How to stop loving your ex-boyfriend and return to a happy life?
Love is a wonderful feeling that does not have great consequences for the psyche and self-esteem. If you are faced with a sacramental question: “How to stop loving a man, stop thinking about him around the clock and start enjoying life?”, then this article is a must-read.
Contents of the article:
Action Plan
Logical and not so logical, scientific and folk, rational and crazy — all methods of expelling a person from the mind are known to humanity. Whether you choose the one that suits you best or try all the methods in order, we leave the choice to you.
Let”s look sadness in the eyes
The first thing to do is allow yourself to be sad. You”ve probably read books by John Green or watched films with his participation. If you haven”t seen them, believe me, you”ve heard them. You can endlessly spit at the reference to a teenage psychological drama, but the phrase “pain wants to be felt” deserves applause.
If this literary reference does not convince you, we have another example: it has been scientifically proven that Internal Organ Disease.
We don”t like to suffer and be sick (everyone sympathizes, except those who like the status of everyone”s victim), and we all want to be happy and carefree 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. But we don”t live in an ideal world. Troubles happen and arise and happen, and we need to learn how to deal with them.
Everyone has the right to mourn, yearn and be one of those who mourn. Listen to sad songs (including those related to ex-boyfriends), watch films about unhappy love and breakups, read books.
Set aside a certain period of time for yourself that you, with a clear conscience, devote to “living through the pain.” “Forever”, “10 years” and any other loud statements we immediately reject. Love and passion can be given to a person many times, but mothers and fathers give their lives only once.
Extroverts and introverts
Determine your temperament type. In difficult times, is it easier for you to be alone with yourself and your thoughts than to sit with friends and hug? In the first case, explain to your loved one that you love him more than anyone in the world, but now you want to be alone and not go to parties or interesting get-togethers.
Meet with friends with whom you feel comfortable, calm and safe — invite a friend for a cup of coffee at a nearby coffee shop or invite her home with pizza. On the contrary, in the second case, tell your loved ones that you feel very bad and you will be very grateful for their help and support. People who are really close to you will understand everything. This is the desire to lock yourself at home in the series, and an unexpected love for nightclubs and bars.
The main thing to remember is that you love these people very much and will not pour out all your negativity on them because they want the best. You won”t become a dimentor (Harry Potter fans — say hello to the rest of us — these are fliers who suck out the will to live).
Out of sight!
Stop looking at his photo. Photo of a friend showing his knees. Stop listening to his favorite music. Especially if you listen to it only for its sake, and not the words of post-hardcore or rap that caress your ears.
Stop reading his horoscope. Stop looking at communal photos and re-reading correspondence. Or do the opposite — look at his photo for five hours straight. Read your correspondence. 5 hours continuously. If you”re not feeling sick, now it”s interesting to see what Brad Pitt is like. But we don”t see this. And you won”t. Delete, erase, block, discard.
Workaround maneuver
We must do everything possible to avoid meeting the object of our passion. We visited one gym together — we are looking for another or choosing a day when the risk of meeting is minimal. Every day they drove him to a coffee shop — he bought himself a Turk and learned to brew coffee himself.
Perhaps you have a talent and one day you will win someone over with a latte that you made yourself? You do not need to change your place of study or work. You don”t have to make your life difficult because of this person. If you”ve been wanting to move to another university or job, consider it a sign from the Universe.
Read also: How to forget your beloved ex-boyfriend? 10 perfect ways
Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you”ll get. In the relationship between a man and a woman, everything is absolutely the same. You don”t.
The paperwork is currently being prepared. If you lived together, this is obviously a priority. But now you don”t have to cook hearty meat dishes, and you can enjoy your favorite vegetarian dishes.
Narrowing the circle
You”re under no obligation to maintain contact with this guy if he”s your only common interest. There”s no need to fight with them or make a scene. If your friend shares similar views and values the relationship, never force them to take sides.
They don”t want to be caught in the middle. Ultimatums have never saved a relationship from breaking up. Also, don”t air dirty laundry. Your friend doesn”t need to know every aspect of your personal life. It”s also unique.
“So are you together or what?”
The option of ending communication was discussed. It doesn”t matter who initiated the breakup. We share everything we have.
But what happens if communication continues? What happens if a man is very friendly, calm, and maintains contact? Here, we need to consider the reasons why the girl stopped loving him.
If doubts, difficulties, or public opinion are holding her back, she needs to sit down and carefully consider whether this man is worth trying to stop loving, or whether she needs to give herself a slap in the face, wake up, and fly towards mutual love.
Of course, such miraculous results are rare. If a girl decides to fall in love with a guy, it means somewhere along the line he messed things up. The following signs will help you understand that you”ve fallen in love and the relationship has reached a dead end, and they”ll help you cut off communication:
- It”s worse to have a man than not to have one. If a man systematically kills your spirit with trivialities, nagging, cruel jokes, lies, and is completely unwilling to invest in the relationship, then. Indeed, the girl has had a serious talk with her boyfriend once or twice and asked him not to hurt her. If he still hasn”t listened to her pleas, it means he doesn”t care about her feelings and has no intention of changing his behavior. It”s worth remembering all the suffering he”s caused and ending the relationship without regret.
- The relationship is revolving around the clock or isn”t progressing at all. It doesn”t matter whether the man is afraid of a serious relationship or honing his skill at choosing a woman—such interactions will lead to nothing good. If he finds someone more interesting, he”ll likely leave. There”s no point in waiting for “Judgment Day”; it”s time to break up now.
Renaissance
Addiction to love relationships❗I can’t forget him. how to overcome❓anna Boginskaya
- Self-development. After days, weeks and months of depression and degradation, it”s time to take care of yourself. It”s time to do things that you didn”t have time for before (think about a man, cook, attend other courses, just keep him busy), as well as some things that were previously prohibited. Active hobbies are healthy and energizing, so you can let go of negativity, explore the future, and make new interesting connections. Sports, dancing and extreme sports. You can take women”s dance courses (pole dancing, striptease lessons, the bolder and more unusual the better).
- Dating and dating. If you did not have a free temperament, you do not need to jump into freedom and relationships overnight. This will only make your depression worse. More often than not, you go to a party with friends, open up to new acquaintances, and get ahead of the idea that there are a lot of bad people in the world. But there are still many good ones.
- Enjoy your freedom. If you were in a relationship, would you be able to follow some rules and do nothing? If a man is against radical changes in hair color or length, and has been seeing a girl with a platinum pixie for a long time, go to a good hairdresser! The man believed that girls should sit at home and cook borscht. “I want to have fun!” We immediately throw out the message that we are going to have a party. And we will get this red dress. Enjoy the time that is yours now. Pay attention only to those who treat you well and care about your well-being.
Finish. Victory
We”ve all heard about the stages of depression — denial, anger, fear. Let”s focus on the last one — acceptance. Accept the fact that this person is not for you. He”s not bad, he”s not you. Have you ever been angry at mayonnaise because it goes with cereal, which is worse than milk or strawberry yogurt? Mayonnaise and oatmeal are great on their own. And we love them when they”re not there (well, with the exception of the occasional gourmet and pregnant woman).
Assistants
- Stage 1 — decline.
What are we watching? Bridget Jones”s Diary”, “Love in a Hurry”, “The Notebooks”, other tear-jerking films, numerous dramas, films without a happy ending.
What are we listening to? Everything dedicated to grief and farewells. We can start with Maxim”s song.
What do we eat? Something that in normal times we would not allow ourselves. Not in such quantities.
What should we do? We cry, we are sad, we indulge in sadness.
How long do the stages last? Only a month or two.
The second stage is the resurrection of the ashes.
What do we see? Groundhog Day”, “Always Say Yes”, films and TV series about the value of life, strong women and everyday fun.
What are we listening to? From Afrojit to Madonna”s songs: why you dance and energize yourself
What do we eat? We learn to cook proper, tasty food and absorb foods rich in serotonin (fatty fish, cheese, mushrooms, bananas, nuts and legumes).
What are we doing? We improve the body (go to the hairdresser and the gym), heal the soul (make an appointment with a psychologist or see a good friend), travel, go to parties, try new things and enjoy communicating with new people.
How long do the stages last? Your wonderful life.
- Life goes on.
This is exactly what makes it different. Multifaceted, rich and replete with all kinds of opportunities and acquaintances. After the black stripe there is always a white stripe. This is the universal law of balance, and it always works.
