Secrets of the psychology of relationships and love between a man and a woman
The psychology of love and relationships consists of unjustified expectations and claims towards each other. When a person is in love, he does not notice his shortcomings; on the contrary, he seems sweet and pleasant. Only a loved one seems worthy of attention, everything about him is good, we simply don’t notice others, they don’t exist, they separated and disappeared, there is only him and her.
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To be close and together, to participate in all matters, to help, to facilitate, to worry about every action or inaction to the point of pain or madness, is the only goal in life. Seeing and hearing voices rather than working in the background is the true joy and meaning of existence. The center of the universe has shifted to the Beloved. Juliet is the sun, says Romeo.
Ideal relationship
Those who experience such love are lucky. The psychology of love and relationships is worth studying for a deeper understanding and prevention of mistakes. You can develop friendships and alternate them with many people until the climax.
But they can only love one. They cannot love two people because it is a kind of obsession. Focusing on one person is the crux of a romantic relationship.
Every little thing associated with the person of adoration — a letter, a tangled comb, a walk in the park, a suddenly blossoming bud, cooking dinner together — is elevated to rank. The flaws of a loved one may also seem unique and cute, but to a healthy mind they are not noticeable.
Pink curtains appear in front of you — “rose-colored glasses”. They say love is blind. Yes, consciousness refuses to perceive the shortcomings and vices of the object of passion and does not stimulate them.
Ice and fire are compatible
During a passionate relationship, an unusual surge of energy occurs; there is so much of it that you don’t want to eat or sleep. Young people claim that just the thought of her makes them jump in heaven, and their hearts beat faster when they hear the voice of their beloved.
Mood swings happen instantly and depend on how much or little attention you give to yourself. From joy to overwhelming anger. Author Henri Frederic Amiel said that “the more a man loves, the more he suffers.”
Adversity and obstacles only increase passion. After all, it is only natural that the forbidden fruit is sweet, so they try to pluck it and sweep away all barriers. Oddly enough, even quarrels and temporary breaks serve as an incentive. The desire for sexual contact becomes stronger, and the relationship reaches its zenith. At the same time, both partners want one of them to remain faithful. 95% of respondents agreed with this.
However, loyalty can lead to jealousy, which Shakespeare called the “green-eyed monster.” They have real passion and love — this is their fuel and nourishment. Love and jealousy are real invaders of consciousness, unable to think about anything else and literally captured for a while.
George Washington, one of the most balanced men of our time, warned his granddaughter about love in one of his letters. 80% of respondents said that love is not a conscious choice.
Love is not a bird, you can”t catch it, you can”t lock it up
At the same time, the love that was born suddenly died. It passes and cannot be restored. Habit, respect and a comfortable communal life can take its place. But this is not true. It might flare up again. There is no reliability, no certainty that this will last forever. Everything goes on and on. This is a phrase that describes all life transitions. You need to take care of your partner and enjoy a peaceful life together.
You can diversify with trips, trips to see friends and on vacation. Attract external impressions. Hobbies and interests provide opportunities for shared creativity. Of course, not everyone succeeds in this, people do not understand what is happening to them and cannot control the situation, but animal passions take over.
Read also: A man is a womanizer — the psychology of relationships. Can he change?
These men are always cheerful and attractive. They are sociable, sociable and almost always have good manners. They devote most of their time.
Over time, love fades and problems creep in from all sides. Whoever said that love is happiness is absolutely wrong. This spontaneous feeling brings euphoria and intense suffering. It is a disease of soul and body, endless obsession and madness for others.
If we trace love stories through great works of literature, we will understand that strong passion often leads to the death of the beloved. Romeo and Juliet, Othello and Desdemona, Paris and Helen — none of them experienced a change of passion. Unfortunately, there are also many examples of tragic endings in real life.
However, there is some good news in this whirlwind. Such madness does not only last for a relatively short period of time — from six to 18 months. In addition, the scales fall from their eyes, and an equally difficult period begins in the life of the couple. Complaints about their partners were highlighted: they brought the wrong yogurt from the store, did not wipe their feet on the threshold, or gave flowers, but not so many. The list of complaints can accumulate over a long period of time until it becomes a scandal.
How can you survive and build a foundation together that will last for years to come, rather than ending your love relationship forever? There is no need to distance yourself from the problem. It is advisable to find out the reason for the dissatisfaction and understand how important it is for both of you. Did your life end because the kefir was the wrong brand?
Tomorrow will be a new day and new kefir. Determine the importance of the issue and address it according to its criticality. If the irritating element does not affect the five basic human needs, there is no need to be upset.
If kefir turns out to be of poor quality:
- Does this threaten my life?
- Or people close to me, my sisters, brothers, mother, my children?
- Will I lose the roof over my head (house, apartment) because of this?
- Will I lose my job because of this (but this can be changed)?
- Will I lose all my money before the end of the day?
The following five points determine the possibilities and comfort of your future life. Everything else is trifles. Be generous and give your people room to make small mistakes. There is no need to change someone”s character, adapt, try to understand, forgive or accept.
Nobody can do anything bad to you. The bad parts are the five listed, there are no other bad parts, and you can experience them all. Of course, if there is a threat to your life, you need to urgently act and change everything.
Secondly, if your spouse likes to argue, you will find that this is his defensive reaction and that he is agitated because he cannot speak clearly enough to be understood.
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His bouts of disappointment will help reveal the invisible reasons behind your relationship. You just have to listen and see.
Better the bitter truth than the sweet lie
Dissatisfaction with ideal relationships arises from flaws in our character. We may be too selfish or want someone else to solve all our problems.
Many character errors remain with us as emotional baggage from our past.
In this way, we learn to compromise, give up high expectations and accept reality as it is.
The problem is with teachers who teach us to find some way out of situations.
It is worth remembering that the state of happiness is the most important thing in the world. We seek justice at any cost, and the other person must understand that this is wrong. This is wrong, let him remain with his opinion, and you with yours. The main thing is that you stay together, this is happiness for both of you. And the opinion can change at any moment.
We need to talk to each other more because we are both in the same boat and we both need to be able to talk to each other. You need to come to a common opinion and agreement; this is the only way you can find out the cause of the conflict.
You must speak quietly to be heard, and only speak up at critical moments.
Get to the heart of the matter, have your own point of view and defend it with the help of desires, beliefs, values and self-restraints.
Give me back the real me
Building your life correctly is not easy. Today is good. Tomorrow looks shameful and boring. You need new sensations and impressions. You are tired of monotony, tired of love, tired of life. At the same time, ask the Almighty to protect you from a series of loves and burning passions, and you will conquer the world around you in black and white without a single color.
You will not see or recognize your city, your region. Until recently, it shone, shone, shone with bright colors. Today it is a gray patina, covered in dirty dust and filled with gloomy people. It has become not just boring, but it gives the impression that you are dead, that for some reason you do not find yourself walking, searching, spontaneous.
The joy is gone, the color has faded, you don”t know where to put it or how to use it. No, love and boiling passion are better. With love to me! Read more about the psychology of family relationships and all stages in the following article, which describes in detail
