The guy is hinting at sex, but I”m not ready. What to do?
o?
Representatives of the stronger sex often perceive refusal of sex as a personal shame. picture of their world and is an important and integral part of the relationship. And sometimes relationships are not needed at all.
Contents of the article:
If you want to stay in a relationship and don”t want to hurt a man”s vulnerable ego, you need to choose the right words to say no.
Reasons for polite refusal
Let”s say you meet a person you really like. He begins to make obvious hints at reconciliation: for him, this is a logical development of your relationship. But you are not ready to move to this new level.
At the same time, you really don”t want to lose his advances. How can you delay a moment of intimacy without pushing it away? First of all, explain why.
Some of them may be as follows:
- You”re not ready because you”re a virgin.
You don”t have to hide the fact that you haven”t had a relationship with a man yet. This should be said right away. Silence may not work to your advantage. For example, imagine it like this: “I haven’t had sex with a man yet, so I need time to decide to take such a step.”
- You need to get used to your partner.
It”s normal if you need time to get better with your new man. If sexual relations are an important step for you, tell us directly. For example, “I need to get used to you, understand everything and feel ready.”
Speak softly, kindly and confidently. If a man has feelings, he will not rush to crush you.
- I don”t want to be distracted by romantic experiences.
If you have already had sexual relations with a man, but do not want to engage in them again, you should also be upfront about this. For example: “Now I have a lot of problems. And I don’t want to ruin the romance with my experiences and problems.”
You can also submit the refusal in this form. “I want to do the best I can, but now is not the best time.”
Main failure mistakes
The biggest mistake is to offend a man and refuse. But even worse, if you want something more, then you will be marinated for a long time.
There are many wrong actions that should not be done:
- Gently rejecting too much. A man may simply not take your words seriously.
- It”s hard to refuse. Your “no” should sound like “no.” But there is no need to be rude and bashful.
- Flirt or make advances at the moment when you express your refusal. Even if you do it unconsciously, all your efforts will go down the drain.
- You say phrases like “I don’t know,” “we’ll see,” and “maybe.” In this way, you are only giving the person false hope.
Try to get to know your boyfriend better before saying no, especially if you”re sure he doesn”t want intimacy. And if I decided that he is not your future man, there is no need to delay.
Read also: Ex-boyfriend wants sex: what to do?
It”s not as uncommon as it seems when a former lover reappears in a woman”s life with an “interesting” proposal. What if he was the initiator?
How to refuse sex if you”re not ready
The correct wording of a refusal is a very delicate issue. I would keep my nerves a secret from myself and others.
You need to remember two rules
- Severe failure can lead to completely unpredictable reactions.
If you appreciate a man, but are not ready to have sex with him, it is better to present your “no” carefully and gently. However, if you no longer intend to maintain communication, your measures will need to be more stringent.
Therefore, you have several opt-out options.
Irreversible and tough
A difficult no is as hard as a no. Often men can perceive refusal as flirtatiousness and recognize an attempt to attract attention. If a man is your friend, classmate or colleague, you should not visit him or call him yourself.
Such visits can provide hope and hint that the answer will ultimately be positive. If you must meet, the meeting place should be public and human.
Do not flirt with him without showing signs of attention in response to an unequivocal refusal. It should be as cold as possible. No hint that the person does not understand (or simply does not want to understand). There is a chance that he will understand your behavior in anticipation of positive action on his part.
What to do if a man hints at sex?
Soft but effective
The simple phrase “I don’t want to” works with the right man. He will not impose his company in case of refusal. If he categorically accepts the news, don”t make any more excuses. Thus, you can only aggravate the situation and lower the man’s self-esteem.
You can tell him: “You save me as a friend, and I don”t want to ruin my relationship with you.” Politics, subtlety and good manners are your best allies.
If you want to keep your friendship
Here, unfortunately, it almost doesn”t work. If a man already has an intimate interest and he declares it, friendship is almost impossible. Of course, he may agree to be your friend, but he always wants more.
In such a situation, you must understand that your friendship will be lonely. The man keeps hinting at intimacy at every opportunity, making you feel uneasy. Therefore, a refusal must be a refusal.
Some unusual ways to refuse
Your potential man can get you into bed, come up with the most beautiful fairy tales and organize the most luxurious dates. And in the event of a terrible failure, they can prove their inadequacy.
On dates, continue to talk only about difficult topics. Men will not dare to devote themselves to sex with someone who is not prone to cheating.
The dress is below the knees, the neckline is completely absent, which makes it more eloquent than any words.
- “Before the wedding, no.”
Here you need the ability to put on a very serious face. After such a statement, the man will most likely instantly lose interest. However, if you encounter someone who is after your family member, such a statement will not deter him.
- Pretend to be a girl.
But beware of this. A person can be malicious and confuse everyone about it. So make sure you are safe first.
Don”t be afraid to reject a man. If you don”t want intimacy with him, that”s your complete right. If necessary, if not now, say so. Think about why you are late and what bothers you.
If you and your man have a fairly trusting relationship, discuss this together. Perhaps he will be able to find words that will strengthen your confidence in him and dispel the doubts that plague you.
Well, if all his arguments boil down to the primitive “I’m a man and I need sex,” don’t convince him. If you need it so much, let it be somewhere else. You are not a charity for those in need. And you will think about how to attract more people into your bed.
