How to tell a girl that she doesn”t satisfy you in bed?
Difficulties happen in relationships. You may not want to talk about them, but that doesn”t mean they can”t be resolved in another way. Avoiding this topic will not have the desired effect in solving the problem. A vicious circle arises.
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The fact that you are bad in bed is a nightmare, and saying it in a veiled form so as not to offend is almost impossible. There are a few tips that can help you navigate those uncomfortable conversations while maintaining your relationship without causing it to become a meltdown.
Ask her how she feels about your sex life
Instead of telling the truth directly, you need to carefully begin the conversation and make sure that the girl is ready for the conversation. If you are unhappy with your sex life, the girl will feel it too. Perhaps she is afraid to start a conversation on this topic first. Ask her deep, gentle questions to find out what she thinks. “I”d like to discuss our sex life. I know it”s a bit of a touchy subject, but I think we should discuss it openly. What do you think about it? What do you think about our sex life?” — Options for how to start a conversation so that it is productive and not mutually offensive. Productive focus usually helps solve problems. Use it as a basis for conversation with your partner.
Don”t blame her
Blames do not stimulate development to become better. They close people off and leave them alone with their problems. If you put all the blame on the girl, she will be furious and upset (quite rightfully so). Instead of blaming, frame it as a joint problem that both need to solve. “See? I think we can work on our sex life. I want us to have the best sex and be satisfied with our sex life. Can we talk more about this?” Asking for an honest and thoughtful conversation almost always produces good results.
Talk to her about her sexual past
It may seem strange, but her past experiences may explain why she”s having bad sex now. Perhaps there was bad sex that makes her like/hate certain things or she is inexperienced in bed. Alternatively, she is dissatisfied with her body, and the complex is gnawing at her. Therefore, she cannot completely free herself. Sex is rarely understood only as sex, but also as many other factors that set the rhythm of intimate life.
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Ask her about things she liked in the past and about her past experiences. The best thing about this conversation is that you can naturally move on to talking about yourself, about what you like. I”m excited to learn more about what you like to do. I had one girl who did X and she loved it. Do you think you”re ready to do X?” In other contexts, talking about your past sexual habits is reckless, but now you both need to be honest about this.
Explain that dissatisfaction is not a permanent thing.
I”m not satisfied with sex with you. I don”t think we”re sexually unworthy of each other.” Making such statements is the worst thing you can do. Firstly, it will make you quarrel often, and secondly, such words sound final and irrevocable. Instead, he says, “I love sex and everything that comes with it. And I love you too, and over time we will learn to please each other. Let”s learn our body language so we can have some colorful orgasms.”
Be optimistic in this situation. You are not the first couple in the world to face this problem. Listen to each other”s wants and needs and make it clear that improvements are possible.
Suggest relevant solutions
Threesomes, anal sex, seductive lingerie, toys — things that cannot be foreseen. That”s all a girl needs to use you. This encourages her to see the problem within herself. All together this provides sex therapy. This is a great solution because you both take part in a process that improves the intimate side of life and does not cause discomfort to the girl. Conversations with professionals are a great example of how to handle complex and sensitive issues.
Show that you care about her
“I know this is hard to hear, but do everything you can to improve your sex life. I really love you and don”t want to lose you because of this. But after working on this, I”m sure everything will be perfect. Don”t understand that I”m wrong, I just want to make love to you more.”
Think about how you feel when you hear that you are not very good in bed: “I”m not very good in bed, I”m not very good in bed, I”m not very good in bed.” This is also inconvenient for girls. Reassure her that bad sex is not a reflection of your attraction or love, but just a small problem that is not in doubt. The main thing is subtlety and desire in deciding the quality of sex.
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