What is the essence of BDSM relationships between a dominant and a submissive?
Housewife”s 30 Favorite Movies Fifty Shades of Gray is hard to watch without smiling, but he doesn”t think their creators are comedians. But most of all, this work forced members of the BDSM culture to be, well, BDSM. Unfortunately, the filmmakers do not even have an approximate idea of the psychology of the dominant and submissive; they are limited only to external BDSM attributes.
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However, it is difficult to deny that the film aroused interest in the “acute sensation” among many people who are far from this topic. Within the framework of this article, Evgeniy “Bad Comedian” Bazhenov, we are not analyzing the film. We will only try to touch on these aspects of BDSM.
Is BDSM a disease and a perversion?
Despite the fact that the practice of BDSM is condemned by moralists of all stripes, and that incompetent “experts” on cheap TV shows call the behavior pathological, mental pathologists of all stripes can only explain it by two points, identified by psychiatrist Robert Spitzer, that can only be explained. last century.
A mental disorder is only disturbed if a person experiences suffering because of it and/or his social adaptation is disrupted because of it.
Therefore, all forms of voluntary sexual relations between two adults are not pathological. Do not confuse sadists who beat and rape women against their will, as this is a form of sexual violence and is not pathological. This does not bother the dominant, who professes the principles of safety, rationality and spontaneity that underlie the BDSM culture.
The psychology of dominance and submission, the motives of submission and dominance are, of course, interesting phenomena from a scientific point of view, but these are not diseases. Therefore, you can throw the TV out the window along with Malakhov and Malysheva, unless, of course, you didn’t do this.
Empty external paraphernalia wrapper
In one form or another, many couples have experimented with elements of dominance and submission in their sex lives to one degree or another, but this does not mean that they belong to the BDSM community. In popular culture, the external attributes of BDSM are predominantly used: leather and latex, belts, handcuffs, film, gags and bondage tight suits.
However, all these objects do not provide anything for understanding the internal psychological processes connecting the dominant and the submissive. All these objects belong to another spectrum of sexual fantasies — fetishism. The desire to pull on a perfectly fitting outfit for your girlfriend and slam a few times in the BUT section is not equivalent to the BDSM community”s definition of dominance and submission.
Read also: Options for BDSM tasks for the submissive
Submit, endure, enjoy and destroy the idea of what it should be. This is the meaning of being a BDSM slave.
Again, this doesn”t mean that your fetishism, when limited to your other half, is bad. If you like these attributes and similar practices, you will easily find everything you need in a sex shop. But just based on the attributes of the BDSM community, you may not need it, but by itself it does not recognize you.
The difference in the sensations of the upper and lower
Psychologists who studied the relationship between BDSM dominants and submissives, or up and down, as they are more often called, noticed an interesting feature. In most cases, the satisfaction of the top partner has little to do with physical sensations and is mainly psycho-emotional, and often plays an important, if not the main role in relation to the bottom factors of physical sensations.
Myths about BDSM. Are submissives weak?
Psychologists also point out the high level of trust and understanding between tops and bottoms that make up long-term BDSM relationships. However, due to the complexity of some practices and the strong emotional and sexual arousal associated with the couple”s practice, it is necessary to create an alarm system.
It includes stopped words, movements and gestures that immediately express a demand to stop or change the practice. This may be the only part of a BDSM relationship that was almost certainly explored in Fifty Shades of Grey.
Subspace
It is worth mentioning the key psychological phenomenon of BDSM — the So-Calcaled subspace. This is a specific trance, an altered state of consciousness, resulting from the release of numerous endorphins during BDSM practices. Subspace is characterized by uncontrollable pleasure and euphoria, a sense of spatial time and loss of direction, as well as partial or complete loss of pain.
Achieving this state among BDSM practitioners is similar to achieving orgasm during regular sex, but requires special care and attention, since it is associated with certain risks to health and even life.
Loss of pain sensation leads to an increased risk of injury and makes it impossible for the bottom person to control the situation and use the safe word in time. Accurately, consistently and safely achieving trance requires a certain level of knowledge and training from both partners.
BDSM culture is a huge layer of relationships, practices, rules and principles that cannot be discussed in a short article. We highlight only the main thing: judging the BDSM community by external attributes and incompetent television programs is a big mistake. Otherwise, if you”re really interested, you”ll figure it out on your own.
