Expectation of Failure: How to Avoid It and Achieve a Consistently Good Erection
A common situation for many: a relationship seems to be going well, but something prevents them from enjoying intimacy. Moreover, each time this happens, the fear that it will never heal grows.
Contents of the article:
I”m 24 years old, and my wife is 26. After our wedding, they started having sex. For three weeks, everything seemed to be going well. But over time, my erection worsened. I”m healthy, don”t suffer from depression, and I”m not an alcoholic or drug addict. I like my woman.
Q: What”s going on? Is it a fear of intimacy? I don”t seem to be consciously afraid of anything, but it could be subconscious. Or is it because of regular pre-wedding masturbation? I truly love my wife and find her sexually attractive. Please give me some helpful advice!
The Cause of the Problem
Sexologists believe this situation has nothing to do with fear of sex. Pornography has nothing to do with it either. It”s about successful sex at the end, the anxious anticipation of orgasm. In such situations, transitioning from same-sex to partnered sex can play a significant role.
Masturbation and partnered lovemaking are two types of sex, but they are very different. In real sex, we no longer find ourselves in the realm of fantastical fantasies. Partners engage in a mutual dance, which is very complex. Mastering this art and fully enjoying it takes time and practice.
In general, the stress of a sexual misfire can affect a wide variety of couples, not just at the beginning of a relationship. And in most cases, this situation arises from general tension or specific circumstances. For example, men have to perform difficult work every day. Or they sit in traffic jams for four hours a day, repeatedly leaving for work and returning home.
All this leads to the “fight or flight” stress response. As you can see, the body doesn”t depend on sex in these situations—its function is limited to survival. And you can”t explain to your body that an irritated boss or another idiot on the street doesn”t actually pose a threat to life and health.
Read also: A man isn”t satisfied with sex—how to avoid a relationship crisis
It”s no secret to any woman that sex is a weakness for all men. Women know that good sex can make any man fall in love.
Helpful Tips
No erection? Expectation of failure syndrome — how to overcome it. comic
- Visit a specialist. In most cases, nothing serious happens to the couple. Sex therapists can help you identify the cause of pent-up tension and teach you relaxation techniques. And this is the main condition for a stable erection.
- If possible, avoid drinking alcohol two hours before sex. Alternatively, limit yourself to one glass of wine, beer or other types of alcohol. Alcohol has a depressant effect on the nervous system. More than one serving may impair erection. By the way, in a similar way, drinking can negatively affect your partner”s pleasure.
- Secure your bedroom. Candles, pleasant music, extra pillows — it should be comfortable and comfortable. The erotic atmosphere stimulates sexual desire and maintains an erection.
- Extend the foreplay. Before you begin, pay attention to the teasing sensual games. Don”t forget about kisses, hugs and kind words.
- Swim or shower together before sex. Hot water is very relaxing and reduces the fight or flight reflex. Warm showers also stimulate blood circulation and improve erections. Another bonus is that there are no hygiene problems.
- Deep breathing is very relaxing. For many people, deep breathing also has a stimulating effect.
- Keep each other informed about your likes and dislikes. To do this, it is not necessary to read a lecture before sex. If you like this or that movement, a sensual moan or “yes.”. mark it with the words “Yes.”. Soon you and your partner will figure out what turns you on the most.
- Many men like it when a woman strokes their penis just before sexual intercourse. If this is you, tell your partner about it. When she strokes you, stroke yourself with your free hand. You can do the same. This foreplay should last at least 30 minutes.
Most women need at least 30 minutes of gentle kissing and caressing to fully warm up. Warm-up is also beneficial for men as it relaxes them and improves blood circulation. The blood vessels in the penis open and erections become stronger.
- Finally, when you move on to intercourse itself, continue breathing deeply. Choose the position most suitable for a stable erection. The normal position (woman on the bottom) is more intense for men.
Finally, one more tip: don”t rush to orgasm simultaneously. Don”t try to orgasm at the same time. This is how sex is portrayed in movies, but in reality, it”s very rare for both partners to climax at the same time.
When one has reached the peak of bliss, it”s the other”s turn. Remember that only 25% of women experience orgasm directly during intercourse.
If you and your partner try these methods, then after a short period of practice, sex will become a source of pleasure and enjoyment for you, not anxiety.
