What should you know before practicing BDSM? Everything you need for safety
In photographs dedicated to the BDSM theme, you will see mostly thin men and women. They are flexible, thin and cheerful, whom God Himself commanded to engage in slavery. Involuntarily, all this confuses us, and we plunge into sad thoughts: what should those who do not have such a perfect figure do? Give up comfort? Or have classic sex for the rest of the day?
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Such desperate prospects are rarely suitable. But in fact, physical fitness, gender, age and other characteristics are not a reason for refusing mandatory practices. Before you start practicing BDSM, it”s worth considering some of the most important issues. After all, the quality of the process and the safety of the participants depend on them.
Attention to detail
American sexologist Stella Harris thinks so. “Like any other direction of sex, bondage requires careful weighing of all the pros and cons, communication with your partner and taking into account all the nuances. And do not get hung up on the fact that your body does not seem good enough for such games. Pay attention to what is really important — this will help get rid of imaginary shortcomings, avoid distractions and possible difficulties,” she advises in an interview.
The importance of communication
“The most important thing is to always maintain a dialogue with your partner. Ask him about his health and injuries. At the same time, try to be as specific as possible. People who have not practiced bondage throughout their life may not know what information is most relevant to them in this regard. Perhaps your partner does not even know that asthma, allergies or diabetes are conditions for which it is better to abstain from BDSM activities? You may need to have an inhaler on hand or medication. You can also test your body”s flexibility, both yours and your partner”s. This could include doing a little yoga, for example.”
If you knew where you would fall..
In addition, Stella talks about the need to use a soft floor — in this case, pillows are ideal. Place as many pillows as possible next to the appropriate partner. If he or she suddenly makes a dangerous move and falls, this will prevent injury. Also make sure there are no furniture with sharp corners or other potentially dangerous items in the house.”
Read also: BDSM rules for beginners: safety first taking precautions, especially if this is a very important first experience of BDSM. A detailed training manual on the technique needs to be developed.
Consider the need of the dominant
“I believe that BDSM should focus on both partners. For example, if a person suffers from arthritis or other joint problems, tying a knot for an hour can be a serious problem for him. Therefore, other bondage methods should be used instead of bracelets, Velcro, handcuffs or ropes.”
Be aware of mental characteristics
In some cases, it is worth considering more than just the physical characteristics of the BDSM participant. Coral Mellor, an American teacher of sexual culture, believes that special attention should be paid to those who suffer from disorders of the nervous system. Perhaps your partner suffers from increased anxiety or has symptoms of trophic vegetative-vascular dystonia.
In this case, the BDSM class requires the use of a complex weave of ropes that must quickly support the knot. Or, for example, handcuffs that can be easily and quickly removed.” Of course, this does not exhaust the list of possible preventive measures. Sexologists urge everyone who engages in BDSM to always take into account the specific circumstances, physical and psychological characteristics of both themselves and their partners. Coral adds. “Know that your character is characterized by impulses and impetuosity. If there is a risk of losing control of yourself during BDSM, it is better not to start the practice to avoid negative consequences. BDSM can only be practiced with psychologically healthy people who do not harm themselves or others.”
Remember also about the psychological characteristics of your partner. For example, if a person practicing BDSM is afraid of undermining his already low self-esteem, there is no need to persuade the person to this practice and persuade him to become a subordinate. Ultimately, all the key points need to be discussed. Sit down together and think about what kind of scene you want to recreate, what it takes and what the basic safety rules are. It is especially important to take into account the opinion of a partner experiencing fear. Have an open conversation about his or her fears and what needs to be done to make him or her feel safe and comfortable.” BDSM Culture and Philosophy PART 1 (safety, spontaneity, rationality)
