Persona non grata. Parents don”t like your man?
n?
Many anecdotes have been written on the subject, with coaches and relationship experts (of which there are a suspiciously large number these days) wiping blood from their fingers, doling out advice, and clicking furiously at their keyboards. How many literary works and paintings are devoted to this issue?
Contents of the article:
This article analyzes the most common reasons why boyfriends lose parental support. Those who can boast of an ideal relationship between parents and boyfriends are advised not to relax. Read this article to learn from the mistakes of others.
Jealousy
Oddly enough, this reason is one of the most common: the fact is that they are not happy with the relationship. In this case, it is not so important how old the adult daughter is — 15 or 23, as long as she is not a child of the same age as the adult daughter. Parents cannot agree that their little angel has grown up and began to be interested not only in books, but also in boys. He also sleeps outside the house.
If you know this well, we can only sympathize. But let”s look at the situation from the parents” side: perhaps you gave them a reason to doubt their own maturity? If you still don”t know how to take responsibility, how to be accountable for your actions and live “somehow”, there is a chance that your parents do not take your relationship seriously. And they are not ready to waste their warm feelings on a temporary hobby.
Be responsible, have you done your taxes for the whole family at the age of five? Secondly, the point is the lack of banal attention to your parents. Until recently, you lived with them under the same roof. They knew the names of all your girlfriends. You trusted your mother with your secrets, not your diary.
In this case, gently but firmly explain that you still love and appreciate your parents (you need to tell them this as often as possible, trust me), but now you are a grown girl and want to be loved. And give them wonderful grandchildren in the future.
Dark past
If your parents know your man in absentia and have learned a lot of unpleasant facts about him, it is very difficult to convince them. You can endlessly list his good qualities, but this is unlikely to help. Let the person fix the situation.
He must prove by his actions, not words, that he has taken the right path and take care of you like the apple of his eye. Casually tell your mother or father how you took care of him when he was sick or made him chicken soup. Or how he saved a stray cat. For this you can add a few points to your karma.
Read also: How to understand that your man truly loves you?
There are no instructions in the world on the topic “how loved ones should behave.” You can”t buy, read a brochure or decipher a person”s feelings.
Everything you need to know when meeting a man”s parents.
Watch your language
Remember that when you complain to someone about your partner, you will eventually cool down and forgive, but the person who loves you will remember your tears. If you really want to complain to someone about your boyfriend, call your friend. If you”re constantly mentally abusing your boyfriend, telling him how bad he is and tearing up his pillow, don”t be surprised that your parents can”t stomach it.
View from the outside
Most people won”t like this, but it should be included. It’s not in vain that moms and dads denigrate their daughters’ boyfriends. Your impartial parents can do no worse than an FBI agent while you sit with rose-colored glasses, oblivious to a person”s lies, tyranny or indifference.
2. vporos — answer. my mother doesn”t like my boyfriend. what to do.
Of course you have to think for yourself. But there are times when you should listen to people who truly want you to be happy.
Feelings
Even if you try to hide your negative emotions by putting on a mask of cheerfulness, you are cut off. With your baby, the mother, whose nails have not yet been cut, knows your every frown and facial expression, but soon realizes that something is wrong. If after a relationship with a man you become withdrawn, irritable and surprised, your parents will quickly understand that your boyfriend is a tyrant.
If this reason is a problem at work, tell them about it. Then look into the sweet eyes of love and smile sincerely. Understand that this person is offering you support and help from a caring creator. This is what they want for him.
Prevent and neutralize
How to prevent the cooling of relations between a man and his potential mother — the law and father — the law:
- Don”t avoid asking questions about him, even if you don”t plan to meet your parents yet. Otherwise, your parents” minds will begin to fill with mistrust and worry.
- Don”t delay your introduction. A person who is always running does not inspire confidence.
- Tell your parents often how happy you are with him and how well he treats you and pleases you.
- Prepare responsibly for your first meeting. Both mother and father should feel good.
- Don”t shrink in front of your parents. No matter how liberal their views may be, they will not appreciate his hands on your priest.
36. If your mother is against your man. 100 questions about relationships. Psychologist Vadim Kurkin answers
