What guides men and women when choosing a partner?
Beauty is a subjective and diverse thing; no one is likely to argue with this. And most often, beauty is noticeable not so much to our eyes as to our heart. It’s not for nothing that the expression “You can’t order your heart” exists. Most people have experienced the feeling of falling in love at least once in their lives. And for everyone these feelings were played out differently. Some say it is like hundreds of arrows piercing the body at the same time. Some talk about the notorious butterflies in the stomach, others about the complete loss of sleep and rest, in which all thoughts are occupied only with the object of passion. But, in essence, these are descriptions of the same feeling. And if you ask a person in love what he actually found in the object of his love, he will not be able to give you a clear answer (especially if it is love at first sight). Contents of the article:
- “Everything has its time, to each his own.”
- About human fears
- Inner beauty is more important
- “Be straighter and stricter with me.”
for many, all the emotions described above go hand in hand with first love. It is always more beautiful than all subsequent ones, remembered for a lifetime and experienced more deeply. But what to do if the first love has faded away, and it is no longer possible to return the old feelings? The answer is outrageously simple – move on and look for a new one, which will be different, perhaps not even so pure and bright.
Gradually a person learns to separate the wheat from the chaff. With each new chosen one comes both experience and awareness of specific things that we are looking for in a partner. Sometimes such an electoral principle creates funny couples that, at a quick glance from an outsider, seem completely unsuitable for each other. But this does not prevent them from building and improving their relationships, since they know exactly what they need in these very relationships. But are there specific factors that influence a person’s taste when choosing a partner? This will be discussed further.
“everything has its time, to each his own.”
Love and beauty go hand in hand, but at the same time remain subjective. This is absolutely normal. What one person doesn’t like may delight another. And everyone seems to know this, but for some reason at a critical moment everyone forgets about this simple principle. That is, for example, you saw an unfamiliar couple on the street; in this pair there is a tall young man and a very short girl. You will probably briefly think to yourself that they look funny and outwardly do not suit each other, but at the same time they are together. This is because they have sincere feelings for each other (we hope) and do not need anyone’s approval from the outside. Each person’s preferences are unique, and that’s the beauty of it. That is why we can say for sure that every person is beautiful in his own way. And appearance here plays far from the first or even the second role.
about human fears
But here’s the paradox. People are afraid, for example, of some wild and dangerous animals; they frighten us and force us to act in the most terrible way, for example, to take their life or seriously injure them. It’s funny, the same thing happens when some people meet beautiful people along the way. The formation of this fear of absolute beauty lasts more than one century. The harmful influence of mass culture, the traditions of certain peoples, and elementary human essence are mixed here. Beautiful people here mean those who meet generally accepted standards of beauty (and here it is quite appropriate to ask where the subjectivity has gone, but we are talking exclusively about appearance and the fashion for it for each era).
It would seem that beauty should, on the contrary, inspire and give people admiration, but why does it scare ordinary people so much? And here the stereotype comes into play that for beautiful people this life is much simpler. They can choose almost any partner for themselves (they say, who would refuse a beautiful person), their choice is much larger, which means they are more arrogant. Ordinary people avoid handsome opponents out of fear of them. So, in fact, it is very difficult for the latter to find a trusted circle of friends; no one accepts them into the company, but they are ordinary people.
inner beauty is more important
Over time, trends in choosing a partner have changed significantly. Most people are already moving away from choosing based on external factors and focusing on what’s in the other person’s head, heart, and soul. Inner beauty and its beauty often become decisive factors when starting a romantic relationship. And this is where the principle of “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” comes into play. You might look at someone—outwardly, they’re unremarkable, hardly beautiful—but then they start talking or looking at you in a certain way, laughing at your jokes, and you see them as the most beautiful person in the whole world.
Appearances can truly be deceiving. A veneer can conceal a rotten soul or a completely empty core. You show up on a date with an attractive young man, and he can’t even string two words together. The evening is completely ruined, and you’re left feeling disappointed. It’s unpleasant, you’ll agree. But this doesn’t mean that appearances are unimportant. We don’t choose our “factory settings,” but we can learn to present ourselves as if we’re the most beautiful people in the world. A neat hairstyle, perfect makeup, neat and stylish clothes, combined with a great sense of humor, erudition, and good manners, can work wonders. The main thing is that it’s all sincere, because no amount of feigned nobility can win someone’s heart; falsehood will always be felt.
“be straighter and stricter with me.”
You’ve probably seen this situation on the street: a beautiful and striking girl walks by, and an uncouth boor trudges along beside her. The opposite can also be true, but that’s not the point. Most people will involuntarily wonder how these people even got together. It’s all about courage and incredible self-confidence.
Everyone likes good looks, there’s no point in pretending, but not everyone dares to meet a handsome person. And then that “bro” from the nearest gang enters the arena. And you know what, he often manages to storm the impregnable fortress, because it had no defenders. The fortress quickly surrendered because it simply had no one to rely on. And so, there you have it: the union of beauty and the beast. The lesson from this example is simple: don’t be afraid. It’s better to take a risk, take a step toward the person you like, gain confidence, and speak frankly. Rejection is also a result. But imagine that you suddenly hear not a refusal, but a yes. Men’s courage is highly valued by girls, no matter what they say, and women’s courage in relation to men is a treasure trove.
