Some tips on how to overcome your fear of dating girls
Humanity has created many fears. Not all of them came out of nowhere. Without fear, humanity would have died long ago. But there is a fear of not having much meaning, but at the same time it greatly interferes with life. I”m afraid to date. As a rule, he pursues men and is afraid of the first step towards the girl he likes.
Contents of the article:
What does fear look like?
Do you see? You are not alone. The fear of dating haunts everyone. Only in childhood could you approach a girl, pull her pigtails and sprinkle sand on her. That”s all — you are my friend. Now everything has changed. Remember, you see the cutest things but don”t even think about “taxi”. And that”s because you know exactly what you look like. Stuttering formations with wet palms. Here”s what they all look like. You have no choice but to follow her like a zombie, inhale her fragrant scent and be offended that you failed again. Let”s look at the signs of fear.
- Profuse sweating.
- Trembling in limbs.
- Respiratory paralysis (incomplete, of course), and
- Disorientation (partial, only paralysis, the tongue cannot be heard).
Do you have all these signs? Congratulations, you have approach anxiety. Again, others suffer from the same nonsense. So you are not alone. Of course, there are those macho men who will not miss a single skirt, but believe me, you are not alone. Well, this is the “yabvdul” level. As soon as they see a great specimen, they sweat and silently follow it with their eyes, just like you.
Where do the legs grow from or the root of the problem?
Needless to say, Domostroy has long since sunk into oblivion. Ridiculous and unaccepted, the matriarchal system was considered hopeless, but has long been confidently walking the earth. Men themselves missed the moment to let women into their gardens. At first they were allowed to be equal, and then they were expelled. Say it, okay? Okay, let”s figure this out. Women are now allowed a lot: to drive a car and a country. He wants to: box, he wants to lift weights, he wants to play politics. And eventually, women achieved a certain level of success. But most importantly, they enlighten us. Remember how many of your friends grew up in two-parent families? Now remember how often their fathers came to them. The statistics are sobering. All over the world, women are raising boys in splendid isolation. By pretending to be “unprepared”, it has become commonplace for their heirs to be “fucked hard” and “abandoned to their fate.” It”s easier to pay child support if they know they”re being forced than to change a diaper. As a result, boys grow up in the company of women. The mother stays at home, and the teachers work at the Marivanna school in kindergarten. At first, men are very aggressive and confrontational. However, this is natural. This is the establishment of a hierarchy of status in society. Men naturally tend to do this: stronger, taller, faster. Remember who in nature deserves women? Only the most dexterous men.
People didn”t have people for a long time. Mothers rock their sons as if on a crystal vase. Oh he fell, oh he struggled. As a result, a person’s brain is washed out and cleanliness creaks; he grows into a full-fledged “plant”. Yes, smart and brought up in the best traditions, but he will never be a man. He is a pince-nez, and everyone is touched by him. However, it does not happen that a woman has such a man with zero masculine parameters. At best, he grows up to be an introverted “computer genius.” This is only in the worst case — “conchit vurst” — girls see on the Internet. What”s the end? What does patriarchy lead to?
- In general, they are afraid of women. From it, men are punished and rewarded. Mothers, sisters, grandmothers, teachers. They are all predictions. Men are associated with them by association. Thus, women cause psychological dissonance.
- Fear of dating. This is a continuation of the first point. You instinctively become upset because you are preparing yourself for hostility. After all, there may be many mistakes in your behavior, and for them you receive OCD from childhood. As a result, their brains grow, panic increases, and the situation becomes stressful. In addition, girls thus develop mania every second. This way you can get one or two bags per head.
- Fear of relationships. Now, according to the script. You haven’t left yet, but you’ve already scrolled through your entire future life in your head, full of disappointments and consolations.
After all these conclusions, you are unlikely to be captivated by beauty, even if you decide to experiment, stand like a block, blow bubbles and mutter patterns about sky-colored phones and eyes. What it looks like from the outside: two very worthy representatives of humanity. One fainted from fear of the date, the second panicked from the presence of maniacs. You mutter something about “Say your name,” she’s already seen the headline “Found in a wooded area,” you try to be abrupt, she clutches her bag tighter. Pay attention to your reason, boy, that”s a blow. This is the worst case scenario. But more often than not, the woman gives you a bright, devastated face, lets out a harsh phrase, proudly throws you into the minibus, sits there and tells her friends about the next idiot. If you come up with it with complete confidence, you will surely become the owner of a telephone number.
Pickup is your enemy
If you are truly afraid of meeting people, then you have probably tried many ways to overcome your fear. If you have already signed up for self-pickup courses, then you can safely go there. If you have already taken the “macho course”, but it does not help, there is a simple explanation for this.
Read also: How to stop communicating because of fear of girls? absolutely all men experience wild fear, almost horror, when they go out on the first hunting trail of a young woman. This is normal and not required.
You see, the root of the problem of lack of results lies in the fact that there are coaches who do not know anything about themselves. They promote templates that never work. The pickup itself is crude, just not resolved. Yes, you will get the new one, but this version is simply classified as a replacement for the old one. When computers first came out, when window technicians came on board, it was still “98. They proudly launched disks, downloaded “pirates”, desktop pictures changed, and the client was sure that his computer would “fly”.
How to overcome your fear of a beautiful woman
How to get rid of fear
Now let”s talk about how to get rid of this notorious fear.
- Remember, women don”t bite! Plus, if your tackle is competent, they”ll smile too. And if you”re being really manly, you can buy a tie for the first date.
- Choose it yourself. If you are a simple plumber, then the story of Cinderella has nothing to do with you. Stripes to stripes, spots to spots. So, Lexus women are not for you. Another thing is that you can easily flex your muscles if you find yourself in such a car.
- Learn the rules of politeness. Learn some brilliant greeting phrases. Remember some aspects of behavior in the presence of women. Learn a few goodbye phrases in case of rejection. If you get rejected, don”t even think about putting on a poker face. Complain or grumble later. At this point you should bow politely.
- Appearance. If you think that an 8-piece hat and a cup of sunflower seeds makes you look brutal, you are sorely mistaken. You”re about to “hunt”, so get your best “feathers” ready. Neatness and a good smell are your helpers. If you”re not too shiny, you”ll look like a Faberge egg and girls will think you”re handsome.
- Where to meet. Choose your area carefully. As a rule, the location is not so important, but the atmosphere itself can make its own adjustments. Not least in the sense that he himself will encourage your behavior. For example, a gym. There you can insure and set up the machine and, if necessary, take part in the training at the same time as it or go for water. During transportation, you can refuse a basic seat. Finding out the club is as easy as bombing a punching bag. I bought a cocktail. You are “ladies”. He extended his hands, opened doors, and did other gentlemanly things. Here is a model of behavior that will help you overcome your fears.
- Sedatives. Yes, yes, sedatives. Don”t eat tranquilizer packets. Otherwise, women will consider you a dead duck. Chamomile, valerian, motherwort or thyme, glycine infusion; in severe cases, if you are on the verge of fainting, Afobazol can help. Alcohol isn”t the only thing that can help! This is the worst decision you can make.
- Literature. Crime fiction from Vasya Pupkin, as well as famous authors on psychology. How to distinguish them from each other? Only in the library can you find worthwhile work. Everything else is in the oven. Because they”re just old newspapers.
- Go to a psychologist. By the way, great topic. But first, read reviews about specialists. Otherwise, you will get an appointment with an idiot who knows nothing about this and does not know how, except to deceive honest citizens.
- Old movie. We know that times never change. Girls always love classics. Only very old, good, Soviet paintings can give you good advice.
How to continue dating
When the first phase is completed, a wave of panic rolls in before the second call. This is normal because it is very easy to determine when the first phase has passed and when the second has not. Because it”s very easy to find out. Worst first date ever! Of course, this is a topic for another conversation. Because there are no more pitfalls here, but for the future you need to know the following:
- The first date should take place no earlier than in a few days. Messengers who will help you throughout this time. They will allow you to maintain contact, clarify preferences and a few wishes.
- Don”t drag a girl to a super-sized restaurant. Otherwise, you”ve raised the bar and won”t be able to keep up in the future. Ice cream and coffee are plenty for a first date. And remember, we”re not in Europe; here you have to pay for everything! Even if she”s a tenth-generation feminist and prefers to pay for herself, you should insist on paying for yourself. At least because you”re a man.
- Don”t forget about flowers. But don”t buy a giant broom. It won”t surprise anyone, but they”re hard to carry on your back. Discreet but elegant flowers—one—are enough for a first date.
- Be sure to spend some time at home. First, it”s safe. Second, it allows you to find out where the lady lives. Third, it”s an essential part of a date.
- Think carefully about the topic of conversation. There”s no need to pester her with “I give you a star”; a girl is born with the sound of a pan being scrubbed. And you don”t need to burden her with memories of your adventures: she knows when, where, and with whom he hung out. It”s better to talk about neutral topics. And don”t investigate; you”re not taking part in an interview. Pay attention to your speech. It shouldn”t overwhelm her with pomp, glamour, monotony, slang—in other words, professionalism. Simplicity and elegance. And yes, keep the humor. You”re not at a Zadornov concert.
- If the girl works on the day of the date, you should meet her. But by arrangement: what if she”s a crane operator at a factory? She needs time to figure herself out.
If you decide to refuse
It happens. Because I liked it, I kind of agreed to continue our acquaintance, but everything went wrong, and your fantasies crumbled. It”s okay. You don”t owe her anything. How do you get rid of him? Show us all your nobility. Calmly and naturally, you can throw them away. Some initiate SIM cards for this purpose. But such behavior is a terrible step. However, it”s better to say it directly, with maximum tact and diplomacy. “Excuse me, I”m very glad to meet you, but unfortunately, you girls are not my formality. Smart and beautiful, I”m not worthy of you!” Yes, she might flinch or shrug. But in any case, the refusal was quite remarkable.
There is no science to dating. There is no single piece of advice. Each one is brewing in its own juices. Understand that everyone is afraid of the first approach. You are not alone. But it is in your power to give you the opportunity to overcome your fears. To do this, you need to understand that girls don”t bite.
