The nature of betrayal: why even the most faithful partner can take sides
The nature of infidelity remains a mystery to scientists who study human nature. It doesn’t happen on its own, it has a reason. Why do people cheat? Sometimes the problem lies within a person in his own emotional and life needs, but in a relationship it is all-consuming. However, the problem may also be within the couple.
Contents of the article:
Prerequisites for treason
Even the most loving and faithful person can be betrayed. According to anthropologists involved in human biology, its origin, development and predisposition to infidelity arose in the process of evolution. In the brain, attachment, sexual desire, and romantic attraction operate three different systems. As a result, you may be in a relationship with one loved one, but feel attracted to another and, accordingly, have sex with him. There is no conflict with the nervous system. Everything is as it should be.
However, biology, along with nature, has long lost its primary role in the moral standards established in society. From an ethical point of view, this is cheating, which is normal and does not go beyond the bounds of decency. Monogamy, which was established so long ago that all relationships were established and developed at the dawn of mankind, has been preserved in only a few traditional countries. Now monogamy rules the roost as the only correct system of relationships between men and women and marriage between them.
On the other hand, now a special cult of free and unrestricted sexual relations dominates in society, which, nevertheless, is condemned by the majority. The sexual revolution, the emancipation of women, and even the development of economics and industry had a strong influence on this worldview. People, especially women, have become more economically independent.
If earlier marriage was considered from the point of view of profit, inheritance, land, dowry, preservation and improvement (although the word was not known then), now it was easier to run a household. When families were larger. Now they are not so practical in choosing a life partner. Not all, of course, but, of course, they put love and personal sympathy first.
The opinion that the main cause of infidelity is intramarital relationships is erroneous. There are often cases when everything seems to be going well in their environment, and then difficulties begin. In fact, this is influenced by many factors beyond the control of the new partner. Therefore, he should not blame himself, at least not always.
One of the most common reasons is precisely the opportunity to go left. Therefore, psychologists believe that most often those who have a lot of personal free time change it. This is the second half of the year, working in a large company, communicating with a lot of people and frequent trips.
It is worth noting the ability to randomly search for the right person for a long time. However, this does not mean that a person will necessarily change. If there is an opportunity, he will only put pressure, which does not always lead to betrayal. Don’t limit your partner. For example, forbid him to communicate with friends and spend time alone. The person is simply unhappy, wants to be free and can do things that he had not planned before.
Read also: Five signs of a cheating partner and how to recognize them?
corruption is a common phenomenon from which no one is immune. Statistics show that today betrayal occurs 28% more often than 20.
Moreover, something does not always depend on him. Even the body itself can push him to cheat.
Biology and genetics
Certain hormones and neurotransmitters influence a person’s infidelity.
During sexual intercourse, the “pleasure hormone” is produced – the neurotransmitter dopamine, which is responsible for motivation, reward and learning. It affects romantic relationships and determines a predisposition to cheating, as scientists have found.
Dopamine is not only a hormone of encouragement, but also one of the creators of addictions, including love ones. When one of the couple behaves in a certain way and performs behavior that the partner likes, the partner’s brain perceives this as a kind of reward, an achievement. When a loved one’s behavior changes, the brain doesn’t follow through. This means they don’t get some of the dopamine. It needs to be replenished, and the search for another source begins. In fact, passion arises due to this hormone.
When a neurotransmitter is released, it is captured by dopamine receptors. Depending on the gene coding, there are only five of them: d1, d2, d3, d4 and d5. Due to several gene variations, the d4 receptor influences the tendency to be unfaithful.
Both of these hormones are responsible for human social behavior, including attachment and relationships with other people. Previously, it was believed that oxytocin was solely responsible for the attitude of parents towards their children. It was later discovered that it also develops between lovers. Thus, when couples begin to physically distance themselves from each other, hugging, cuddling, kissing, holding hands, having sex, production decreases, thereby weakening the attachment.
As for vasopressin, the process is also guided by variations in genetic coding that influence the tendency to rebel.
Female infidelity. the nature of female infidelity. what to do? what to do?
Human factor
Of course, physiological and social processes are important, but the problem is always far from them. There are many other factors that make people different from each other, namely:
- Unmet needs.
It happens that partners do not satisfy their personal needs for sexual and emotional planning and communication. A person simply does not get something from the relationships that he already has. Some people say that a soul mate must find a way to solve problems together. Others choose to cheat, often unconsciously, because they want a different experience, and cheating can provide that.
Some people need to be on top all the time; they need to be at the very bottom. Thus, they can be admired, they can be worshiped, they can be appreciated positively and only positively. Narcissists need to please everyone and feel unappreciated as a couple if this does not happen. They need to assert themselves. Partners cannot fulfill their desires, but others can. Compliments from others can develop into sympathy, which leads to rebellion.
Another need is to be close to someone to get attention. A loved one is constantly busy at work or something else, and the other begins to feel lonely. It all starts with simple friendship, which develops into something more. There is no need to be romantically involved, the person still loves their partner but sleeps with someone else. By the way, sometimes cheating is a way to add variety to life and relieve boredom.
Internal anxiety can lead to cheating for several reasons.
- People prone to anxiety need support. First of all, they expect this from the person closest to them, and if they do not find the answer, then they continue to look elsewhere.
- Fear that a loved one will leave, betray, or disappoint them because all is not well. By having an affair, such a person, so to speak, reassures themselves and, in this case, creates an opportunity to escape and not be alone. This isn’t a one-night stand, but a near-perfect relationship, parallel to the first.
- Fear of attachment.
Not everyone is ready for the commitment that comes with a romantic relationship. They are afraid to open up, even to their loved ones, to share their feelings with someone else. They need a “cold shower” to sort out their thoughts and calm their raging emotions. A stumbling block is precisely such a blow and is completely normal for them.
After a certain age, new fears and desires begin to awaken in people. People can deceive themselves to ward off thoughts of aging or desire more love, attention, and warmth. The same applies to marital crises after several years of marriage. nature, betrayal, faithful
