Midlife crisis in women
For some reason, in our long-emancipated society, it is believed that mid-life crises only occur in men aged 30-40. But in this life, not only men cry. If we talk about the psychological problems of women, perhaps the conclusion will follow about the whims, hysterics and a certain “new Delia” of our “breadwinners”. But in fact, the term “midlife crisis” has existed as a scientific term for more than 50 years.
Contents of the article:
What is it?
A midlife crisis is similar to the transition period of adolescence, only 35 years old; a cowboy who behaves like an immortal and desperate, while at the same time, like a 16-year-old child, he is sure that he knows everything, unconsciously afraid of later life, the unknown, a rebel, action, then a more mature age, for example. period are radically opposite.
Typically, the woman he catches up with may already be married or perhaps already divorced, perhaps with children, a job, property, etc. This is the moment of analysis, summing up intermediate results, when a kind of modification of their life occurs.
Auditors are often disappointed. Everything was destroyed long ago, and the bar was put on public display. Beauty is not the same as being a 22-year-old girl; a child is an adult living life. The parents have already grown stronger and have completely left for another world. In any case, my husband believes that all this depression is empty chatter and women”s whims.
But when, by the age of 40, a purposeful, successful and beautiful woman has achieved everything she dreamed of, then here is another option. Here is the moment of the apocalypse: hesitation, inaction, panic, there are no more dreams left, the goal has been achieved. This is the end!
Such a revaluation of values is inevitable at this stage due to its own importance.
How and why does the women”s crisis manifest itself?
In general, the pattern of development of a female midlife crisis depends on the main life priorities. The more clearly a woman defines her path, the more worried she will be if her expectations are not met.
Life priorities aimed at the well-being of the spouse and children are violated by error at the moment when the chick flies out of the mother”s nest and its care loses its consumer. Divorce or widowhood is a risk factor because the “recipient” of attention and love has evaporated, but the potential still remains. This often results in bitterness, depression, melancholy and depression.
There is an example from life when such a “teacher” at the age of 40+ discovered that her family was divided and the majority were far from being educated. She took care of minor children. Conventional methods of change are very difficult, especially at such an “inflexible” age. Any perestroika shakes such firmly established foundations, and crises are inevitable.
When a woman divides her life between family and work, the balance is often very fragile, and she has to critically evaluate herself in both respects. After consulting, you should understand that both are very difficult. Conflicts are inevitable because not everyone can maintain a high standard throughout their lives.
Indeed, the childhood crisis is most difficult for childless women. Loneliness hangs over me, there is no meaning in life, no, it seems that it never existed. It was all in vain. It is more difficult for such women to justify their “shortcomings”. Mothers can at least somehow compensate for the lack of time for their children.
The causes of the crisis are also completely different, less abstract, but very concrete.
- Professional stagnation — during the charter or after the order, motivation for the chosen task disappears, even worse if it is chosen against one’s own desire. You quickly get used to the role of a housewife and do not want to participate in the same work rhythm.
- Fear of loneliness — after 30 years, many women panic due to the lack of suitable men and children. So here the pursuit is no longer determined by the quality of family life, but simply by the fact of a person’s presence; and in many such cases everything happens according to the proverb “on meringue and cancer — oh fish.”
- Fear of death — old age, end of life, transition from growth to aging, reluctance to change, etc.
- Family reasons — in our mature times, even a change of surname after a second or first marriage may turn out to be unsuccessful, causing an identity crisis, i. e. decision about one”s belonging. Even this category can include the struggle for the attention of women in the family.
Read also: How does a man”s midlife crisis manifest itself?
There are many myths surrounding the male midlife crisis, and dozens of jokes are made around it. However, this is a serious psychological phenomenon.
In addition, if you”re lucky, depression, lack of regular work, loneliness and imminent menopause await you. All this can only worsen the condition.
Main symptoms
According to scientific research, a woman’s crisis of maturity manifests itself in one of four ways. These patterns of behavior clearly reflect the patient”s character.
- “How much effort you spent!” And as a result. — This is how nurses justify their experience.
- “I can do so much, but the best years were spent at home, soup with children” — this is a remark from a woman who dreamed of a career, but gave up in the face of family problems.
How to recognize the problem?
Representatives of the fair half of humanity are currently characterized by the following symptoms.
- Irritability
- Anxiety
- Passion for conflict;
- The mood changes like spring weather.
- Lack of vital energy;
- The desire to live when the feeling of an early end is especially strong.
- All-consuming loneliness.
- Perception of self-worthlessness;
- The future looks boring, gray and dull.
- Ground pessimism;
- Dissatisfaction with your job and education received.
- Contradiction between reality, desires and plans.
- Loss of attractiveness, vitality and any stimulation.
All of them can be divided into four groups:
- Emotional — constant negativity, even to the point of depression.
- Behavioral — dependencies and conflicts.
- Cognitive — reassessment of views, thoughts about the meaning of life, thoughts about divorce.
- Physiological or hormonal — sexual desire, menopause, somatic decline.
When compared to a man”s midlife crisis, the categories are identical for both sexes, but often look different.
5 questions about midlife crisis in women
How to avoid a midlife crisis?
The emptiness characteristic of such a state is completely absorbed. It is very difficult to do something, to start changing something, to move from thoughts to actions. Sometimes unity with yourself, calmness, can be a real cure. Perhaps the idea of a category will pass, emotions will subside, and the crisis will recede.
Women in crisis do a great job of self-awareness and sorting everything out. It is important not to confuse this with depression, which does not go away spontaneously. A woman”s midlife crisis can last from one to three years, but it will certainly pass.
Yes, for some this is impossible without professional help, but for others it is enough to cry into their pillow for several nights and have a serious conversation with their husband. But on the other hand, women who have overcome this condition feel a new surge of strength, begin to breathe deeply, new opportunities open up before them, and they already see themselves in a different light.
It is important not to rush headlong into the process of self-discipline, but from time to time to straighten your shoulders, take a breath, say nice things to yourself and surround yourself with positivity. Often, some new hobbies, such as sports, a new job or hobby, training, new acquaintances, vacations, activities with children can save or even prevent.
If you do not pay attention to the advice, you may regret the consequences that do not await you.
- Women are at risk of becoming narcissistic, vain, arrogant and aggressive bitches who become obsessive, hysterical and bickering.
- Disagreements with family and relatives can leave them completely without loved ones.
- Crises that occur in unfaithful or casual relationships can have a significant impact on health over a short period of time.
- There is a significant risk of developing neurosis due to mental shock.
- You can give away property or even a job.
- Saving with sweets is accompanied by overweight and diabetes. Drinking alcohol for these purposes makes the situation even worse.
- And the worst thing is suicide.
Treatment options
The most important thing that all psychologists talk about out loud is the realization that a midlife crisis is inevitable, that this is not the end of life, but a difficult stage, after which everything will shine with new colors. Everything that happens in a woman’s head reflects certain chronic diseases, accumulated fatigue and a significant amount of knowledge collected over a lifetime.
Think of a midlife crisis as a reset. If you experience all this correctly, you will lose less and gain more.
Listed below are some measures that can help overcome this unfortunate crisis.
- Ignore the media — the imposition of standards and ideals is most often the main reason for the low self-esteem of many women, especially the obsession with youth, which in modern media reaches a whole new level.
- Emotional control — count to ten, do breathing exercises, resort to sedatives if something makes you very agitated, but most importantly, don’t get carried away with the last option.
- Pay attention to rest — this is very important. Yes, the pace of life may slow down, but the risks are less. Create a daily routine, learn to plan your activities, get a car to get more done, need your own relaxation corner at home, take a bath more often and relax with the help of water.
- Don”t give up on physical activity — sport not only helps to distract you, but also helps fight age-related changes in physical fitness.
- Learn something new — a profession, language, craft or new knowledge increases self-esteem and importance.
- Refresh your relationship with your spouse — it”s always better to take the first step than wait for it. You may grow old. There is no need to experiment with intimate relationships. Travel, refresh your memories, look at old family photo albums, talk about children (which you already have or will have).
Something interesting about the midlife crisis in women
Years of psychological tests, experiments and research have revealed many interesting facts about the lives of the fair sex beyond certain boundaries.
