Not hiding porn viewing — is it the right thing to do?
You are in your bedroom, completely sure that no one is around, watching pornography on your smartphone or laptop. You look up and see your partner entering the room. What would you do? Would you try to hide obvious facts? Would you deny that you were looking for a cheap tire pump and suddenly came across an erotic video? Or do you honestly admit that you enjoyed watching a passionate erotic scene?
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The most immediate reaction of most people is to hide the fact that they are using pornography. However, research shows that being honest about this issue can have a beneficial effect on partners” relationships.
Scientific research on the role of porn in relationships
A recent study published in the American Journal of Sex and Marriage Therapy involved 340 heterosexual women aged 18 to 41 years. Each of the respondents was in a relationship with a man that lasted at least six months. And this person at least sometimes looked at pornography. These women were asked if they had ever watched an erotic video. How honest their partners were about their pornography consumption. Participants were also asked whether they liked the relationship in general. Does it bother them that their followers sometimes do lewd things alone and watch pornographic videos? In other words, do they perceive this behavior as some kind of deception.
Results obtained
The majority of women in this sample (84. 4%) said that men are fair about viewing pornography. 10% say their partners most often keep this little secret. 5% are not sure. Women who were less honest about their men”s viewing of pornography had more negative emotional reactions. The same respondents who honestly said that believers watch pornography were the least concerned about this fact. The indecisive were located approximately in the middle between these two poles.
Read also: Is secretly watching porn in a relationship a reason for breakup?
Watching pornography is a normal, even natural, desire. Numerous scientific studies have explored this topic, addressing interpersonal issues.
Researchers also decided to find out whether women watch pornography with their partners. The majority of respondents (70%) answered no. 5% reported doing so, but very rarely. And finally, 25% stated that they regularly watch pornography with their men.
Watching porn together: neutral impact
My man watches porn
However, sharing pornography is associated to a certain extent with so-called “porn distress.” Women who never or rarely watched videos together experienced more negative feelings compared to women who regularly engaged in this behavior together. Scientists suggest that women who hide their partners” pornography use likely harbor very strange beliefs about their behavior. These women may believe their partners are deceiving them in this regard and, therefore, may anticipate deception in other areas of their lives.
Study Limitations: What Aspects Remain to Be Explored in the Future
It”s worth considering that the study only examined women”s perceptions of how honest their partners were about pornography use. It”s not a given that their partners” fidelity in all areas of their lives was transparent. After all, in relationships, people can see what they want. And this is often very far from the truth. A woman may believe that her porn-loving husband is cheating on her in other areas of his life as well. But such assessments are often far from reality.
Aspects such as excessive openness in this regard were not examined in this study. Perhaps future surveys will show that being too open about pornography use can hurt partners” feelings. This may be particularly true for people with elevated levels of anxiety. However, despite these limitations, the results suggest that, as a general rule, openness and honesty about pornography viewing and other gender issues is one of the most important signs of a healthy relationship.
Satya • on married men watching porn
