Free love and sex in California”s freest commune
This article features a book by Neil Strauss (originally titled The Truth: An Eye-Opening Odyssey through Love Addiction, Sex Addiction, and Unusual Relationships). Tremble, lovers of literature and experimentation. The secret chambers of human vices have been reopened.
Contents of the article:
Background
Neil spent almost four years researching the material and compiling it into a book. The theme of the work is as old as the world itself: relationships between people. However, the relationships described in the book are not conservative.
The experiment was undertaken with a very important goal: to find out whether there are better ways to build relationships in the world than traditional monogamy.
Just together
Honestly, what helped us was that we accepted the idea that life is beautiful and that each of us is perfect. This is our philosophy. It was she who connected us,” the revelation of the beautiful Ilana. This is very uplifting.
Ilana belongs to Lafayette Morehouse, one of the longest-running and successful communities in San Francisco. It has existed since 1962 and has managed to gain followers all over the world. In addition to Ilana, the author also met Judy and Colin — these people, on average 40 to 50 years old, live in a very unusual and courageous way.
As you can imagine, the commune was organized by unusual individuals — former marines, bouncers and gangsters, full of charisma and unusual ideas. The hero”s name was Vic Barranco. The association was created for experiments — to enjoy the joys of life not alone, but with a group of pleasant people. Live Fast, Die Young — Mr. Barranco has never given the impression of being a law-abiding citizen living a life that would be envied by a seasoned rock star, and at an early age.
According to former residents of Lafayette, life in the commune was full of surprises and adventures. After a long absence from the commune, they might find their wives in the arms of another or learn that they had moved to another room. Boredom and routine were clearly alien to these people.
The Lafayettes thought about it and organized a boxing ring. Did I already mention that you don”t need to be bored?
Before seeing the very unusual communal life with his own eyes, Neil read many books on the subject — among them Wet Fantasies, Writers” Fictions and Very Reliable Literature.
The gap between what writers come up with and what readers are prepared to perceive, and what actually happens in the commune is huge. Why do communes survive? Share, endure, be ethical. What are the causes of conflicts? Hostility, bickering, delusions of grandeur and thoughtless acceptance of new members by local leaders.
Strauss decided to see life in the existing commune with his own eyes. All roads led to the three most stable, long-lived and famous communities. Zega Community in Germany, Osho Ashram in India and finally Lafayette Moorhouse in California where we are from.
We wish you all the best. That”s our plan. says Judy, a frail brown-haired woman with hoop earrings dangling from her ears.
Every vote counts
Judy talks about one of the most interesting rules of the commune: “One vote against.” Great and powerful, this rule can be translated as “against one vote.”
Can you tell me more?” Nair asked, surveying those present. They don”t seem freakish or uninvolved. What”s simply fascinating is that they seem completely indifferent to fashion, trends and other social fads. Stret notes that “if I walked past them on the street, I would think they work in a library, where there is no strict dress code.”
Judy, on the other hand, happily explains the one-vote rule. If at least one person opposes one of the events (innovations, reforms, etc.), his vote is taken into account. The majority opinion is the law, but not Lafayette. There is no “majority” or “minority”. Everyone”s voice is important here. There will be no repeat voting. Respect for other people”s opinions is the main law of the commune.
During the entire existence of the commune (45 years, 1 minute), they voted “against” only twice. If someone feels uncomfortable, voting can be replaced by frank and calm dialogue.
This approach is stimulating. When all residents of a commune have equal power and influence, there is no need to shake fists and brawl.
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It just happens in romantic films: they collide, meet their eyes and soon realize that they are meant for each other. Yes, of course, c.
Help
We always take care of at least one person who needs help,” says Judy. “It could be a homeless person or a person who needs a break from the outside world. We don”t have to do this, but Morehouse does. It”s a reminder of how lucky we are in life to have all these blessings. And how to repay all these benefits.”
“Seriously? How difficult is it to share housing with housing itself without being invited to the threshold of homelessness?” Neil is surprised.
“This can promote group cohesion, as bonding is facilitated by either common friends or common enemies.” Of course, you will have to work hard to unite in caring for someone else, because uniting with a common enemy is often much easier,” our friend explains.
Is gossip a good thing?
Here Ilana makes a shocking announcement. “We”re all about gossip. We talk about each other behind their backs.”
She goes on to say that if they choose to share their lives with these people, then one should still expect that they all have good intentions. If something happens, it needs to be discussed, and there is nothing wrong with that.
“We know everything!” — Judy objects. — Good: “Listen, did you see her face? In my opinion, something upset her. Let’s talk to her and find out everything.”
Therefore, gossip is caused by sincere interest and concern for each other. And instead of mutual surprise and destruction, the residents of Lafayette prefer direct conversation.
Chief asshole
So, what to do with a person who annoys everyone, but is not going to change and does not give in to persuasion? Ask him to leave the commune?
These unwanted neighbors are called “the biggest haters.”
“No matter how small the group, someone will fill that position. I assure you. Don”t be tempted to say, “Hey, our group would be great if Gary, who uses all the toilet paper, didn”t refill the trays with ice cubes, etc.”” Judy explains patiently.
So you get rid of Gary”s haters and everything seems to be going well, but suddenly the “Biggest Hater” post gains a new hater. And it turns out to be even worse than the previous one. You keep removing members of the commune until you are left completely alone. And here we see who the big haters really are.
This is deeply ingrained in Mr. Strauss”s mind. It is often said that our world would be better under certain political regimes or without certain people, religions, countries or ideas. However, there will always be certain “fanatics” in the world. We view Nazis, Stalinists and extremists as such, and they try to convince people that they are the main evil in their views.
Sex trends in 2020. liquid vibrators?! free love!
Diversity of roles
Of course, Neil was interested in the distribution of roles in the commune, and he asked if there were other less pleasant roles than those mentioned above.
One of the key roles is simply happy people. They may not have electrical, plumbing, computer, or cleaning skills. But as soon as they appear, those around them feel better. It”s not a role where you can pick someone and say, “Okay, you”re our lucky guy.” It”s an accident.”
Colin adds, “There are many more roles,” and finally gets the floor. He has a boyish face framed by gray hair. His tone is calm, but sometimes annoying. Some people challenge it, others accept it. Some people have no idea what”s going on, what we”re doing here,” he continues.
They look like they are from outer space. They don’t read email or communicate with anyone,” explains Judy, who has already become one of us.
I do what I want
In fact, there aren”t that many rules. Basically, they concern ownership, plus the cool “one vote against” rule. The most important rule of the commune is that you don’t have to do anything you don’t like.
And, perhaps, another rule is to respect the oddities and idiosyncrasies of other people.
Sex
As Judy reminded her, time was running out. It”s time to ask the question Neal has been pondering all this time.
“What about sex?”
As always, Judy answers first. She says that when so many people live together, strong sensual energy inevitably arises. In ordinary couples, passion subsides after the honeymoon, but with such a busy life, emotions always run high.
“So are there any rules regarding sexual contact?” — Mr. Strauss intends to obtain the maximum amount of reliable information.
Yes, there is one rule that I have already heard about. One vote against. We believe that people can do whatever they want as long as everyone involved agrees. If my husband and I want to have an open relationship, that”s our business. The main thing is that I don’t disagree with what he does,” Ilana says frankly.
This is probably the best thing I”ve heard about relationships,” Strauss says. “But how do you deal with jealousy?”
Judy presses her chest to her heart again. Jealousy is a big problem. There is only one form of jealousy, which occurs when a person feels alienated. But when you realize that you can enjoy and enjoy the energy bubbling in your body, the problem disappears.
Where are we? People can exist in monogamy. However, relationships require effort and hard work.
