Attachment style and smartphone: a non-obvious connection in relationships
Mobile phones are great tools for quick communication and entertainment. However, in romantic relationships it often becomes a real stumbling block.
Contents of the article:
Problem using phone
Sometimes it’s about excessive control. Sometimes — about the humiliating attempts of a partner to “get into” a phone or tablet. In some cases, partners do not have the opportunity to successfully talk in the evening, since in the evening each of them is immersed in the contents of the phone.
However, not all couples are negatively affected by smartphones. Psychologists decided to find out what factors are decisive in this matter. And one of these important conditions was, after all, attachment style.
What is attachment and why does it play a role?
In psychology, this term refers to the special relationship that develops between a child and a parent in the first two to three years of life (in most cases, the mother). Attachment is based on how the parent responds to the child”s needs for care, attention and more comfortable security.
If the mother is able to satisfy these needs, the child develops a secure attachment style. Thus, throughout his life, he can trust his loved ones without fear of betrayal or exaggerated fears of loss.
However, it often happens that a mother speaks negatively about her child. In this case, the child develops a less constructive style—an unsafe one. This attachment style is formed at a very early age, but is very important in becoming the template for a person”s future romantic relationships.
Read also: Using a mobile phone in bed can completely ruin your relationship
Tech giant Asurion studied the sleeping phone habits of Americans living with a spouse or long-term partner. Study.
Types of attachment
There are several problematic attachment styles known in psychology. One of them is avoidance: a person is not interested in the relationship and does not want to participate in it. People with this style find it difficult to trust others. They greatly value independence and autonomy from their partner. During disputes and conflicts, such people prefer to distance themselves.
People who are admirable types tend to be overly intimate with their partner. They want to be almost one with him. Naturally, everyone pushes them away. Such people are constantly afraid of rejection. It seems that partners can abandon them at any time. If disagreements arise or the threat of a breakup arises, they begin to hold on to their relationship with all the forces at their disposal.
Research shows that 30-40% of people do not have a secure attachment style. Dozens of studies on this topic show that the attitudes that a person learns in early childhood affect his friendships and romantic relationships, the development of sexual behavior and where he occupies in any social hierarchy. Recently, scientists are increasingly convinced that these factors also influence how a person treats his mobile phone.
How does the type of attachment affect the use of gadgets?
In 2011, researchers Weiskirch and Delevi found that people with an insecure attachment style were more likely to send sexually explicit messages (SO-Caled “Sexting”) to their partners. They also found that members of this category tended to text more often.
Regarding the evasive style, it was found that such people are much less likely to call or text their partners. They use email more often. The authors of the study suggest that representatives of this category prefer to use means of communication in which personal contact with other people is minimal.
It has been found that people with an anxious attachment type are more prone to conflicts in situations where their partner is immersed in gadgets for a long time. They suffered from the fact that their lovers paid little attention to them. Such people also believed that the main purpose of a smartphone was communication, rather than entertainment or other features.
