Fashion for BDSM relationships: why BDSM is gaining popularity
A few years ago, only those who were directly involved in it knew about BDSM. For those who are not in the know, the name of such relationships was “sadomasochism”, and, to put it mildly, they considered it a dirty perversion, did not understand and did not accept it. Admitting oneself as a sadist or masochist was even more dangerous than admitting oneself as a homosexual.
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Then the acclaimed movie Fifty Shades came out and it all started. In BDSM love, as it turned out, ordinary vanilla was never even dreamed of. Then they began to look for her so that she would not be lazy. Today the BDSM topic is experiencing a real boom. This is fashionable, does not cause condemnation, but is almost welcomed in society. Let”s figure out whether everything is fine within the community, whether such relationships are good at least for those who do not need deviation, and whether sadists and masochists have won in their experiences from such shocks.
What, above all, distinguishes BDSM relationships?
For external observers, the main thing is attribution. Sideburns, collar, leather BDSM clothing, handcuffs, chains. It”s beautiful, it tickles your nerves. Exciting. Yes, indeed, they are important for many accessories, but they are far from the main thing. The most distinguishing characteristic of true sadists and masochists is trust. Trust in ordinary life as such, sometimes limitless, which is not often seen. In vanilla relationships, people do not always completely trust each other, even after living together for years. This does not happen in BDSM and does not happen in principle. Imagine how you would have to trust a person if he is not a very good person. Imagine him being violent and allowing himself to be bound by the suffering of others, perhaps even gagging as he watches the dangerous device in his hands! If those who were trying to reach the BDSM community would even think about it, at least the “low” ranks would be significantly diluted. Trust is not an empty word for sadists. But what if, after the spanking, the person who convinced him he was suicidal suddenly changed his mind and he rushed to the police? From the point of view of criminal law, the behavior of a person with a whip in his hand is fully covered by the article. If you add to this sexual behavior without the consent of the “victim” in question, any talk about BDSM sexual fashions becomes useless. Physical injuries will only make the situation worse. Imagine what an innocent session can turn into.
By the way, this is in the same “50 Shades”, but not everyone can understand and see this moment. One of the parts ends in hysterics and breaks down immediately after the pain caused Anastasia to become hysterical and have a nervous breakdown. The book very clearly describes the girl”s condition. If the story hadn”t been so remarkable, the police might have called it a day. And attributes. They are not at all primary in relation to the integrity of feelings. Some people don”t use them in their sessions, others prefer improvisational tools. It”s not so romantic, is it?
Why is BDSM so attractive and why is it dangerous?
Firstly, for external attributes. It’s so romantic to imagine yourself in torture and chains or with a whip! Gray stone walls, lamps. Or walls, mirrors, ebony, trembling candlelight, the reflection of a living fire in a fireplace damp from excitement. How beautiful!
Read also: BDSM: terms and rules, types of relationships between partners forbidden sensations attract people with their abnormality and thrill. As early as Ancient Greece, elements of BDSM were depicted in temple frescoes. And today.
In fact, creating such a torture chamber requires a lot of money. Of course, you can rent a fully equipped BDSM studio, but that”s also necessary, and there aren”t many such good studios. Therefore, reality is unlikely to match the dream. Everything has become much simpler and more convenient.
Without understanding the intricacies of relationships and communication culture, trying to find a BDSM partner can be truly life-threatening. The actual bottom may have specific talents determined by needs. Less experienced partners may feel trapped, adventurous, newcomers, and caught in the middle of a variety of adventures in such relationships. Without prior agreement, talk of how a sadist laughed at the victim spreads from mouth to mouth. Picking up a whip isn”t so easy or fun either. Calculate your influence and don”t overdo it—people work very carefully and for a long time at this. Otherwise, the consequences could be dire. Besides legal liability, don”t forget about the possibility of getting “returns” from the victim. Anything can happen. The same applies if a person, lying calmly under the whip”s attack, grabs the device and starts a conversation with a sadist who isn”t part of the group. Beyond the physical aspects of BDSM, there are also psychological aspects. This is well described in an earlier book, “Nine and a Half Weeks.” Every time you have to pick yourself up after such a breakup, it”s far more devastating than a normal life. There”s no need to go through this if you don”t have an inner need. You also need to consider that after a deep dive, you might not be able to do it on the way home. It”s similar to how people seek adrenaline. Without it, everything is bland and gray.
I like accessories—there are plenty of “velvet” devices in stores that look like the real thing but won”t cause severe pain or injury. Light BDSM practices can be enjoyed without diving into the jungle or looking for a new partner. Sexual play can add variety and spice to a routine, vanilla relationship. Most importantly, it”s convenient and completely safe in every way.
What BDSM fashion brought to the community
In the recent past it was a rather closed society. Only those who became interested in this issue and began searching to understand it. Everyone knew each other. And now there are no advertisements on television. It is very difficult for many unnecessary random people to calmly talk about this to people who have been consciously dealing with this topic for a long time. First of all, you need to understand how serious the person is and why he became interested in BDSM. Beginners are not bad. And so many questions and problems, they also added the risk of shooting a random lover. Inexperienced nigens in the hands of inexperienced but enthusiastic uppers are an unnecessary adventure, and better without it.
Of course, in most cases, people look for partners on the Internet. In writing, it is very difficult to understand who you are communicating with and how “real” they are. This requires talent and experience. We can go with the flow, like in many fairy tales. There are many adventurers and even empty dart frogs, whose experience does not go beyond their fantasies. More and more often you can hear about quite interesting cases when “experienced and loving hard practitioners” immediately begin to explain how to insert, how many times, what to hit and what to say. Or about brutal uppercuts. The whole practice boils down to gatherings in cafes, where they tell stories about “amazing, tough, experienced and determined sadists.” But he has no devices or meeting place. And, as a rule, the knees are slightly bent from their perception of coolness. Unfortunately, too often fashion loses its meaning and identity. Unfortunately, BDSM fashion is no exception.
