How to Tell if Your Ex is the Real Problem
At the beginning of a new relationship, you like everything about the person. In euphoria, a person does not pay attention to various little things. Then various questions begin to arise, but they are not always useful or necessary. Jealousy from an ex-partner can destroy even the most promising and promising relationships.
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what will it look like? How not to spoil yourself or his mood and life with unreasonable jealousy and constant questioning?
Here, first of all, you need to understand the situation and find out whether the old relationship is really over. Why did the topic of “former” arise? In the regular version, they are mentioned only once or twice, and no one remembers about it again. If the third person in your relationship is invisible, you need to clearly find out if he is really an ex.
Leave the past in the past
The ideal option is to prohibit yourself from asking questions about this and cleverly avoid answering when asked. How? A very good option is to tell them about Soviet film classics. In the film “Moscow Doesn’t Believe in Tears,” Katya and Gosha are lying in bed, and he asks her: “Who was there?” she asked, remembering that he had been in bed with her.
Katerina answers him thoughtfully. All! The problem is solved once and for all. In one phrase, the past is completely erased and a negative attitude towards it is shown in comparison with what is happening in the present. Amazing! This phrase deserves attention.
Don’t you want to be interrogated? Secondly, do not delve into this topic on your own. Everyone has their own story, but since it is in the past, don’t look back and move on. What’s the point of comparing yourself to others? Whether you have become better or worse does not matter anymore, because you are here now and that person is no longer there.
Take the example of Hollywood stars – the whole world knows who their ex is, but there are daredevils who are not afraid to compete with Brad Pitt, Bruce Willis, even Johnny Depp or Madonna.
people disagree for many reasons: betrayal, deception, repairs, differences in vision or preferences. However, there is a certain percentage of couples.
Confidence in your own irresistibility is the key to success in the fight against an ideal previous partner. Whoever he is, be yourself!
In any case, it is obvious that old connections remind you both of yourself. This should be taken lightly. Childhood friends, classmates, college classmates, former colleagues. Old partners should be equal to them in all respects.
Jealous of your first love since kindergarten? You calmly listen to your love story in the first year, don’t you? Capture the emotions that stories from your childhood evoke in you. For example, try to experience almost the same thing when you come across a photo on a social network of them laughing during last year’s holiday. Just mild interest, nothing more.
It’s a little more challenging to jump into the game as a “new partner”, but be yourself nonetheless. And definitely don’t ask your new acquaintances about their predecessors. If they themselves speak, even if you were really terribly interested, it is better to carefully leave the topic.
Should you get back to your ex? | relationships with exes | psychologist Natalya Korneeva
Unfinished relationship
There is only one option for a situation in which it is better not to find yourself, and the safest way out for your own peace of mind is retreat. This is an unfinished relationship.
If everything is confused and ignored, then, most likely, this relationship will not bring you anything good, because they quarrel, then make up, and at some point you appear. Unexpectedly finding yourself on one side of a love triangle is a dubious pleasure.
Call” may indicate that you are the odd one out: you:
- Something you hear much more often than you would like or think about.
- They often talk on the phone and quarrel.
- They have many common acquaintances or hobbies that do not completely interfere with communication.
- He or she evokes too many emotions.
Even when inexplicable connections arise, such as children together, the end of the relationship causes a minimum of emotions. Everything should already be lived and released. If every forced interaction is followed by an emotional outburst, even a negative one, it’s not much better.
If a person has a persistent desire to break an old psychological connection, it is better to trust a specialist and consult a psychologist. If he stubbornly holds on to it, perhaps, unfortunately, you are not new to him and have already grasped at straws. Decide whether you need such a relationship, but it is better not to have any special hopes for a calm and happy life, at least in the near future.
Don’t waste resources and energy on remaining an “alternate airfield.” Find the strength to go to new meetings and find love with free people.
