Make your sex life better with a sex surrogate
Doctors often recommend sex as a way to treat several medical conditions; from a simple cold to something as serious as depression. But what if a disability prevents you from having sex? In this article
- What is a sex surrogate?
- Can a surrogate mother be classified as a “sex worker”?
- What happens during a sex surrogate therapy session?
- How much does a sex surrogate therapy session cost?
- Ethical issues when working with a sex surrogate
- Final thoughts
The answer can be found through sexual surrogate therapy. Sex surrogate therapy or intimate partner therapy sounds so new, but technically it isn”t. In this article, we answer what it is, what happens during a sex surrogate therapy session, how much it costs, and what the ethical implications of working with a sex surrogate are.
What is a sex surrogate?
Sexual surrogacy or sexual partner therapy (SPT) is a therapy developed by William H. Masters and Virginia E. Johnson, as detailed in their book Human Sexual Inadequacy, published in 1970. The surrogate mother is considered a “specialist” in sex. These are professional individuals certified by the International Professional Surrogacy Association (IPSA) who interact with their clients and work on their needs regarding sexual dysfunction.
They often help people with disabilities when it comes to intimate and sexual activities.
Their clients may be paralyzed if they have not had sex for a long time because of their disability; people with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) who have been traumatized by intimacy with another person on an emotional and physical level; or people who have not been with a man or woman before due to their own personal intimacy issues. The work of a sex surrogate is described in detail in an article published on HuffPost. In one of her accounts, Kendra Holliday helped a transman who was using his penis for the first time. Kendra also had a lesbian client who needed help accepting her body image in order to be successful sexually. Kendra also said she works with couples to resolve their own intimacy issues. Before receiving a referral to a sex surrogate, a therapist (who may be a psychologist or sex therapist) will work with clients to first discuss their concerns. You will not usually be referred directly unless the problem can be resolved through counselling. One way to think about the process is to first see a GP and then get a referral to a specialist. Another way to think about the process is that the therapist or counselor will make the diagnosis, and the sex surrogate will take a more current approach. They are professional extensions of sex therapists who provide therapy beyond the scope of a sex therapist.
Can a surrogate mother be classified as a “sex worker”?
Taken literally, a sex surrogate works as a “sex worker,” but the work a sex surrogate does should not be taken lightly. I would like to emphasize that a surrogate mother is a kind of professional therapist who works in partnership with a psychologist. Together they will work to solve their clients” problems regarding sex; be it achieving an erection, orgasm, or anything else that bothers the client sexually.
What happens during a sex surrogate therapy session?
If we”ve piqued your curiosity about what happens during a therapy session, it is essentially a counseling session that involves the body. A typical therapy session lasts between six and eight sessions. Part of this is because there is intimacy involved. If the number exceeds the prescribed number, it may cause attachment between the client and the surrogate mother. The exact description of how a sex therapy session works was detailed by the late poet Mark O”Brien in his essay entitled: “Meeting a Sex Surrogate” Published in The Sun Magazine in 1990. This insightful essay also served as inspiration for a 2012 film called The Sessions, starring Helen Hunt and John Hawkes. In the aforementioned essay, Mark O”Brien told us how a sex surrogacy therapy session works. After seeing a licensed therapist, the client will be referred to a sex surrogate. The first thing the surrogate and client do during a typical sex therapy session is to perform “body awareness exercises.” This includes exploratory touches for the client and surrogate. One session can last a maximum of one to two hours. From the initial “exercises to body awareness” they will move on to more complex therapies depending on the issues their client needs to address.
How much does a sex surrogate therapy session cost?
Depending on your location, a therapy session with a sex surrogate can range from $100 to $200 per hour. According to Kendra Holliday”s website, her services can cost $120 per hour. Therapy sessions can be a little expensive, but the benefits that can be gained from successful therapy can last a lifetime.
Ethical issues when working with a sex surrogate
The reason why this type of therapy is very controversial is because of all the ethical issues it raises. Some of them:
- Direct use of the client by the practitioner.
- Possible direct influence of a registered sex therapist referring a surrogate and allowing the client to undergo intimate partner therapy.
- The intrusion of the therapist”s personal values into the client”s values.
Final thoughts
There are various reasons why any type of sex therapy is controversial. However, the benefits, if successful, will not only improve a person”s sex life, but can also impact other aspects of their life. Improving your sex life can improve the quality of your relationships and even your work productivity. By truly connecting with their sexual self and learning more about their own sexuality, one may simply discover parts of themselves that they never knew about before.
