Psychology of husband”s betrayal. How can a woman prevent this?
Loyal people resemble an endemic species of the modern era. In the modern world, people seem to have completely lost trust in each other and have ceased to be honest, faithful and loyal. They believed that they could buy and sell everything. Most representatives of both the stronger and weaker sex are faced with similar thoughts when choosing a partner for life. Because I really want a person to really support me, to be one, and for me to trust him as myself.
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Today, women have fears and doubts about male fidelity and betrayal. There is so much temptation in the form of the most beautiful stranger who wants nothing in return, but at the same time it seems like a way to remain faithful to your soul mate if she is willing to give everything to her.
Different understandings of the concept of betrayal in male and female psychology
Before talking about male fidelity and betrayal, you need to understand that betrayal in the eyes of a man and in the eyes of a woman is not the same thing.
Women may view the slightest hint of change as something other than friendship, such as going to the movies, visiting a restaurant, or walking in the rain. And this is very justified. This is due to the fact that women tend to finish non-existent plots in their heads and work with ideas in the form of “what about this”.
Men are a little more naive in this regard. In fact, they are all initially monogamous. The nature of male existence is the desire, if not a harem, then at least the opportunity to mate with as many women (femmes) as possible and to continue to have as many women (femmes) as possible.
Thus, even if a man enters into physical intimacy with a stranger, he, as a rule, does not consider this a betrayal, but only an animal satisfaction of instinct. It has nothing to do with emotions. This means acting as if nothing happened.
Women”s fault for their men”s infidelity
When talking about male infidelity and betrayal, first of all, remember that some of the men were not entirely truthful on the part of the women themselves. It”s not that their previous passion led to an enthusiastic lifestyle, although that is also true, but that they didn”t pay enough attention to what they chose and gave their relationship a chance. Intrafamily relationships or relationships that have crossed the candy line are daily work that requires dedication and sacrifice from both partners.
It’s another matter when a man sees his chosen one and the only one he has been looking for all his life, and, of course, does not want to share her with others. This means that betrayal by a man with a lover at his core breaks a man”s heart and literally tears him apart, hurting his pride and wounding his spirit.
As a rule, such men or those who remain with their ringleader for life put them on a pedestal, believing that no one loves him, or the breakup occurs with a scandal. Hatred. In the second case, representatives of the stronger sex bring closer to themselves or take away from a woman the position of a mentor in life, believing that all women are characterized by promiscuity and that they were chosen before.
Fidelity between a man and a woman is discussed in the following articles as a necessary condition for a happy relationship.
Faithful man
If a man is truthful, his loyalty manifests itself mainly towards his family or the woman he loves. First of all, she is always there for him. However, this does not mean at all that he unquestioningly and completely satisfies all the whims and desires of the woman of his heart. She tries for the family as a whole together with the man, so she is more likely to respect his opinion, the man’s ability to make joint decisions and value the female point of view.
Such a family is known as a “full cup”. When couples are not bored together, they need no one but each other.
A faithful man initially looks for a chosen one for a serious relationship. He never makes empty promises or makes advances to a girl who is not initially interested in him, because he respects the feelings of others and is not ready to hurt a girl with undeserved love. The stories he “blocked and abandoned” are not about him.
Such men take a long time to decide to take serious steps, even regarding sex, and this is neither indecisive nor notorious. But still, if the first step is taken on his part, the woman can be sure that the man will see her from the position of his future wife. Therefore, he is convinced that she is the only one for him and wants to be with her.
The reason for fidelity and infidelity
A 100% faithful husband is one who does not have a serious relationship before marriage, is afraid of seeming funny or inappropriate, and is therefore convinced that he is one who does not start intrigues on the side. Such views are erroneous and even pose a concrete threat. This happens because the man has already tried another woman once and probably realizes that, as they say, his life partner is somewhat worse than the one on the side.
Men can also be wonderful sexually and faithful in interpersonal relationships. Such a man can form an image of a suitable life partner for him, having an idea of \u200b\u200bthe behavior and personality of a woman. The behavior of such a person can be compared to going to the grocery store. For example, a person chooses what he likes best based on what he has already tried.
In most cases, socially unfulfilled men who do not have a stable income cannot change jobs and get a promotion. People who have not achieved their low-level goals. Self-actualized people have rich material wealth or have achieved their goals, but can already think about feelings and emotions.
Read also: Psychology of relationships between women. What are they?
Many men claim that they do not want to be born in a woman”s body. Relations between representatives of the “fair” sex are such that it is better to serve in.
However, the person does not overcome the bottom line, but sadly says that he is not faithful to his chosen one. This happens because he directs his energy specifically to the desire to enter into relationships and connections with as many women as possible, thereby compensating for his shortcomings.
Type of men prone to cheating
Scientists have studied the external signs and characteristics of male characters and there are rumors that those most predisposed to betrayal are not macho men with pumped up biceps and an elastic torso, not representatives of the stronger sex, not at all thin in build, small fat deposits in the abdominal area, and so on. Examples of celebrities are B. Yeltsin or G. Kohl. Such people are usually excellent organizers, they are always in a great mood and are creative.
The hormones testosterone and oxytocin are distributed throughout the body. Testosterone increases strength and stimulates the production of ambition, masculinity, and oxytocin, helping one savor the joys of life in general. Thanks to the immeasurable positive potential within, one goal gives way to another as they strive to share it with others, and the source of new ideas never runs dry.
A woman who has committed herself to an oxytocin-fueled relationship will likely have to accept frequent betrayals and begin building a relationship with him through other channels, based on mutual understanding and partnership.
The influence of intelligence on men”s fidelity
According to research by psychologists and psychophysiologists, there is no direct correlation between a person”s fidelity and intelligence, but there is still a difference between the behavior of highly intelligent people and those with average or below-average intelligence.
A highly intelligent person thinks about the future. He tends to make predictions, plan for the long term, and is analytical, i. e., he understands how cause-and-effect relationships work. Men with average intelligence are driven by instant attraction, which they are ready to act on right now, without worrying about the consequences.
Furthermore, highly intelligent men consciously avoid betrayal, as it leads to internal marital stress and a breakdown in the relationship. Such representatives of the stronger sex are ready to take responsibility. As a rule, the infidelity they commit is deliberate. This means that the man understands that it could lead to divorce in the future and, accordingly, will blame himself for it.
How to avoid cheating?
Whether a man is truthful or not largely depends on his chosen woman. Characteristics of the ideal life partner for a faithful husband:
- A man”s faithful companion is not just any woman, but a wise woman who knows when to tighten the reins and when to relax. Men love freedom and the feeling of freedom, no matter what anyone says. Therefore, they should give their husbands the opportunity to relax with friends, go fishing, hunting, or hiking. In short, let him do things that are considered men”s things, which women don”t have a place for. Of course, this can be a family affair; it can be offered to spouses and boyfriends, friends, and other members of the human race, with the exception of children. A woman who gives you enough breasts to breathe is worth a lot. However, men shouldn”t push their own agenda and go to extremes.
- If a woman assumes that her man is not inclined to be combative, then there is no need to use him anyway. A man wants a woman to want attention and affection, and to “wipe her feet” on her, regardless of how he feels about himself.
- A woman who is constantly upset will try to be negative or quarrel with her husband over any issue. He begins to look for another woman who can offer him affection and love and appreciate his personal qualities and himself. In this situation, love is guided by its previous chosen one and is not obliged to be faithful if there is no more love.
- Women are the inventors of relationships and must bring something new, create fairy tales and exciting adventures. There is no need to leave one of the main components of a strong connection — family life, especially sexual life — to routine. According to psychologists, in 95% of cases the cause of infidelity is male dissatisfaction. Therefore, men are looking for adventures on the side, with someone who can fulfill their sexual fantasies. The same psychologist compares this behavior of men with the attitude towards new technologies. For example, if you just bought a computer, here it is at home, brand new, but without half of the programs you need. However, his neighbor on the floor also has a computer. This is a slightly older device, but has the necessary feature set. Where is the person going? To the “neighbor” who works on the computer, of course. If a man has established a relationship with his wife, he should not run to his mistress. In fact, women who live with a man for a long time should be wary of alternative methods of sex. After all, most of them are engaged, and so far none of them have suffered from the fatal condition.
At the same time, no matter how gentle, sensual and courteous men may be towards women, they should not take it for granted. You need to give a man compliments, especially if he deserves them. Even if he does something small around the house, a sign of appreciation is still needed.
This attitude towards him from the woman he loves increases his self-esteem and importance in the family. Constant praise encourages him to exploit him further, because men are in some ways useless, not least because many have this trait.
Is it worth forgiving?
Women can easily speculate about their husband”s infidelity based on what he tells his friends, girlfriends or acquaintances. In this case, you should not make hasty decisions. In addition, the spouse’s public place of residence or place of work should not become a testing ground for family conflicts. Psychologists recommend finding time to calm down and move on to a detailed conversation.
Cheating is an opportunity for both partners to think about whether everything is good in the relationship, reset the external environment and move directly to dialogue and discussion of problems. Perhaps at some point a mistake was made that turned into an unpleasant incident. Such difficult events can provide an opportunity to strengthen relationships. This can help both partners develop new views and principles, admit mistakes and discuss ways to prevent them in the future.
There are many different situations and factors that can influence infidelity, and they need to be dealt with in different ways. For example, if betrayal occurred once and a man does not associate his beloved with a permanent partner, he does not experience any moral or physical attraction to her. In this case, the man can be seen as a hostage to the situation. The stars “aligned” and something happened.
By the way, the reasons for betrayal are very diverse — from momentary animal attraction to long corporate parties, where the man didn’t even think about going to the left, every woman in an alcoholic couple looks a little cleaner. Most complexes disappear in men under drugs.
The road is not only forgiveness on the part of the victim, but also accepting mistakes with the heart and preventing this in the future. Even in small things, a faithful and loving man will care about his partner’s feelings. A woman may not even be aware of her partner”s passing hobbies or intrigues, especially if she is not the cause of what happened, but a man with actions and behavior similar to introspection will pay more attention to his wife.
Faithful men always knew how to love, always knew how to love. They are truly ready to do anything for their lover and do not want to hurt her. Therefore, women should try to pay him in the same coin to protect their treasures. After all, as they say, “what we didn’t save, we lost—we cry.”
But it’s worth learning more about why people cheat using the links in our article.
