Online dating: what not to do on the first date
This never surprises people who date online. Currently, this is one of the most popular ways to find people both for a pleasant pastime and for a serious and long-term relationship. Some people even start families, so we can say with confidence that this method of dating is no worse than any other.
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However, there are nuances that should be kept in mind. If you are planning a first date after online dating, you should not do what.
Don’t expect too much
“Their eyes met, and they fell in love with each other immediately and for life.” This, of course, may be so, but expecting it today and on this day is a dangerous mistake. Moreover, even after several weeks of positive communication and a complete feeling that 100% can be a severe disappointment.
A photograph can be embellished (few people try to upload a less successful photograph), in “live” communication you can’t connect two words, but when there is communication, he was surprised at the wit and erudition.
First glance doesn’t solve anything
If a person doesn’t like it at first glance, he should be given a second chance. Sometimes a person does not get enough sleep or does not feel tired, or simply feels uncomfortable in some way. There are many situations, and the car is not always on top. Therefore, if there is no obvious defect in spiritual and social development in the form of rudeness, disrespect, cleanliness, impudent behavior or sexism, then there should be a second chance.
If a person likes you, you should give him another chance, but without an emotional storm, intense passions and “butterflies in the stomach.” Of course, you can’t go on a second date if the “butterflies” of dating, the intensity, are the target of the storm. However, if a serious relationship is needed, excessive emotions will only damage it.
Passion can interfere with an objective assessment of a person’s strengths and weaknesses, and emotions can lead to rash behavior. Additionally, couples whose emotions did not flare up immediately experienced a gradual flare-up, which usually resulted in stronger, more committed relationships. This is how they differ from those created under the influence of “chemistry”.
Honesty and simplicity
You don’t have to appear different to describe something and say it’s not in your soul and thoughts. This often happens when you really want to impress or are not afraid in advance. That’s how you won’t get anywhere – the deceptive visor is open. Therefore, the truth must begin to speak, to speak again, even during correspondence, even during private meetings.
What does this mean in practice? I want a stable relationship – say it right away, only easy ones without obligatory meetings – say it again. If your contact and your communication goals do not coincide, you need to find out as soon as possible. In our article on links you will find more information about dating serious men.
Read also: 6 steps to ensure that your first meeting with a girl goes well
in life, it turns out that a man must first get to know the girl. Of course, sometimes there are women who ignore several of the above-mentioned rules.
Don’t tolerate unacceptable behavior
Of course, patience is a serious virtue, and you need to cultivate it in every possible way, but there can be no compromises regarding behavior on the first date. There is no patience, no compromise. Rudeness, sexism, neglect, disrespect, harassment – all these moments say a lot about a person, and the longer and stronger the acquaintance, the more you hope that change will definitely come. Then it will be even worse.
In fact, there is an unconscious desire to appear better than you really are to strangers and unfamiliar people. If a person does not consider it necessary to hide these features of his for the sake of a first impression, there is no point in continuing communication. This behavior suggests that he does not care about the opinions of others or, even worse, that he is proud of the opinions of others.
Dating as an art: do’s and don’ts on the first date
Choosing the right location is half the success
First dates after meeting someone online are usually used to get to know the person better and compare how the image created on the Internet matches reality. Therefore, it is recommended to immediately refuse to go to the cinema, theater or concert. Finding out something new about a person who is staring at a screen or stage all night can be very challenging.
You should also avoid overly exotic locations, such as rope or trampoline parks. There, under the influence of adrenaline and unusual circumstances, you can learn many unexpected things about both yourself and your partner. Therefore, a café or a walk in the park is a better option.
The main thing is that the park isn’t too secluded, and the café isn’t located on the outskirts of town. Why not? The answer to this question can be found in the book Safety First Dating.
Safety precautions on the first date
Even if intense and sometimes frank responses create the illusion that the person is close and accessible, it’s just an illusion. This person may turn out to be completely non-existent in real life or not at all the one you saw while texting. Therefore, a decision must be made immediately – it could be anyone. In other words, you should fear them as a complete stranger until proven otherwise.
You cannot invite a stranger or someone you barely know into your home. It’s also dangerous to return to such a person’s home. Therefore, the first rule is to meet only on neutral territory. It’s recommended not to advertise your exact location at all. If someone offers to drive you to the meeting place, accept, but specify a nearby meeting point rather than the entrance.
For safety reasons, the meeting place should be fairly crowded. In public places, it’s easier to ask for help if any problems arise. For the same reason, it’s best to avoid strolling along shady paths or abandoned parks. When people already know, it’s better to go to the woods for a picnic.
Despite its apparent simplicity, online dating imposes additional challenges on establishing real-life communication. In real life, it’s harder to pretend to be someone you’re not, and there are fewer opportunities for deception and misrepresentation. However, the internet is fertile ground for scammers. Therefore, caution and caution are never a bad idea.
For more information on how to meet people online, read the article at the link.
