Measure twice, cut once, or when there”s no reason to break up
All couples experience relationship crises. This is completely normal, and there”s no need to worry about it. A cat gives birth sooner than later, and love doesn”t tolerate fuss. A couple may reach the point of no return and seem in a hurry to break up. However, as experience shows, such hasty decisions often turn out to be wrong, and people deeply regret what happened. Some return to find strength and begin seeking new adventures, while others have burned all their bridges, but at the same time, their thoughts return to the old ways.
Contents of the article:
Everyone has many criteria for breaking up. But before jumping into rash action, it”s worth stopping and considering whether the game is worth the candle. This is the purpose of the conversation.
Birds of a feather flock together
Empathy for people doesn”t develop out of nowhere. As a rule, the common good trumps all others. You may have different personalities, but at the same time, you adore each other on river rafting trips. This is a common point of contact. And there can be many such points.
When a relationship falters, it”s worth remembering this first. Of course, a person can”t become a stranger overnight unless they overcome their unique characteristics. Therefore, it”s best to sit down and paint everything in order to see the picture clearly.
The starting event
Relationships don”t fall apart out of the blue. There”s always a reason for the coldness. Here are three main issues that drive couples apart:
- The birth of a child. This reason, oddly enough, ranks first. The problem is that women become absorbed in their children and often forget about their wives. This is understandable, but caring for an heir takes a lot of time and energy, and often, they don”t leave their husbands either. So it”s worth stopping: a baby”s golden tears won”t burst into tears, but your husband could die. Incidentally, it”s precisely during this period that infidelity occurs. Kost is astonished that your husband”s light isn”t worth it. The woman is at fault here. To describe everything fully, another article is needed. Therefore, you must first understand your husband, and then the children. And not the other way around.
- Death of a loved one. Difficult events are always easier to survive with loved ones nearby. If you focus on your grief, you will not be able to understand that your partner is gradually slipping away. And this is impossible. You need to share your experiences, express your feelings, participate and empathize. Further, problems in the relationship themselves fade into the background.
- Financial difficulties. Here you need to separate the flies from the trimmings. If your partner is looking after the casino finances, this is one of them. But if a couple gets involved in a mortgage, then this is a completely different matter. You can”t fry an egg without breaking it. If a couple decides to take part in such an event, then there should be no accusations about tongue-lashing and financial holes. Ultimately, demanding a fur coat or a car and accusing a person of financial insolvency means he sits in a new apartment.
Read also: How to get over a breakup or 10 tips for a lost relationship
Breakups are a little like death, as one song says. Survival is difficult, but it can be done. Of course, not everyone will succeed, but we don”t.
Return to square one
After the debriefing, everything becomes transparent and extremely clear, so correcting the situation is not difficult. Don”t fight alone. To do this you need to attract a partner.
5 reasons to end a relationship [psych2go]
Life hack: a deadly fantasy
Tricks for those who are not very smart in lazy language. If it”s hard to find a triggering event, just imagine the person dying. In colors with details, bright. Then listen to yourself: what feelings, what thoughts can cause such an event. You can imagine many options: sudden death, sudden death due to a hidden illness, serious illness. Guaranteed, many people experience a real shock when they plunge into a fatal fantasy, and then the problem of breaking up disappears on its own.
Working in relationships is a natural process. Anyone can question the wisdom of maintaining the integrity of a marriage. But the statistics are inexorable. There are not many reasons for separation. People are simply impatient, and the store of wisdom is small. The parable needs to be remembered.
A couple who had lived a long and happy life together were asked: “What is your secret, how do you spend so much time together?” They asked. And the old man replied: “We went through all this shit that you didn’t break!” That”s all.
