Is it necessary to wean a fetishist from a fetish and why?
It”s not uncommon for men to need a fetish for arousal, and it”s not a big problem. However, when it is used not only to create sexual desire, but also for sexual satisfaction, we can talk about sexual perversion.
Contents of the article:
Can fetishism be normal or abnormal? How do you understand that a person needs to be treated for fetishism — and is this even possible?
What can be considered a fetish?
To figure out if someone needs treatment, you first need to figure out what it is. Fetishism is a peculiar phenomenon that has never been classified. It is both a sexual perversion and a model of sexual behavior. This often happens in our lives — from a great to a ridiculous step.
For example, when a man is aroused by the smell of perfume, girls do not see anything strange. In fact, perfume can be left out of the story altogether. This is because they are part of a patterned integrated circuit called human seduction, fragrances, linens and alcohol.
The manufacturer says directly in the text: use our fragrances and use them all men. Scientists consider a smell (including synthetic smell) a fetish if it excites a person. And beautiful bed linen is also a fetish. And it doesn’t matter whether there are women in linen or not.
By the way, it is interesting to note that most fetishists are men. It is less common in women. Although sexologists argue that when women like certain colors, types of tattoos and hairstyles, visual and professional signs (for example, military uniforms), this is also a fetish.
Fetishism has its own scientific definition. It is arousal and sexual satisfaction achieved by influencing human senses with objects that are not aimed at these purposes. Scientists are very happy with this formulation. However, people often get lost and confused.
If we are excited by the sight of an object, by smelling it (in other words, by smelling it), we may hear something. These are not genitals — this is already fetishism. I submit the head to be cut off, but during sex people prefer to smell violets and French perfumes rather than their genitals.
For some men, lingerie, clothing items (gloves, scarves), high-heeled shoes are enough to experience it. If they like the smell of shoes or women”s stockings/tights, they may like to smell their partner”s feet during sex.
If a woman likes it too (or at least doesn”t mind), the question becomes: why would anyone leave it? Remember and repeat the phrase of the great gender pathologist Kazimir Izalinsky. If people feel good in bed, if they do not cause harm or inconvenience to others, then there is no perversion.
“Good” and “bad” fetishism
Scientists find a difference between physiological fetishism and pathological fetishism. Physiological (normal) refers to a specific woman and the objects she possessed. The pathological fetishist does not care about women. It would be enough to buy a pair of drunken panties at the store.
Read also: Types of fetishes and their varieties: 9 most common
The world of sexual fantasies is always full of secrets. It was very difficult for him, and he succumbed to the discovery. Many fantasies took the form of deviations and became objects.
Weaning (if truly necessary) should be carried out by a qualified sex therapist. By the way, he/she will determine whether the deviation is eliminated. If a person is healthy and does not need treatment, it is more convenient to talk to both partners. Perhaps the reason for this lies in human perception.
However, in some cases, specialist help is truly necessary. This refers to people who understand that their behavior and sexual tendencies are different from the norm and can cause personal and social problems for the person. For example, when fetishism is combined with crime.
Most often this concerns the theft of women”s toiletries and household items (for example, underwear, stockings, panties, perfume, cosmetics).
In most cases, fetishism is harmless. Women often share stories on forums about the strange quirks and habits of their husbands or lovers in bed. Some people are turned on by red lipstick, others get an erection from the smell of hay, others need a partner who looks like Marilyn Monroe or Lady Gaga.
Movie stars, singers and models whose photographs adorn bedroom walls and laptop monitors may also be fetishized. The man does not need to physically possess this woman. All he needs to do is masturbate to her image (which is also unusual for me). However, some people are obsessed with fetishism.
Everything you need to know about foot fetish
The latter point can ultimately cause a breakup, when the partner turns into a living fetish for the man. He is not interested in the woman”s identity. In fact, for him she is a living mannequin, a doll that can wear clothes. She stands up and is painted to look like a fetish image.
This perception offends the woman, and as a result she does not enjoy sexual relations with men. It’s also bad that the fetishist in this case is not particularly interested in the feelings of his partner — he is used to receiving satisfaction from inanimate objects. This is the main reason for visiting a doctor.
Can fetishism be cured?
In short: it”s difficult, but it”s possible. However, healing does not happen overnight. This will require lengthy sessions of psychoanalysis and, if there are accompanying symptoms of a nervous breakdown, possibly medication.
Fetishism is a psychological pathology that arises as a result of initial vivid sexually charged impressions and experiences. To “disconnect” the psyche from this matrix, it is necessary to find triggers and then work with them individually.
Example: As a child, the patient hid behind a haystack and watched sexual intercourse in a meadow. The smell of dry grass caused a persistent erection and involuntary ejaculation; without this smell, sex would seem incomplete. In this case, orgasm occurs in the meadow without sexual contact with a woman.
This situation led the man to a sex therapist. After conversation, it was decided to replace the mattress with hay, and the hay was gradually compressed until the smell was no longer audible. During this period, the patient had sex with his wife. At the end of the course of treatment, the smell of the fetish no longer bothered me.
In other cases, the doctor must first determine the exact cause of the reaction and remove the person from the associated “fetish-excitement-sex.”
The main thing is that it makes sense to treat a fetishist only when he himself wants it. If he has no desire and his very behavior does not cause any particular inconvenience either to him or to those around him, a natural question arises about the advisability of holding the event.
