A loving person will forgive everything: fact or fiction?
Both men and women experience betrayal. Betrayal is a powerful blow to self-esteem. The bad behavior of a loved one destroys the happy world we”ve known for years. In such moments, feelings of misunderstanding, anger, and abandonment arise.
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After the emotional shock, the question arises: is it worth forgiving betrayal? Some people claim that their loved one forgives everything and turns a blind eye to their partner”s mistakes. But is this really true?
Is it worth breaking up because of betrayal?
Articles in glossy magazines, posts on microblogs, statements by psychologists on television—all this is based on the expectation that a loved one will forgive and give a second chance. Loved ones forgive everything—that”s the message the editors of “Girls and Women Psychologists” want to convey. But do women feel better after forgiveness? Most likely not. Under the intense pressure of public opinion, women forget their own pride and self-respect, the betrayal of loved ones, endure betrayal, and then forget about it. And what happens next? Then the outrageous behavior continues, and each woman gradually loses a part of herself and becomes unhappy. This leads to self-destruction and depression. Of course, women can convince themselves that everyone has the right to make mistakes, that they need to seek compromises and empathize with their loved ones. And this, in principle, seems convincing. But there”s a real red flame within it, a misunderstanding, a resentment, and, on a subconscious level, a feeling of hatred for the once-loved partner arises.
A person who betrays their beloved partner does not respect or value their feelings. Then, after forgiveness, they repeat the same behavior again and do something even more painful. Forgiving infidelity is a challenge that suggests it can be done in the future. What would a man think then? What they forgave once, they will forgive again. If a young man is initially less attached to his partner, then after her mercy, this will fade over time.
Read also: The whole truth about male infidelity: no myths, just facts! much literature can be devoted to the relationship between a man and a woman, but some topics remain unaddressed. However, the famous saying:
It”s naive to think that after such a bold step, a person will change, be filled with compassion, and never commit another bad act. Unfortunately, this doesn”t work in the male psyche. And in most cases, a gentle, patient woman suffers again and again. Her loved one forgives everything—and this is what her partner leads to with subsequent betrayal. This doesn”t mean her partner is a tyrant and abuser; he may communicate with other women in a very polite and respectful manner. This suggests that the woman doesn”t put herself at risk and sets a similar example for her man. However, each case is individual and unpredictable. It”s impossible to accurately predict the future of a particular couple. Therefore, forgiving infidelity is a purely personal matter for each woman.
“Understand. Forgive.” Episode 276 — Addiction
What are the possible consequences?
The most powerful blow a male partner can inflict is infidelity. Of course, infidelity can be the woman”s fault—neglecting intimacy with her partner, or showing an interest in sex in the morning. This doesn”t excuse the betrayer. In such cases, it”s important to resolve the issue together, seek professional help, and resolve the situation piecemeal, rather than rushing to relieve the need elsewhere. What are acts of mercy that help women become: a.
- Low self-esteem. Betrayal lowers self-esteem in any case. However, when infidelity is forgiven, the bar for oneself is lowered to the baseboard. An offended and insulted woman will see the betrayer every day, and her own sense of futility will become more and more apparent. It”s easier to cope with this state during a breakup or separation.
- The emergence of delusions. Betrayal is a factor that sows further doubts, sometimes reaching the point of paranoia. After infidelity, a woman cannot trust her partner any longer, even with the best desire to do so. Doubts still arise on a subconscious level, and the brain conjures up unpleasant images, leading to constant stress and inner tension.
- Constantly analyzing the situation. If the partner manages to suppress his feelings of guilt and beg for forgiveness, the woman will spend a long time recovering from the shock and replaying the situation in her mind. In a fit of anger, an image is born—a sexual scene with her husband.
In the disgraced woman”s mind, the only appropriate response to betrayal emerges: to respond in kind. However, psychologists argue that “cheating on betrayal” is not at all consistent and is a tactic of an adult. In the conformity of despair, you should not stoop to the level of the betrayer. This way, he has nothing to prove, and the woman will feel even worse on the way home after the betrayal. Read our article to learn how to forgive betrayal correctly.
Infidelity, Betrayal, Loss, and How to Start Living? Psychologist Larisa Bandura.
