Is it worth forgiving betrayal: we make a decision by determining the root cause
Each of us becomes a little more naive. Cheerfulness inspires, flight and happiness. I want the romantic fairy tale to last as long as possible. Unfortunately, relationships change over time. Hormones are to blame for this, and sometimes it’s the people themselves who don’t know how to protect their love. Often, as a result, we have to deal with betrayal. Here the pressing question arises: is it worth forgiving betrayal?
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Probably everyone has at least once imagined a tragic situation that would somehow change the relationship. But it’s one thing to fantasize, and another thing to experience the betrayal of a loved one in real life in a completely different way. Here it is rare that anyone saves the noble mines of an active God. No one can tolerate betrayal. Even if it seems to you that strong feelings will overcome all obstacles, this is not always the case. Therefore, we will try to talk about the reasons why men and women cheat. What are the reasons? Understanding the reasons is a good platform for deciding whether to continue or end the relationship. Second, we”ll explore how you can overcome resistance and establish climate as a couple. And, of course, we pay attention to the question of whether it is worth forgiving betrayal. It is very important to observe your partner”s behavior. This is due to the fact that people may try to obtain forgiveness only for the sake of convenience, comfort, or at least stability in life. As sad as it is to realize, you can pray for mercy not only for love, but also for those you choose.
Why does a man cheat?
Some argue that humans, like nature, are monogamous creatures. Yes, we are intelligent and developed. But animal nature and primitive instincts are almost impossible to preserve. You can follow such a theory by justifying a person. But we strongly advise against doing this. Each of us has willpower, intelligence and self-control. Psychologists say that in any state of mind, even when drunk, people control their mating instincts with representatives of the opposite sex. The fact is that if you have changed, then this thought has crept into your consciousness on a permanent basis. We analyze the most common impulses that direct men to adultery.
- The desire to try something unknown
Often, more than any other reason, men cite it as an incentive to cheat. They claim they simply wanted to diversify a little, motivated by the stability of their relationship with the Fed. He seems to continue to love his wife. He is a good man and his shoulders are strong. But there is no longer that spark of passion that was there before. Butterflies don”t fly in his belly. Then the person begins to think that it is interesting to try something different. He looks around and sees such pictures. Through friends, lovers or even through several girls that you can enjoy. At the same time, his wife does not suspect anything.
And the feeling that men are alpha males and that one Mrs. is not enough enters the arena. Those same friends and colleagues especially provoke people to do great things. Every get-together at the bar is invariably accompanied by stories about funny erotic adventures. A man who does not deceive his chosen one looks rather pale in such conversations. Some simply make up stories of betrayal, while others happily pursue their dishonest companion. Many men are also looking for new and interesting acquaintances just for the sake of dating. They have little interest in continuing a relationship with a woman. A short meeting is enough. The main thing that men get from such revelry is the attention of a new woman. Thus, men only feed their self-esteem. Those relationships that began at a very early age especially suffer from this type of betrayal. Both boys and girls feel the need for comparison. They chose the person who is perfect for them. But what the neighbor has is very interesting. Especially if you have never crossed the road in bed with someone else in your life.
- Wives don”t respect me.
Here one of the most inconvenient and offensive reasons for female infidelity is expressed. We are talking about complete disdain and humiliation for what he chose. Yes, yes, a person is not always ready to obey an arrogant person. And women commanders strive to earn the right to vote for themselves.
Think how often in our country a woman tries to pull the blanket over herself. She lives with a normal man. Then at one moment he turns into a weak-willed creature, an alcoholic or simply unemployed. At this moment, the woman often does not realize that her guilt for such changes is much greater than it seems. So is it worth forgiving your husband’s betrayal? In some cases, this may be appropriate if the spouse played an indirect motivating role. Imagine that a woman systematically humiliates her husband. She regularly insists on him and compares their family life with the lives of people she knows. She is not satisfied with their level of income, the way they dress, the decisions they make and the way they speak. Men usually call such attacks by the laconic term “grumbling.” A person exhausted by humiliation hides his emotions for a long time. His self-esteem is slowly sinking to the bottom. Then an insight is born — sex with another woman who, at least for a moment, notices a real man in him.
Read also: Is a sofa equal to a bed or is it worth accepting “expensive” gifts? recently, I accidentally came across an interesting article on the Internet. The mother of one young woman urged her daughter to come to her senses and stop giving expensive gifts.
- The puzzle didn”t work out.
There may be two options here. The simplest and most prosaic is the discrepancy between the sexual temperament of the partners. The man and his wife probably met when they were young. When this happens, most people indulge in the pleasure of sex.
Then people start to worry. Often, they say, wives, under various pretexts, deny intimacy to their husbands. A man wants to be a man. His level of sexuality and sexual desire exceeds the limits set by his wife. For his intimate pleasure, he found only more active girls. He simply continues to coexist and get along on the same earth with the loving heart of the young lady. The second situation is marriage for reasons other than love. For example, a man marries a woman who happens to be pregnant. After many years of living with a person who does not love him, he accidentally meets that same person. Should such betrayal be tolerated? You will be content only with yourself. However, psychologists say that delaying divorce has a negative impact on the psyche of young children. If they feel their parents” love for them and mutual respect, they will be much happier. This is much better than a complete family where mom and dad hate each other.
Why will a woman cheat?
Women can change for the same reasons as men. This happens often, but is typical for female infidelity. By the way, sociological studies show that betrayal is more common among men than among women. But even when it comes to anonymous research, women themselves are not always ready to give honest answers to topics related to their personal lives.
- Men don”t pay attention
The reason for female infidelity is misunderstanding and loss of attention on the part of a life partner. The situations are completely different, but the ending is the same for them. Several possible scenarios are proposed. If you recognize yourself, immediately start looking for a way out. Otherwise, your couple”s relationship may become invalid in the near future.
The first case is when a man becomes a workaholic. He may not realize that he could lose his lover. Very often the head of the family decides to strive for wealth. Then the woman just wants the well-being of the family, the mind is a hat story. After some time, she may turn to treason. If the woman of my heart was abandoned and forgotten by you, should I forgive her for her betrayal? Forgiveness is a difficult process for men. Women encounter this less often because their behavior is more planned and thoughtful. If your spouse feels guilty about the situation, you can work on the mistake. Often the family can be saved, and the relationship returns to the period of love and passion. The second version of female infidelity due to lack of attention is more commercial. Unfortunately, this variety has become more and more common. It”s very strange because it”s not only a form of cheating, but it”s also a form of feminist cheating. Because it is currently permeating the feminist movement. Apparently, in contrast to this, more and more female fans live at the expense of men. So you can fall in love with an attractive beauty, and you can fall in love with a woman who is also attractive, and you can fall in love with a man who is also attractive. Your relationship has long been “serious”. Maybe you”re even married. And it turns out that the aristocrat lives a real double life. Let”s say her middle name is escort. Mademoiselles of similar status earn money and date wealthy gentlemen. Moreover, very often they have regular relationships with fairly simple men without much material wealth.
How can you recognize such a clever salesperson? Take a closer look at her purchases. Gifts from men are especially welcome. These days, many young men subscribe to Telegram channels that introduce them to the night butterflies of the 21st century. Should you forgive betrayal if it unfolds according to the second scenario? In answer to your question, the woman will lie, claiming she was only engaged in dirty deeds for the sake of your relationship. He will say that you don”t pay attention to her and don”t give her expensive gifts, but she really wants them. Don”t say goodbye. Women in this category find it difficult to change their usual lifestyle. And it”s very difficult to regain trust.
- Curious and Disjointed
A woman is naturally curious and inquisitive. She has a unique, colorful imagination. This directly influences the attitude of many women toward the sexual aspects of relationships. When it comes to intimacy, it is generally accepted that a woman is more reserved and unpretentious. In fact, it all depends largely on her libido and sexual temperament. Sometimes a married woman commits infidelity out of curiosity. In other words, she”s not particularly interested in the man who”s decided to commit adultery. The experience and feelings are far more important.
Should you forgive betrayal?
If you love someone, should you forgive their betrayal? First, it is necessary to analyze and discuss the situation in detail. If both sides play along and remain silent, future experiences will not lead to positive changes. On the contrary, the problems will only get worse and conflicts will become much more frequent. In this case, it is very important to be open and honest with each other. Calmly examine the aspects of your life that led to one or both of you cheating. Think about how you can find new compromises and eliminate annoying issues. If you decide to try living together, remember that forgiveness means acceptance. Many couples cannot stay together even for six months after cheating. The fact is that the offended partner or partners begin to regularly make claims. Nobody likes to hear about cheating for the rest of their life. When is forgiveness dangerous to your own mental health? If you are in a relationship with an abuser, he will not stop cheating on you. In fact, such a person takes pleasure in ridiculing those who love him. If your interlocutor refuses to admit his guilt, there is no need to forgive him. This usually results in mutual accusations. He is trying to shift the blame onto you. He says that you raised him, did not love him, did not pay attention to him.
Do not forgive a traitor who denied the fact of his betrayal until the very end. He easily confirms his guilt only when he realizes that all the evidence is in your hands. When there is such an obvious lie in the eyes of the winner of a relationship, you cannot find out the reason and eliminate the mistake. To forgive means not to remember, not to be offended or humiliated because of your partner’s mistakes. With support and understanding from the other half, a person can change. But you must not forget about yourself. See if you can find the strength to forgive yourself.
