgins. The man quickly lost his innocence, he is a handsome man. But if this is a girl, then only censure awaits her. And this is just a disgusting approach.
Matt: If a man is still a virgin, he is an unattractive loser to everyone. If his first sex was at a young age and since then he has had many partners, then in a social sense he is almost apolitical.
With girls everything is much more complicated and much more unfair. If a girl maintains her innocence for a long time, she is boring, uptight and generally extremely cold. However, if she loses her virginity too early, she becomes too available. Like it or not, the gap between men and women is only widening due to these stereotypes.
- Do you regret losing your virginity this way? Would you change anything? If so, what exactly?
Stu: Luckily, I don”t regret anything. I lost my virginity at the right time with the right person. I wouldn”t change a thing, except maybe my endless questions about whether my girlfriend is over it or not. But it”s important to know! Otherwise, what pleasure can I get from sex with my loved one?
Stuart: As a rule, I don”t regret anything in my life. I believe that everything that happens is a lesson of some kind. However, if I had the opportunity, I would probably buy regular condoms instead of these special ones.
James: Honestly, I don”t really care how I lost her virginity. If I want to change something, then I only know my skills in bed, but I want to be a real stud, not a helpless puppy.
Matt: No, no regrets. Unless I get rid of some sort of macho image. There was too much pressure on me and my girlfriend.
Mark: I don”t regret anything! It was the best first experience. Mainly thanks to my girlfriend and her ability to create the right atmosphere, everything went exactly as I had imagined. Seriously, I wouldn”t change a thing even if I had the chance.
Alex: I don”t regret anything. Because my first time made me feel needed and loved. It was a very difficult time in my life, and this experience helped me maintain hope. I wouldn”t trade it for anything.
- What advice would you give to someone who hasn”t yet lost their virginity?
James: I don”t think there”s much value in losing your virginity.
STU: What can I say? If you want your first experience to be unforgettable, find “the right” person, fall in love with them, and wait for the right moment. If she truly loves you, she”ll feel good just from the feeling of intimacy. Besides, girls are just as nervous and worried about the same things. Just enjoy it.
Matt: For heaven”s sake, don”t lie about your previous sexual experiences! Trust that you”re only interfering the first time. Go with the flow and don”t try to use pornography as a guide. Real sex doesn”t work at all!
Stuart: Don”t give in to pressure from friends or society to lose your virginity. Wait for the right moment and the right person to meet. Yes, sex is great, but you know, with someone you love, it”s so much better.
Alex: The best advice is to treat your girlfriend with love and respect. Take the time to get to know her first and try to make it special. After all, this is a big deal for her, and she”s not just nervous.
