Reasons for Marriage Destruction: 5 Mistakes of a Model Family
We”ve all seen the situation when a wonderful, thriving family suddenly falls apart. Everyone is shocked, the parents are crying, and the couple themselves are perplexed and can”t explain anything. It seems they didn”t live together, but divorced you! To make matters worse, you learn her husband has an affair. The way he trades his ideal wife for another wife is a path he can”t comprehend. Meanwhile, everything was leading up to this. What mistakes did the couple make, and why did the marriage fall apart?
Contents of the article:
Children — the Cause of Discord
The number one cause of family discord is children. The cult of children, instilled everywhere, has gradually obscured human consciousness with diapers, pureed foods, private medicine, developmental schools, and other trappings of a happy childhood. Terms like “yazit” and “et—sister” have emerged. What happens to such families? The woman completely absorbs her children and subordinates her life to the little king. The spouses are relegated to the background. Moreover, this is done brilliantly. The father participates in raising the offspring, but at the same time, he is part of the family. The best job is a child, the last glass of juice is a child, extra money is a child. What new tricks are these! Every child. And somewhere in the workplace, a woman appears who slipped a delicious sandwich at the right time, acted dishonestly, and regretted it. And especially at the right time, men love us.
The Marital Bed
Modern psychologists unanimously assert that spending time together has long been outdated for happy marriages. In a sense, they”re right. When someone snores, love doesn”t compensate for insomnia. Some people can”t sleep, they”re building a nest, some are kicking, some are too hot, some are carefully covering themselves with blankets. And I really don”t want to waste my precious dreams. So, if at some point you want to sleep separately, that”s fine. This is great for those who work shifts, and even better for those who work in different teams. Their right to a good night”s sleep is fully realized. However, there is one peculiarity that cannot be justified. That is sleeping in a kindergarten.
And then there are the children again. Perhaps it”s not them, but the mother who thinks this is nonsense. Studies have shown that 70% of men sleep separately because their wives prefer to spend the night in the nursery. This is nonsense! Why can”t you have children and not sleep with your husband, who is a very good man and a very good woman? You walk into another room, looking around lazily? Well, you can put a crib in your bedroom. Men aren”t like women. They”ll soon warm up in any bed. And you can”t blame them for the simple reason that they must endure cold and indifference, any fear of playing second fiddle?
Read also: Problems of civil marriage in modern times. The illusion of family civil unions are relationships legalized through the civil registry office. Today, civil marriage is mistakenly called simple cohabitation. For various reasons, people.
On the Same Wavelength
Reading modern psychologists who unanimously claim that couples” interests can differ, one is simply amazed. Well, yes, it”s perfectly logical that a wife loves her husband for dancing and hockey. And while one leg is up, he”s swinging the other stick or puffing to the rhythm of the game. No problem. But people take it literally. Different interests lead to disagreements, and different social circles can easily “throw a spanner in the works” by introducing like-minded individuals who would never play the role of saints. Therefore, interests should be similar. What if your spouse loves backpacking? Could you completely trust them and give them up? It”s possible and even necessary. But there are risks: campfires, nights out, guitars. A ban? Then a simple hatred is suggested. Slide both ends of the spectrum. After all, it”s better to ride the same wave.
What to do if one spouse files for divorce?
Heterogeneous Friendship
Maybe. But only in childhood, youth and old age. As George Bernard Shaw said, “Friendship between a man and a woman is the relationship of a former or future lover.” And you can”t help but agree with this. It’s better not to take risks; it could cost the family more. By the way, being friends with family is a completely acceptable option, and many people do so. However, there are some nuances here. Every time a female colleague asks her husband to help her with her work, or a classmate, childhood friend, or someone else calls and becomes hysterical, she risks not only getting the status of a hysterical woman, but also provoking a bully. The same applies to men. There is nothing fatal about a spouse communicating with another man. Therefore, trust has always been a priority. The alarm should only be raised if friends often spend time together, which is much more fun and interesting than family.
Vacation
This is the most salutary provision of the family structure. Most families have very busy work schedules, and employers do not really listen to the wishes of their employees. Therefore, it is very difficult to coordinate a joint vacation. If one of you is working, and the other has taken an important vacation for a month, then it is not only stupid, but also cruel to prevent him from traveling anywhere. You have to trust your person; you must trust him or her. However, if your holidays overlap, you need to spend this time together. Whatever psychologists say about separate trips, we are talking about common interests, conversations from the same opera and other similar things.
Modernity is modernity, but family institutions and rules of relationships have developed since time immemorial. And they are the key to long-term relationships. But self-interest, carefully cultivated by most of the new luminaries of psychology, can destroy even the strongest families.
The Logic of a Narcissist
