How do you understand that you truly love a person?
People love to ask difficult questions. How do you know if you really love someone? No article or book gives an exact answer to this question. It would be much easier if you could take a blood test and determine what you are experiencing based on the levels of hormones and other substances. Love is a beautiful modern myth and at the same time a necessary condition for normal, strong relationships. After all, no one should have to share a mortgage with a stranger, wake up early in the morning to children crying, or skimp on everything, right?
Contents of the article:
Why does everyone want to know this
People who ask how to tell if you really love someone usually don”t want to know. Cynically speaking, they are trying to figure out whether they should get into a relationship. The world of modern youth is structured in such a way that it is very easy to survive alone. For your other half, there is no need to spend money on certain “healthy foods” or try to maintain a “normal life.” Pasta, cheap sausages and chemical peach-flavored yogurt work well at first. You can wear your underwear at home and don’t have to cook every day. Evenings are free and you can do anything from a part-time job to an active social life. After living in independence for several years, a person begins to understand the taste of freedom.
- Spend money only on yourself.
- Finally, get a dog or cat.
- In your free time, play sports, listen to loud music, play games or do what you like — pick tomatoes for the winter harvest without dragging your Ust-Kukuev partner”s mother into it.
- Go on vacation wherever you want, whenever you want.
- Don”t listen to other people”s problems every night.
- Wear clothes that you like, not clothes that your partner finds attractive.
- Eat healthy or just eat cheap noodles with sausages and beer.
Many children of violent parents are perfectly accustomed to the “single life.” And once they see someone a few times, they begin to wonder if it”s worth holding back for the sake of another. Usually, if there is no love, it is not worth it. After all, it”s still impossible to build anything lasting.
Signs of the phenomenon
There are many different variations in classical literature.
- The time has come — she fell in love. That is, a suitable object is taken and a macabre passion is invented. It is well distributed among noble and well-read young ladies and gentlemen who are well versed in romantic sources.
- Special effects such as time stopping and lightning strikes. This is also an option for emotional people, but it may have a basis in reality.
- Long “Soviet friendships” that continue in the form of strong families. This option applies to most reasonable people who are not simply struck by lightning.
It is impossible to formulate. Psychologists distinguish between falling in love, a temporary state, and more mature feelings. And the divide here is based on the principle of “readiness to sacrifice one’s interests for the sake of a partner.”
The cat principle
The girl lives for herself and raises a cat. She meets a man and seems to fall in love with him. They date for a long time — three months, by modern standards. A man asks a woman all the time to move in with him, start living with him, save for the mortgage payment, and do all sorts of grown-up things. But he doesn”t want to see a cat at home.
Read also: How to understand that your man truly loves you? there are no instructions in the world on the topic “how loved ones should behave.” You can”t buy, read a brochure or decipher a person”s feelings.
In the case of social advertising on social networks and Misogynist Demotivator, the fluff goes to the shelter. But we are looking for real emotional indicators. Therefore, men have problems understanding this phenomenon. Yes, if you love a girl, be patient with her cat. After all, she doesn”t love your mother either. You also have a friend who is always counting his underpants in his dresser, his beer, and his football. But she remains silent or turns everything into a joke. Cats can be anything from an actual pet to something lonely hanging on an object. If a person thinks more about relationships and mutual assistance, but must admit to himself that he needs to get rid of “indicators”, he needs to look for another partner.
She has attacks of aggression!
A man lives and dates women. He has a great job, a high income, and takes two days off a week. She quits her boring sales job and decides to focus on self-improvement and find something creative that better suits her multifaceted personality than shelving T-shirts or helping in the fitting room. And passion is replaced. Vague complaints scream about random things and innocent hobbies like computer games, checking phones, and wild bouts of jealousy. They say: people, she”s bored, she has children, a job, or other responsibilities. It depends on who”s consulting her. She complains that her integrity and emotions have disappeared. In fact, nothing has appeared, but only on the woman”s side. She was simply looking for stability, found it, began searching for more information on “happiness and self-improvement,” and met a happy Insta-Seven who embodies everything her husband desires. The girl subtly understands that her partner isn”t the hero of a romance novel and has no feelings. But in reality, she doesn”t really want to go to a salesperson and look for love, so she tries to control herself, but it doesn”t work out that way.
Friends and their privileges
It also happens that relationships aren”t so strong, but the answer to the main question is no on both sides. Here, the infamous “L” word is replaced by mutual respect and a natural attraction between different types of people.
In a practical sense, this is the strongest couple of all. But there”s no stability here. As soon as one of the “friends” finds love, big problems begin. It”s bad when men are able to have children and form social bonds; it”s even worse when they are unable to. The breakup will be painful. Well, it”s almost normal when a family doesn”t exist for a long time.
Doubts and couples
They often begin to doubt if they see that the relationship is not proceeding according to the script. For example, a girl sincerely wants to get married and have a child as soon as possible, and a man wants to go rafting down a mountain river. Just now. It”s better to take a good tent and boots. Thermal underwear won”t hurt either. She takes her and his feelings into account. All this advice about preparing for pregnancy, buying vitamin E, courageously giving up cigarettes and beer, and even joining the gym, are not being noticed as reposts from the group? He also doesn”t understand what”s going on. Historically, YouTube has videos of camping trips with just a tent and sleeping bag, and it”s clear that he didn”t just end up in the backpacking section.
If differences are found in proximal preference, this does not always mean that the feelings are not there or that they are not real. Perhaps people simply have not learned to communicate with each other. And at first, the couple’s interaction is attributed to joint publications, entertainment and bed. You have to study a little later. There is no template answer, but there are some clear signs. In addition, each person understands love in his own way. If both preferences in a couple coincide, then the relationship will be happy. Well, for those who suddenly discover that they cannot be happy, doubly so — the sooner you notice the mistake, the easier it is to correct it.
