7 stages of development of relationships between a man and a woman
An analysis of past relationships begins, or when nostalgia overwhelms you and you want to remember how it all began. Often people conclude that past experiences are similar. It seems that all events develop in a circle and always go through the same stages of relationships. This is a natural process for a healthy relationship, and it should go through all periods of relationship development in order to become even stronger.
Contents of the article:
Why do relationships go through stages of development?
The harmonious development of a couple must go through various stages of relationship development. It is impossible to be constantly satisfied with sweets and bouquets, long walks under the moon, constantly satisfied with relationships and meetings several times a week. Of course, this is a convenient formality, but it is impossible to build a long and lasting relationship this way. Attachment is formed at the stage of falling in love, and hormones are overflowing. It seems that the world has stopped without a loved one. Gradually, passion disappears, violent sex replaces marital duties, children appear, and everything becomes ordinary and gray. From the outside it may seem that the couple is stuck at some stage of development, but nothing else happens. The transformation of a couple’s relationship takes place according to its own scenario with its own speed and characteristics, despite the fact that all stages of development are the same. It”s hard to deny that as we age, everything changes, demands become more numerous, complaints appear, and at the moment it is necessary to grow and develop along with the relationship. Ignoring the work of the union can permanently stop at the very beginning. Then a breakup occurs, and it is quite logical that the relationship ceases to exist. Every couple needs to know the stages of building a relationship, what they are and how to go through them in order to maintain a harmonious relationship.
Stages of relationships: features and ways to overcome
Past relationships provide very valuable experience of mistakes and overcoming them. If the relationship falls into the “before” category, it means that something could not be overcome and move to the next stage. Healthy and promising relationships go through the same stages of development at the ages of 18 and 50. And how long they last depends on the right behavior and approach.
First stage
Relationships begin at this stage and sometimes end there. In the easiest phase, when lovers see only the positive in each other, the partner is a wonderful hero, a real prince or princess, and it seems that it’s all about the dream. Your heart is pounding wildly in your chest, your cheeks are burning, your eyes are lighting up, you want to take each other’s hands and walk for a long, long time. At the moment, time slows down with the joy of a small and sweet SMS, without a single message from your loved one on the phone.
Guys behave like brave knights, ready to do anything to win the heart of the woman they love. Girls tend to idealize the image of their lover. This is very normal. When you don’t really know a person, haven’t seen him in everyday life or in conflict situations, it’s easy to come up with an airy image and endow him with the desired qualities. Each date is recognized as the most important meeting, for which several hours are allocated for preparation. The state of love is inspiring. I want to shout about love to the whole world, write poetry, admire ideal relationships and wonderful people nearby. You will not be able to compensate for the emotional hunger from lack of communication with your loved one. If the relationship breaks down at this stage, it will forever be remembered as the best relationship in which everything is perfect.
Second stage
The second phase inevitably comes, in which a feeling of fullness arises. Communication brings the same pleasure, and there is no need to spend every minute together. At the second stage of the relationship, the need to go everywhere together disappears and the next visit to a friend or to an event becomes the norm. Leisure becomes less romantic, and evenings can be spent together, lying on the couch watching your favorite movie or TV series. Gradually, passions subside, and every minute of anticipation of intimacy is not perceived as a disaster. Relationships become more harmonious and calm, everything goes smoothly. Partners are revealed, strengths and weaknesses of character are shown. The veil of love gradually subsides, shafts, shortcomings, and character flaws become noticeable.
Everyone begins to behave more naturally, everyone jokes, and there is no longer any need to praise your partner for his actions. Communication is just as warm, surprises are exciting, pleasant and fun. Emotions become more stable, relationships develop evenly, and nothing threatens to break up. Development at this stage resembles a hungry traveler who has already eaten the first fruits and is calm, balanced, tender and satisfied.
Third stage
All couples or young spouses enter important and crisis periods that occur over several years. There comes a turning point in the relationship, and it becomes impossible to hide all the problems. Every move, every misspoken word, every inappropriate joke, once touched, now causes an immediate surge of emotions and a stream of accusations in response. A loved one and close person causes negative feelings, he becomes inadequate and behaves in a way that he did not allow. The romance has gone, perhaps children have appeared, and it has become impossible to see the same face in front of you every day.
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The length of the period depends on the duration of the relationship, the partner’s temperament, wisdom and ability to critically evaluate everything external and understand that this is a normal phase. There is no need to act like a partner. Getting upset at the behavior and starting to scream your heart out for all the kids at the table is not the best option. Most couples break up at this stage. There is a belief that a partner cannot meet all their needs and that their choice of preferences is incorrect. All due to the lack of nourishing and intoxicating emotions that previously delighted the brain.
Refusal of the alliance and severance of relations is the easiest way out. The new partner gives pleasure to the same number, and then everything repeats again. If you don”t want to constantly end your relationship and look for a new partner for life, you must learn to move on to the next stage of development by going through the third phase.
Fourth stage
You overcome the stages of crisis behind you. Problems become less noticeable, wisdom and understanding gradually come, thanks to which you can come to an agreement with loved ones and find solutions to problems. Understanding develops into a more mature, adult, morally prepared relationship. At this stage, you need to understand that everything changes, everything endures, I may not endure and think, I may not think, I may not think, I can resolve conflicts and turn a blind eye to minor irritating factors. The big problem is to look at the world with negativity and constantly convince yourself that others are to blame for the problem. The realization must come that half the blame for problems and verbal negligence must fall on both partners. Previously, it seemed that the relationship had reached a dead end, and instead of day after day, it seemed that there were no quarrels or problems. Now quarrels have become different, rare and most often caused by external stimuli. Problems at work, women”s monthly cycles, sudden car breakdown and other irritants can cause quarrels. It”s like dissipating your partner”s emotions and making it easier for them to act.
Patience and wisdom, like threads, sew relationships together where they are constantly maintained. Patience should not be confused with bullying, assault, moral violence against family members and minor offenses. In the first case, you need to call the police, your partner has suddenly become angry and does not want him to understand what he is doing wrong. You need to work on your ego and allow your partner to change and re-evaluate his needs and desires. There is no better romantic aura than this. Never greet someone from work at the office door with a bouquet of flowers. There is a reliable partner next to you, proven by many people. They resolve minor conflicts taking into account the situation and do not demonstrate hundreds of harsh words. At this stage, a person truly opens up, and the success of the transition to the fifth stage depends on how he is perceived and accepted.
Fifth stage
Learning to feel the uniqueness of a partner, his needs, desires and obligations to him is the first step towards true love in its highest manifestation. Love is already at the threshold and waiting for it to enter the house. A clear recognition of the fact that the spouse or spouses are not ethereal beings made of clouds and kindness. A living person, the success of our future relationship depends on the problems, concerns, thoughts, arguments and understanding of my obligations to him. He is imperfect, but He loves, tolerates and understands me. Our duty and our main responsibility is to behave towards our spouse. I don”t want to shout over nothing. There is no scandal, because candles and romance are in short supply. To benefit, it becomes clear that you need to apply your own strength, rely on your partner and not expect behavior from him.
At this stage, debts to the family and children are recognized. An unremarkable family oven, a good dinner, the wisdom and understanding of your partner, spending time together, the desire to seek and find answers to all questions — the key to success at the fifth stage remains. Trainings, consultations with a psychologist and books help you find answers to all stimulating questions. You need to constantly work on your personal development as well as your relationships. Maintaining interest in yourself and being a harmonious addition to your partner is something that cannot be maintained in a relationship for decades.
Sixth stage
In the second stage, after the end of the relationship, partners become lovers, parents, and also true friends. There comes a time when another incompatible glass no longer causes an emotional explosion, sex is not so bright, but emotional intimacy covers everything completely. These are two truly close people who endured all the difficulties and hardships, found the secret of understanding, fulfilled their duty to their children, went through all the temptations and left together. This is where such a desired fairy tale appears — “they lived happily ever after,” which perfectly describes the state of affairs.
Long-familiar, but with new features and advantages. Love has not yet reached its most important stage, but it is already approaching it. Two people are ready to have fun, communicate openly and spend time together. These relationships are built on loyalty, boundless trust and advocacy for the common good.
Seventh stage
Absolute love. The highest point of development for a couple, a goal to strive for. At the first stage, there is nothing that could be called love. At the beginning of a relationship, it is a desire to physically possess a person, intensified by a cocktail of love, passion, and hormones. It is impossible to reach the seventh stage immediately after falling in love. Years must pass for the seed to grow into a beautiful flower that will delight with its beauty and perfection for a long time. This happens in relationships too. The highest love comes through trials, conflicts, quarrels, misunderstandings. Don”t be afraid to test, always look around, and remember that the most beautiful and pure feelings remain at the beginning of a relationship. Now it is clear that the most important, the most decisive spiritual union comes as a reward for all the difficulties.
It is easy to encounter and fall in love with a beautiful image where everything seems perfect, so perfect and ideal. The most difficult thing is trying to build a relationship and find ways to resolve disputes and conflicts. All relationships are similar and convey the path of transformation from love to absolute love. This is a complex task, requiring great spiritual strength, endurance, and perseverance. It”s appropriate to compare the development of relationships and their growth to trees. Initially, they sprout small shoots, and only after decades of lush canopy and beauty begin to delight them does their roots firmly anchor them in the earth. Natural disasters can destroy them.
