A woman keeping a gigolo: is she happy?
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Modernity is characterized by previously unseen phenomena. For example, changing gender roles. Increasingly, women can meet couples in which there are men, but not vice versa. Society has an ambiguous attitude towards such facts.
Contents of the article:
Attitude towards parasites in Soviet times
In Soviet times, the attitude towards men sitting on women”s necks was unambiguous.
Daria Dontsova vividly describes such dependents. These are overgrown children who are used to sitting behind their mothers or grandmothers. Who do not have the skills to support themselves in everyday life, and therefore they are looking for a wife to take over the family tradition. They tolerate it because they can’t imagine what it’s like. And also because he is a genius. Usually it is literary, not very scientific, does not corrupt and shows people what real talent is (where is Pushkin!). In anticipation of the release of his work, he sleeps soundly and eats well, without thinking about where the objects and food in his home come from.
In most cases, such stories end badly — either with the complete financial collapse of the family, or with a dubious scam in which the “genius” dies or goes to prison.
Therefore, writers express a general opinion and treat slackers and freeloaders with contempt. This can rightfully be called the Soviet position, since in that society it was customary to consider men as breadwinners and heads of families. This was the only way, and there were no exceptions.
Times have changed, has the attitude towards parasites and women pretending to support men changed?
Why is keeping a man bad?
Why should women support men? Obviously because he doesn”t earn enough to support himself and also court women.
Women trainers say this should be avoided. Otherwise, the energy of low income, like infectious diseases, will be transmitted to the girl. And the world population increases by one poor or needy person.
And they add that men’s privilege is to give, including money, and women’s privilege is to receive. And we pay not with money, but with other values, such as love, affection, support and attention.
It is difficult to dispute the fact that energy permeates everything in our world, but whether it is contagious remains to be seen.
But from a psychological point of view, other facts are known that show that the women”s motto “I support men” is bad. Because:
- This causes women to deliberately take the wrong position — I can influence him. Despite the fact that it has long been proven that you can only change yourself, women continue to believe in their exclusivity, in the fact that they can change a man. Such situations always end in failure, heartbreak and the belief that happiness is impossible.
- Gigolos are ordinary people who follow the laws of psychology, which state that our subconscious controls our lives. Then there is the age-old basis that it is right to support a woman alone and live off her. Consciousness, on the other hand, forces us to do the opposite, causing internal conflict. As a result, our lives become stressful, we suffer from alcoholism, drug addiction, gambling addiction and depression.
- When women give money to men, this situation gradually makes them perceive her as their mother. They don”t sleep with their mothers. The sexual component of the relationship loses its meaning, and the situation becomes even more complicated.
- Statesmen do not suffer from stupidity and know how to have fun. For example, he invests money from a woman at his own expense, and she weaves a new fairy tale. The same thing happens in relationships. He understands that design cannot be trusted. This means that he must always be ready to dive into the search. Or you may not wait for the right opportunity, but prepare an alternate airfield now. Treason is a characteristic feature of such unions.
Needless to say, from a psychological point of view, things don”t look so rosy. And women need to think seriously before entering into such relationships.
A new look at an old problem
However, over time, morality changes. There have been situations where women have voluntarily agreed to pay men for their livelihood. Moreover, this trend is growing from year to year. Dating services note that literally seven to ten years ago men were not interested in the financial situation of their chosen one. Now this is not only the most popular request, but also a new addition to the questionnaire — “I don’t mind the content.”
How do women feel about this? It varies, as many women as there are so many opinions. However, there are some general trends
The number of men has increased with the advent of businesswomen. From their youth they make a choice in favor of a career. Sooner or later, business improved, money and time appeared, but personal life did not. As a rule, these are older women who believe that they take worthy men, but do not attract the wrong ones. It turns out that the young guy is warming the bed, she buys clothes, a car, a telephone and makes a complete renovation. Usually it is not attached and changes often, good, the choice has appeared recently. If he was emotionally inflamed, he soon became disillusioned and faced with infidelity, greed and lies.
Read also: Character qualities of women that do not allow them to become happy with men
Men dream of a wife with long legs, firm hips, a slender figure, full lips, expressive eyes and breasts of three sizes. Her character.
- Mutually beneficial cooperation
Again, the new generation of girls is not averse to keeping a man. They accept a man”s help with joy and gratitude for all the work he does, and this does not mean that he likes to run around the house, cook or create coziness. Such role changes are good when they suit both parties without causing conflict situations. The man plays his role — he helps the girl morally, has sex with her and keeps the house in exemplary order. She then does what she is used to and appreciates the comfort and support. Everyone is happy.
This is still not a well-researched aspect of interpersonal relationships, and there is no data on how long this CVO status lasts. Science will still have its say.
If a person is closely involved in science, he has no opportunity to earn money. There is work, but they pay mainly to researchers without any special credentials, so the wife takes on this burden. And here everything depends only on how family life changes. If this situation is considered normal, the family is preserved; if not, it falls apart. Often she takes the situation calmly and believes that when the time comes, her husband’s work will be rewarded and will bring material results.
- Psychological problems.
It turns out that due to unresolved psychological problems, a life situation arose in which the wife began to support her husband. Childhood traumas are so strong that they plunge a man into depression and do not allow him to cope with the situation. Experts can help understand the causes of conflicts and eliminate them. After this, the person is again filled with self-confidence and the desire to succeed.
Sometimes a wife has to support her husband during difficult periods of his life — they are fired, they get sick and make a career out of it. There are many reasons for this. There are rare cases when financial support for the family from the wife plays a decisive role. Sooner or later, the husband finds a job, recovers, and his career takes off. Then, when she had to live virtually through his wife, she did not judge, but remembered with gratitude and warmth. The husband values his wife even more and does everything to provide for the family.
Yes, there are situations when women come to terms with the fact that they have to support men, but mostly their attitude towards this fact is negative.
Ladies” rascals. star wives and their gigolo husbands
Can any man be a gigolo?
No, ordinary men find a way to get out and start earning money, even when they find themselves in situations where they are financially dependent on women.
Psychologists note common characteristics that led men to become gigolos.
- The parental family had an authoritarian mother who restrained her husband.
- The boy was not raised as an independent person, someone who could take responsibility. He expects solutions to his problems, guardianship and financial support from a woman.
- Dontsova, a “genius,” believes that everyone around him lives only to serve him. This is because from childhood he was accustomed to hearing about his exclusivity and genius and taking “services” for granted.
- Young people who want to marry an older man, plunge into wealth and fame and have it all. Usually these are spoiled children, accustomed to the fact that everything in life comes easy to them.
- If in childhood a boy receives psychological trauma associated with women, he begins to hate them and believes that women are obliged to give men pleasure in bed.
- Because of fear and uncertainty, a person does not move forward, but also does not develop. If she is next to him, she does not stop there. If one moves forward, their speeds conflict and the other pulls him back. By the way, a woman in a long-term union of this type also, as a rule, has psychological problems. She finds it difficult to accept her current situation, but she is also afraid of being alone. Such stories end with the recovery of difficult women and last for many years.
Conclusion: people with distortions in education can become gigolos.
How to distinguish a gigolo?
If a woman does not want to support a man, she should know by what signs she can distinguish him. Psychologists advise paying attention to a man’s behavior.
- At the beginning of dating, Alphonse can be very persistent. He gives flowers, declares his love and is full of compliments. But you have to give in under pressure, soon everything will disappear — gifts, bouquets, emotions.
- In bed, he never calls a woman by name. Obviously, this is explained by the fact that he is relaxed there, feels vulnerable and does not want to open up.
- He says almost nothing about himself, but listens to the girl with interest and encourages her to tell her story. And if he asks questions, it means he is interested in the material side.
- Women are compassionate beings, and these are stories about difficult childhoods, personal tragedies and life”s obstacles. This pessimistic story has one purpose: to evoke compassion. Subsequently, a desire arises to help and warm.
- He cleverly connects this with the fact that the help should be material. For example, much of his childhood has been transferred to adult reality in the form of large obligations that threaten his life and health.
- The important task of the Gigolo is not to give away his “goldfish”. And here, of course, he can be useful around the house, but mostly he is passionate about bed. Ordinary women, like men, need sex. Who would want to give up such happiness? And if you want it, pay up, honey.
Recognizing Alfon is not that difficult. Giving up communication is difficult and doomed to failure.
How does a woman feel in such a relationship?
There are only two options.
If a woman approaches this consciously, she does not feel like a victim, but takes everything she can from the situation. For example, a guy gives a business woman unforgettable sex, makes her look younger and comes out on top. Alternatively, a situation in which a man and a woman provide comfort and homeliness. Such women are calm, perceive reality correctly, take care of themselves and are happy in their own way.
If this bothers her, then it looks like a bad mood; if it bothers men, it looks like a bad mood. He is fed up with difficult, hopeless work and therefore does not feel support, only the heavy burden that he has taken upon himself. It is better to change situations that are difficult to survive.
The man feels inferior and takes out his helplessness and anger on the woman, making her life completely hopeless.
Whether it’s a conversation with a companion or leaving for another life, everyone makes their own choice. We must remember that there is only one life, and we need to live it painlessly in order to remember this.
When a woman says: “I have a man,” she puts so much meaning into this phrase that it suggests that in this situation there cannot be an unambiguous decision or action.
