I want to leave my girlfriend: what should I do?
Every day more than 100, 000 couples break up around the world. However, the decision to separate is not always mutual. What if the thought of “leaving the girl” flashes through a young man’s head more and more often? How to prepare for a breakup so that your loved one leaves with minimal losses? How should you behave if your partner is pressuring you to show compassion and give her a chance? This article addresses these and many other questions.
Contents of the article:
Determine the reason for the breakup
Before you break the news of your breakup to your lover, you need to figure out the reasons for the breakup yourself. Why did you suddenly decide to break up? Is this really a balanced and thoughtful decision? Analyze your relationship and understand at what point thoughts about breaking up begin to appear in your head.
If the decision to break up was made after a quarrel or scandal, then most likely it is just an emotional outburst. Then give yourself time to cool down and calm down. After a while, you will realize that your feelings are still strong and that it was premature to think about breaking up.
When your feelings for your partner have cooled, the situation becomes completely different. You are no longer attracted to her, intimate thoughts no longer bring the same pleasure, spending time together no longer brings pleasure. The decision to break up is firmly lodged in your head and, like a sore spot, does not allow you to live in peace. In this case, you shouldn’t drag your feet, but rather honestly dot all the i’s and go on your way.
A decision needs to be made
“Love has passed — the tomatoes have wilted,” so you should break up with your girl. Everything seems clear and simple, but where can you find the strength and courage to tell your girlfriend about this? Of course, you can wait until her feelings suddenly disappear. But where is the guarantee that over the next 50 years you will not become the main character of her novels? No, you shouldn’t rely on your partner’s extrasensory abilities, but you need to take everything into your own hands.
Of course, the separation procedure is not the most pleasant, but if you have already decided that you want to break up with your girl, you should do it. By the way, psychologists say that talking about problems makes them easier to solve.
Stand in front of the mirror and start a conversation with yourself. “I don”t love her anymore and I want to leave her. I have to be honest and open with her. And no matter how hard she takes this news, it will be better for both of us in the future. I”m not a creep or an asshole.
After this short self-hypnosis session you should feel better. I am confident in the correctness of the decisions made.
Choose a day to break up
Even if you want to end your old relationship immediately, wait for the right moment. Be prepared for the conversation to be long and difficult. Therefore, it is very important that no one is in a hurry or late. It is advisable to find out in advance your girlfriend’s plans for the coming days and choose a free evening in her schedule.
You should not risk your health by announcing a breakup on the eve of holidays such as New Year, Valentine”s Day or International Women”s Day. If you announce your breakup on the eve of the holiday and are alive and well, be prepared for scornful looks and moral condemnation from mutual friends. “What a scoundrel, he ruined the whole holiday for the poor thing. I couldn”t wait.” And all your assurances that you want to do your best do not correct the overall impression of your “mean and despicable” behavior.
My boyfriend left me a week before New Year”s. He said that he wanted to start the New Year with a clean slate and leave all the bad things in the old year. When I asked him if he had done anything bad in his life, he turned and walked away. (Lelya, 23 years old)
House or cafe, cafe or house?
How would you like to be. Where do you say goodbye to your lover? At home or in a cafe? Good question. Of course, it all depends on your woman”s temperament. If you”re sure she won”t throw a tantrum and hit or crush every object she can get her hands on, you can announce the breakup at home.
Of course she can joke about it. She walked out the door and heard a shot. She thought she had been shot. I”m coming back. No, the bitch opened the champagne. Celebrate.” However, such an outcome is unlikely.
Psychologists recommend reporting such news publicly. It is recommended to choose a small, uncrowded cafe. Also place it near your home so that your girlfriend can easily find her way home if she gets upset.
Don”t be thick-skinned. Don”t pick a special place for your breakup. Darling, do you remember how I invited you to this restaurant, professed my love, and asked you out? I decided that the place where we started our relationship is where we should end it.
So, you can order your favorite fish and dessert at the end. We have a quiet dinner, go home, pack our things, and head back to my mom”s. At best, she”ll ruin you by ordering everything on the menu; at worst, every diner in the restaurant will learn a lot about you. “My ex turned out to be that bug. He invited me to a restaurant. “Would you like more wine? Why not try their signature salad? I”ll order a light dessert if you like.” I”m still amazed at how this morbidly greedy man can be so generous. Then, at the end of dinner, he tells them the news, and they say, “I”m leaving you.” Then I realized what the trick was. He created a special atmosphere so I could relax and not want to ruin our last evening together. (Katya, 21)
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Arguments decide everything!
Arguments decide everything!
Your voice must be confident and decisive, because if a girl senses even a shred of doubt, she”ll cling to you like a bulldog and refuse to budge. You can practice this again in the mirror.
Do you have to dump the girl first?
Do you have to leave the girl first?
How a Girl Will React to a Breakup
Options for how a girl should respond to a breakup message
If she suddenly starts screaming, screaming hysterically and shedding tears, taking a stack of paper napkins and a package will not go amiss. If a girl suddenly starts talking about her love, falls to her knees and asks you to give her a second chance, things will get even worse. Here you need to show restraint and let her understand that all her persuasion, broadcasts and demands are meaningless.
Another version of the girl’s behavior is a gentle acceptance of the news of the breakup. “Do you want to break up with me? I understand. I agree. I also think that you are unworthy of me. Of course, I will become better. Don’t worry, I will improve. The main thing is that you will find people like me. By the way, if I don’t ask, I won’t accept.” After such words, even the most strong-willed person will suddenly doubt his decision.
I was already ready for this when my Andrisha told me about the breakup. Recently, our relationship was far from ideal, and a breakup was inevitable. I calmly accepted the news and deleted it. I think my reaction left me confused. After he left, I was proud that I didn”t show him how bad I was, even though I liked Beluga for three days. (IRA, 29)
How to behave after a breakup
How to behave after a breakup
Avoid uncomfortable conversations, and even if you want to break the news over the phone or via social media, don”t. This would be a sick and disgusting move on your part. No girl deserves a relationship like this.
- Under no circumstances behave like a real man. If your tongue is really itchy and you want to talk about their cooking or other skills, just bite your tongue.
- Be honest, don”t lie, and don”t encourage it. The phrase says that “there is always a chance” — this is a signal for positive actions and behavior of the girl. Don’t be surprised by these words: in two days she will meet you after working with the flower group.
- Don”t look for a reason for a phone call or meeting after a breakup. Don”t bring up your ex, who is always happy to see you, every time you have no one to talk to to spend the night with.
- No sex. Even if your girlfriend is a fan of the movie “Sex for Friendship” and is tempting you for intimacy, answer with a categorical refusal. Remember that life is not a scripted Internet movie.
- Give her time to recover. Of course, in your relationship, you still have mutual friends who invite her and you to get-togethers. At least at the beginning of the breakup, be a gentleman and refuse the meeting. Make time for your ex-girlfriend in public and take her mind off your grief for a while.
- By following the advice of psychologists, you can avoid common mistakes and make life easier for yourself and your ex-lover.
I never thought that I would be friends with my ex, but now he has become my friend. After he left me, I hated him. But then she cooled down and realized that he was very honest with me. He didn’t pull the trigger, but admitted that he had strong feelings for someone else and wanted to be with her. (Dalina, 30 years old)
Loud separations of stars
Loud separations of stars
Jennifer Aniston and Justin Terra. Aniston”s fans did not stand aside after it became known about the separation of one of the most beautiful couples in Hollywood, Angelina Jolie and Pitt, who became related. Despite the fact that she was married, many began to hope for the resumption of the relationship between Delirium and Jennifer. However, in 2018, Aniston and her husband Justin Sell separated after two years of official marriage — a move that was perceived by many as a sign that the couple had come to terms with their relationship. The star couple explained this by “incompatibility of characters.”
- Rita Dakota and Vlad Sokolovsky. Treason, betrayal, divorce and property matters. The story of the relationship between Dakota and Sokolovsky could serve as a script for a melodrama. Before falling in love with each other, Rita and Vlad were good friends for many years. Then their friendship grew into love, they got married and became the parents of a wonderful baby Mia.
- The guys actively posted their photos on Instagram and confessed their feelings to each other. In general, this is a beautiful fairy tale, not life. It was when Rita announced a break on the social network pages that fans were shocked. Throughout the marriage, it turned out that her husband was not wrong with her. The parting was painful for Rita, but she bravely endured all the difficulties.
- Jenna Devine and Channing Tatum. Unfortunately, this beautiful couple broke up after a nine-year relationship. But for many, the reason for their breakup remains a mystery. The star herself does not give a specific reason, but replies that it is necessary. Even after their breakup, Channing speaks very fondly of his ex-wife in his interviews, calling her “my love.”
- Ani Lorak and Murat Nalchadzhi-Aglu. beautiful, regal and successful. And shocking news in the media about Murat’s betrayal, when the paparazzi photographed him in one of the Kyiv cafes with another girl. Despite the assurances of the parents” relatives that the spouses got along well and loved each other, the divorce still took place.
- Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck. The couple”s divorce lasted almost three years. However, throughout this entire time, the spouses divided property, but could not resolve the issue of child custody. The couple nevertheless compromised and resolved this issue.
- Alexander Kerzhakov and Milan Tulip. Their marriage lasted less than two years, but then Milana admitted that her husband beat her and did not allow her to see her son. Next, Kerzhakov accused his wife of drug addiction. After this, the couple officially divorced, but they still cannot resolve the issue of custody of their son.
- Separation is always a difficult process. But all the effort doesn”t make the second half any less painful. If you want to leave a girl, think not only about yourself at the moment, but also about her. And no matter how much you both worry, you should not light a fire if the flame has already died out. Therefore, it is recommended to read the article on how to leave a girl. Love and be happy.
How to leave a girl you love but can”t live with? 5 reasons for fear of separation
