Who are swingers and what is swing?
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Is there room in a couple”s bed for a stranger? What motivates a couple to invite a third party into their bed? Should such behavior be considered sexual perversion or the norm?
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If you are still asking these questions and cannot find the answers, this material will lift the veil of secrecy and shed light on this topic. Now you know everything you wanted to know about swingers, but were afraid to ask.
Who are swingers
Swingers are established couples (most of them are married with children) who regularly engage in sexual relationships that involve exchanging partners during intercourse. In some cases, they may be looking for “singles,” meaning men or women who are not in a couple.
Most couples who attend swingers” parties are not looking to find a new partner. In most cases, they establish close relationships with couples already known there. Therefore, swingers cannot be considered polyamory.
By the way, statistics show that about 23% of couples are directly familiar with swingers. In addition, about 35% secretly dream of joining the swapping community.
The concept of “swing”
In direct translation, the term “oscillation” sounds like a change or transition. Some argue that similar sexual practices were popularized in ancient Rome and Greece. All holidays dedicated to the great gods were inevitably accompanied by large orgies.
The authorities of Ancient Rome often resorted to some interesting pleasures. During subsequent carnival celebrations, slaves had equal rights with representatives of the upper classes, boundaries were temporarily erased, and happy couples indulged in their carnal desires.
A similar phenomenon spread in ancient China. A person”s forced long-term absence forced him to literally “hand over” his misas into the capable hands of a close couple, close companion or friend.
Types of swingers
“There are several types of swingers, but the biggest difference is between what”s called a “light swap” and a “full swap,”” says Daniel Saint, founder and organizer of the private swingers club New Society for Health (NSFW).
There are a number of reasons why couples might choose one option over another. Many couples usually start with a partial exchange and move on to a full exchange when both partners are ready,” says Saint. It”s very individual. It can take years, or it could be the first time. And of course, there are many couples who don”t go to a full exchange.
How are swingers different from people in open and polyamorous relationships?
I agree, it”s easy to get confused here. In fact, swinging is a special type of open relationship. One in which a partner of a couple has intimate relationships with other people (with the knowledge and consent of the primary partner).
Swingers often have more rules than people in other types of open relationships. For example, swinging couples tend to feel uncomfortable when their partner “changes” without them, Saint explains. And that”s completely normal. An open relationship of any kind is only valid if it is mutually agreed upon between the two partners. Swingers tend to take a more structured approach to sexual commitment.
Read also: How to become swingers or a common body for everyone
Family life should be delicious, just like any other dish. Well, without adding aromatic seasonings and spices in the form of various rich sexual ones.
The difference between polyamory and swinging is the emotional connection. Polycouples may have one or more partners with romantic interests. “And swingers only get intimate because they want to expand their sexual boundaries. There is no need to expand to fall in love with another couple,” says St.
What you need to know before becoming a swinger
Often a swinger becomes a swinger with the snap of a finger. Many couples in this type of relationship highlight several key points. Read about the most important of them below.
- It takes time.
If, when you first meet a couple practicing swinging, you think that they are giving it their all, you are deeply mistaken. Often weeks or months pass from the first meeting to the first sex. Some people spend a long time monitoring thematic sites, trying to find someone who fully matches their preferences. For some, the negotiation process itself drags on indefinitely. And someone doubts their choice for so long and watches their future partner so closely.
And, as a rule, people who have been in a marital relationship for quite a long time change. Inexperienced young couples rarely decide on such an adventure.
- Swingers tend to be embarrassed.
Swingers don”t rush into each other”s arms after meeting each other. And that”s completely normal. Not everyone is so free and notorious. Most experienced swinger couples admit that they feel terrible embarrassment and bewilderment when they first meet. And it never went beyond innocent flirting. Not to mention close sexual contact.
Each couple interprets this definition differently. Someone completely erases all boundaries of what is permitted and quite calmly agrees that intimacy exists even in homosexual relationships. Some couples limit themselves to only rare meetings, do not allow “extra” with representatives of the sex and prefer only traditional types of sex.
There are also so-called “fake” swingers. They can be very difficult to see at a regular theme party at a swingers club. As a rule, these are singles (rarely couples) who behave very defiantly from the first minutes. They are not even averse to making positive acquaintances with literally everyone present, drinking a lot, behaving frivolously and demonstrating their exhibitionist tendencies to the assembled masses. However, when it comes to the main thing, they quickly “merge”.
Such people are not swingers per se, but their natural curiosity and desire to experiment can lead them to such events.
- Communication should be as confidential as possible.
Mutual trust between a swinging couple is key. Both partners should never hide their secret desires and fantasies from each other. And of course, don’t be afraid to admit to each other your sexual preferences and tastes. Without a trusting and mature relationship, this is almost impossible. Otherwise, how can you share your sympathy and passion for this slender brunette with your wife and keep her?
Being a swinger couple doesn”t mean wanting everything that moves and indiscriminately dragging everyone into the marital bed. This is exactly how most people who are far from this topic imagine swingers.
Indeed, some couples have been looking for partners for many years, and all candidates are reserved, and their behavior in bed and within acceptable limits is discussed in detail several times before sexual contact. In this case, each partner and his sexual taboo preferences are taken into account. Violence of any kind is unacceptable, no matter how strong the desire.
- Women are ready to swing.
Despite the established stereotype that women are more reserved and reserved during sexual play, swinging proves otherwise.
In most cases, all behavior during swing worship occurs entirely according to the woman”s direction. The woman sets the rhythm and determines her state. The man has no choice but to tune into her rhythm. And what could be more wonderful than feeling sexually aroused and at the same time completely in control of the entire process? Incidentally, it is the woman who takes the initiative in choosing and meeting new couples.
This is especially true for couples who are not shy about their sexual preferences and openly communicate them to friends and acquaintances. In a way, the swingers” inner circle projects their lifestyle onto themselves.
Many swingers spend time with acquaintances and find them extremely awkward. Even if they have no vulgar intentions, their friends subconsciously begin to seek out a sexual context for their interactions.
There is another side to the coin. One of the swinger”s friends begins to feel embarrassed by his own frivolous behavior and language, having just learned the truth about him. Moreover, people begin to believe they have the right to make “dirty” jokes about their friend”s wife. Of course, such behavior is unacceptable and doesn”t let people understand that swinger relationships are nothing special. True swingers are especially selective in their relationships, and this is an undeniable fact.
