Behavior on the first date: is it necessary to be completely frank?
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First date. A series of emotions that a person experiences and prepares for: excitement, anticipation, desire. When these emotions are integrated, they can influence behavior during an encounter. There may be more to your sex life. You don”t really want to create your soulmate. So how honest should you be on a first date?
Contents of the article:
A fine line between lying and concealment
There is a clear difference between “lies” and “hidden information”, especially when it comes to dates. If one girl and another girl set up a date, but both don”t know about it, it”s a lie. And “you didn”t ask me if I had a girlfriend, so I didn”t tell you” is definitely not appropriate. If you”re dating a girl and hiding the dirty details of your latest breakup, that doesn”t make you a liar.
There is no need to disclose such personal data. Even if she asks how your last relationship ended, you have the right to refuse to answer. To cleverly avoid an unpleasant conversation, say, “This is complicated, but I”ll tell you more about it,” and then quickly change the subject. A first date is not about revealing secrets, not being too frank, but trying to understand how strong the spark is to ignite the flame between you, regardless of whether you come to each other or not.
Bridget Fulkner, a correspondent for a famous women”s magazine, shared her experience of communicating with an overly frank man. She remembered the terrible date. The young man said that all previous preferences were changing left and right, and now they are prone to frequent manifestations of tyranny and totalitarian rule. If this wasn”t the first date, she would feel sorry for him. But for the first time, frankly speaking, don’t you think? Since then, Bridget has not seen him again.
Talk about something abstract, don”t make the evening dramatic and explicit. Pass one secret to another. Excessive sincerity on the first date is off-putting, and opportunities for further communication become increasingly rare. This means that when you first meet a man, you should not talk about manifestations of “tyranny and totalitarian control,” even if such traits are unique to you. It”s worth keeping quiet about this until you know what you want to share and until your partner is ready to hear it. Say something about your ex on the first date. Call their number (especially if you”re impressed).
Read also: How to impress a man on the first date?
Family psychologist. For eight years I have been saving “family units” from disintegration. We help couples find love and understanding again. Follow ours.
Drama — friend or foe?
Another enemy of a good date is sympathy. Gentleman, well, actually, are you a man or a woman — your personal psychologist? Have a nice time or have you decided to burden your partner with your problems? Empathy doesn”t work as well as it is portrayed in movies, TV shows, and books. No, your buddy won”t jump into bed with you if he hears stories about how your kids laughed at your long nose when they were little, or how your dad sometimes let you raise your hand. Pity does not inspire respect and does not show off a woman — stop this performance.
The Role of Welfare
Another cliché is that the richer a man is, the more likely a woman is to grab him. Firstly, bragging about your financial situation on the first or any other date speaks of insecurity. A person must cost himself something without finances. Secondly, excessive generosity suggests that men are trying to bribe women.
Don”t go beyond
Therefore, based on the experience of dating hundreds of girls, we can draw a general conclusion. This helps to understand what turns girls off.
5 criteria for how to determine on the first date whether your relationship has a future
Past. You can mention it in passing, but don”t make it the only topic of the evening. Oh, and one more thing: when a girl asks about the past, she is interested in knowing how long it took you to get over the breakup, and not about your childhood, past hobbies, friends and who broke your heart.
Money. Nothing is more fun than people complaining. Apart from boredom and the desire to end the date quickly, people who complain about the lack or abundance of money do not evoke any other emotions.
What do you need to be frank about?
It”s already been said that you need to understand the boundaries of silence between lies and harmless information — this is something I really don”t want to talk about. However, some questions need to be answered as directly as possible.
If you have children, please let us know immediately. If this is revealed during online communication, it is better not to do it in person. Do this immediately before something really starts between you.
Talk about the future. This doesn”t mean you need to share every plan in great detail, but if you”re planning to move to another country and don”t want children, be honest. Plus, having desires and goals is very sexy.
MARRIED STATUS Needless to say, they should be honest about the situation. However, there are hundreds of examples where they don’t even talk about it, simply because they don’t take their partner into account. When they say “we live separately,” they don’t mean “unmarried,” but “still married.”
