What not to talk about on the first date to get a chance on the second
A first date can be compared to a minefield. You have little or nothing. You know about the person you are dating. Anxiety arises from the heart about what to say on the first date, not to say anything that will accidentally offend the interlocutor or put him in an awkward position. Nothing spoils the mood. There is also no chance of the relationship continuing in the form of premature jokes or inappropriate comments.
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sometimes, however, the opposite happens. You are sitting next to a person who acts as if he is looking for any reason and dislikes her in every possible way. This is because it is difficult to find the right topic without looking stupid.
There are some phrases that should not be said clearly, and there are some topics that should be avoided on a first date. They play in your favor and never play, no matter in what context they are stated.
About previous girls and boys
Saying that your ex knows something or did something, even if you found a way to cure cancer, is inappropriate on the first, second, or even third date. No one should tell a potential partner about the previous situation. Similar phrases: “one of my guys.” or “one of my girls.”. are also prohibited. People need to create the illusion that all the “former” ones are left behind and buried for a long time.
About appearance
Perhaps ask something like, “Do you always dress like this?” You’re not implying that it’s anything specific, but it’s unlikely. However, your interlocutor will clearly hear in these words a slight reproach against his appearance.
Or maybe you claim to have a better understanding of fashion? But even then, don’t proclaim it that way. This may seem strange, but such phrases are often heard on a first date and completely shock those to whom they are addressed.
About your musical tastes
Drop the phrase “I should teach you good music” during a conversation, but be inconsistent. This will dissuade your conversation partner, even if you are truly knowledgeable about all musical genres and new releases and know all the artists by name. But all your conversation partner hears in your words is that their musical views are overflowing and that it’s better to remain silent in front of experts and enthusiasts like you.
About kisses
Can I kiss you? The question “Can I kiss you?” can ruin a romantic mood. Even on a first date, when your partner is ready for physical affection, this is obvious. As a rule, only mood-killers ask permission for the first kiss. Sure, consent is sexy, but if you understand the situation is appropriate, don’t ask permission—go for it!
Read also: Online dating: what to avoid on a first date
this never surprises people who have met online. Currently, this is one of the most popular ways to find people, both for pleasure and for fun.
About meeting with parents
On a first date, it’s premature to talk about what happens when a man (or woman) meets your mother (or grandmother, or family). Some may be in favor of meeting the man’s parents and becoming involved in your personal life. However, most potential partners are intimidating. It can seem like you’re clinging to people with a death grip and never letting go.
About food and drinks
Ordering without asking what your partner prefers is unacceptable. Simply telling them, “I’ll get you a burger (or salad, or juice, or something else)” is unacceptable. You still don’t know your potential partner’s preferences and have no right to decide for them what they want.
5 phrases that will save a date if you have nothing to talk about
About plans for the future
It’s pretty awkward to plan a future together on a first date. You might assume your proposal is “we should go and do this together,” and other projects might seem appealing.
But in reality, you’re also creating the impression that the person who initiated it has already decided everything for both of you. After all, it remains to be seen whether the next meeting will happen. You need to wait until you become a committed couple before you can say “we.”
About racism, sexism, feminism and other “isms”
People think that enthusiastically expressing prejudice against a movement or foaming at the mouth is attractive. If you have something to say, you probably shouldn’t do it on the first date, otherwise you’ll probably never see each other again. In a dispute on such a topic, you risk exposing yourself in a completely unflattering light and dispelling all illusions about yourself.
About politics
Unless you both know what political views each of you holds, it’s best to avoid the topic. Such disputes can destroy even established relationships, especially during presidential elections. The last thing you should expect from your first romantic meeting is to find yourself in the middle of a conflict and listen to a candidate whom your interlocutor thinks is a fool.
About religion
Like the previous two topics, this is an even more sensitive issue. While it is important for people to know the religion (or lack thereof) of potential partners, they should find out in a neutral way, without discussing each other’s religious beliefs. In this case, there is a risk of touching people’s deepest feelings.
But you can find out more in our article on how to make a good impression when meeting a girl’s parents!
