Where does men’s fear of wealthy women come from?
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For a long time, women were inferior to men, playing a secondary role. In the last century, this situation began to change. Today, successful and wealthy women are a rare sight. However, not all men agree. Problems arise when there is an economic hierarchy in couples.
Contents of the article:
Winds of Change
Some men calmly accept the fact that women earn more. However, far fewer are deeply offended by this situation than others. It’s difficult to shake off stereotypes born at the dawn of human civilization in just a few decades.
Since primitive societies, the man has been the sole breadwinner and provider for the family. Biologically, they are much stronger and more resilient. Who, if not them, would hunt mammoths to bring home food? Women remained in caves and raised their children, awaiting the return of the miners.
During bloody wars, the male population also always came to the fore. This is logical, as they are the defenders of their land, wives, daughters, and mothers. However, after World War II, only local conflicts arose, usually very far from the country that set the global trend. Development, not survival, became the center of social life. Instead of meat, hides, and loot, money became the measure of strength and power. It is by money, or more precisely, by its quantity, that masculinity is measured in our time.
Women began to emerge from the shadow of men, fight for their rights, and achieve new heights. Of course, even before, as recently as a few decades ago, there were families where women played the role of “breadwinner.” But these families were usually single-parent, either because they lacked a father (recall the film “Moscow Does Not Believe in Tears”) or because they were disadvantaged. Today, the situation is completely different. She is “with her husband”, earns an income much higher than average and fully provides for herself, him and the children.
This is good? Certainly!!! She’s beautiful, she’s successful. However, the deeply rooted tradition, which prescribes the role of “breadwinner” only to the strong half of humanity, cannot leave people’s consciousness. Therefore, couples in which there is a role reversal still look atypical and even cause condemnation. This doesn’t only apply to men. Some women are convinced that they should be provided for. Until such views disappear from human consciousness, the following will happen.
How a Man Behaves
It’s sad to admit, but such disagreements have a negative impact on a person. His self-esteem is undermined, and the couple begins to experience difficulties in their personal and intimate lives. What do men start doing to improve their status? It is important to understand that not everyone does this, but such cases are not at all uncommon.
- Suppresses his woman.
The stereotype that “women stand at the stove” also destroys mutual understanding between the sexes. And men, outraged by the economic viability of their partner, can use it aggressively. “She not only earns money, but also does housework? He already feels economically disadvantaged, and now they violate his manhood and force him to do housework.
- Lies about how much money he makes
It is annoying and difficult to admit to the stronger sex that their income is less than that of the woman they love. Against this background, a complex develops, a bad mood and, worst of all, an attitude towards a loved one. At the same time, the girls themselves do not care how much money comes to their card every month. It is important for them to have a loved one nearby. Accordingly, they also want to receive love, not expensive gifts or utility bills. They often get their own benefit and even make their man look better. She and they are guided by the same norms of research that have become obsolete.
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In 2010, American psychologists and sociologists conducted a study in which couples of 18-28 year old people were in official and civil marriages. She had to determine the number of men cheating on their life partner. It was found that men cheating was five times more likely in couples where she earned more than he did.
This has two reasons of the same origin. First, the couple’s intimate life is reduced to a minimum or stopped. This happens due to misunderstandings, mutual claims and constant disputes. He needs release, and he looks for it on the sidelines. The second reason is to increase your own self-esteem. Sex is another indicator of male strength. It is widely believed that the more sexual partners he has, the higher his status among other men. By changing, he proves that he is very capable and that he is dangerous. In general, he is a real man, just like everyone else.
Fear of Men. Psychotherapy Session
And What Should a Woman Do?
- Do not place any obligations on the man in relation to the home. This does not mean that she should bring money to the family and do only housework. The process of moving from imposition to obligation cannot be changed. Imposition does not lead to anything good. Only his self-esteem will suffer. That’s when betrayal and illness begin. Don’t force, but ask for help, this will allow you to distribute what needs to be done and responsibility. This way the relationship can be balanced. Suddenly, even though he enjoys it, he decides to change things up by making a successful career.
- Don’t underestimate its merits. It is important for men to know that they are still miners, warriors and protectors. However, many high-income women “see” their partners, blaming, complaining and even shaming them in their sleep. She puts herself above him, and this leads to problems in the family and the destruction of harmonious relationships.
- Don’t manage your finances on your own. Psychologists have noticed that women who make financial decisions without taking into account the opinion of a man lose sexual interest. And this is insulting to him. Demonstration of independence leads to the fact that a man begins to feel unwanted. How long will this relationship last? This is unlikely.
We are talking about a working man who brings less money into the family than his wife. It’s another matter when he sits at home and spends his days at the computer or on the couch. But women themselves can push them with their behavior and the fact that they are trying to stop perceiving their partners as men.
So What’s the Bottom Line?
The world and the people in it are changing. Change is never easy, but there is no escape from it. This does not mean that we should accept the fact that women today earn more than men as breadwinners. This is not about modesty, but about the need to overcome fears and stereotypes imposed by society. Creating a family and distributing roles in it is precisely a family and a personal matter for each person. Constantly looking back at other people’s opinions and outdated traditions does not work to build happy and harmonious relationships.
Men need to stop being afraid of successful women. Because there’s nothing wrong with that. And women should not show their superiority and thereby frighten the opposite sex.
