The differences between men and women are physiological and psychological.
Perhaps, if you haven”t read it, you”ve at least never heard of John Gray”s Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. Her view of the relationship between a man and a woman has its supporters and critics, but it seems that she left no one indifferent.
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The author of this book is a practicing psychologist and has helped many people save their marriages and improve relationships with the help of his theories. He did not limit himself to writing a book, giving lectures and conducting practical workshops to promote attitudes of respect for a person”s biological gender, commitments, attitudes and behavior.
His theory is based on the fact that men and women are very different people in many ways and have very different ideas about what an ideal relationship should look like and look like. Because of these differences and misunderstanding of each other”s motives, they often end relationships that could actually last happily for years.
Understanding and accepting a partner of the opposite sex, understanding his needs and learning to balance your behavior with them — this is the main task of the book “Men are from Mars, women are from Venus,” which the author accomplished brilliantly.
If there has been a break in your relationship, but your feelings are still alive, you urgently need to read about two species of aliens who somehow ended up on the same planet and are trying to learn to communicate with each other and build a common family.
Don”t reproach, loving
Mutual condemnation is a destructive path not only in love, but in all relationships. When people united by family ties begin to blame each other, they can greatly damage the relationship, but because of this, many relationships between parents and children have deteriorated significantly, but they have not ceased to be related. However, it is not true that blaming men and women can lead to a breakdown in relationships and leave at least one thread connecting them that will later help to fix everything.
On the one hand, blaming is an opportunity to express hurt and frustration about your pain or problems. On the other hand, the chances of hurting your partner are even higher than theirs. What to do?
The same idea can be expressed in different ways. This is akin to the famous saying “execute cannot be executed.” It all depends on where you place the comma, both literally and figuratively. The accusation has a huge number of topics, each of which can be rephrased, receiving constructive statements or polite requests, rather than accusations.
Angrily: “Where have you been? Can”t you call me?” Can be replaced by the following. I lost you / And I was so worried / Worried! Never scare me again!” Accusations are replaced by a conversation about his feelings and a polite request. The meaning remains the same.
Bored: “Your boyfriend/girlfriend is more valuable than me! Why are you dating someone again? Can be paraphrased in a humorous manner. I have something special planned!” And a new scandal could turn into an unforgettable night and great sex. Don”t forget to plan something really special. Candlelight dinners and hockey tickets are what you need.
And the most important thing: “My mother is a better cook!” Or: “You don’t love my mother at all!” Just change to another rail. “Mmm, how delicious!” Wow, even as a child I got used to the completely different tastes of this dish! You should try your mother.” Or: “You need to visit your mom, but if you’re tired, stay home, otherwise you won’t get fired.” I”ll bring you something tasty.” There are many alternatives, but forcing your partner to perform duties in which he is not completely dishonest leads to unnecessary confrontation.
Men and women are really different
No matter how much feminists fight this statement, going against nature is not healthy. We really have a lot of differences. They are associated not only with gender characteristics. We can start with the simplest things. Take blood tests regularly and look at their interpretation to see that the same indicators differ between different sexes. I wonder if at the given level of hemoglobin in the blood you can also claim shared values and connection? If yes, then no, no, and you would be treating healthy people.
What about hormones? They differ in their principle of action and have different effects on the body. There is absolutely no point in discussing this. You should be aware of this and take it into account.
In stressful situations, the hormone hydrocortisone is produced in the blood of every person. To stop its effect in the blood of a man, it is necessary to produce testosterone, and in a woman — oxytocin.
Testosterone production is directly linked to muscular work, or the type of competition, research, and other activities that affect self-confidence.
Read also: Why do men cheat on the women they love?
In modern society, the image of a man is closely linked to the concept of monogamy. This means he cannot remain faithful to one woman. Why?
- Sports, from chess to football and horizontal bars.
- Competitions, from watching football to cockroaches.
- Scientific and geographical research, exploration.
- Physical work, from hammering nails into walls to building houses.
Oxytocin production is linked to interaction with other things.
- Typically, they talk about their own and others” problems and successes—gossip, meet with friends.
- Hugs, kisses;
- Beauty salons, spas, hair salons—all of this is aimed, on the one hand, at oneself, and on the other, at visiting for the purpose of interacting with those who pay attention. Dates don”t necessarily have to be serious, but it”s important to attract attention and reconnect.
- Praise, compliments, signs of attention, and gifts from others.
- Cultural events, social gatherings, the opportunity to show off and see others.
- Shopping as a way to socialize and receive recognition and praise.
- Taking care of family and loved ones.
- This doesn”t mean women don”t enjoy going to the gym or socializing with men. Of course, they experience and relieve stress. Only the mechanism and nature of the event differ. And this isn”t about sexism, but biology—hormones.
The Chatterbox and the Listener
Talker and listener
There”s a biological basis for this process. While a man remains silent and listens, his testosterone is produced. This process requires incredible endurance and internal struggle. A woman is doomed, but she experiences oxytocin because she is satisfying many of her natural needs.
This joint therapy is equally beneficial for both sexes and has nothing to do with hormone production.
According to a study, a woman cannot express her statement for long. She has a great boyfriend, it”s not too late to tell him about it. The release of hormones caused by the correct placement of accents can lead to only one thing: dizzying sex.
The main thing that ensures this effect is the regularity of such events. Problems should not accumulate for more than 8 minutes. Otherwise, both partners may not have enough patience.
Vain expectations and fatal mistakes
Vain expectations and fatal mistakes
Don”t give men advice they don”t need. Thus, the woman shows concern and care, but in relation to the man, she considers him so stupid and incompetent that he cannot cope on his own. Remember: men are about competition and winning, not pious participation.
The best support for him is the words that he will definitely cope with any problem, find a solution, and that they believe in him. Do not go too far so that he does not perceive it as excessive attention or ridicule. Everything is good in moderation. If he needs advice, he will ask.
Often men make the mistake of not allowing a woman to express her problems, thinking that she needs a solution to her problems, because she explains everything in detail and is not at all interested in “women’s problems”. In fact, as mentioned above, his attention is important for women. She can cope with her problems on her own, especially since most problems are purely emotional. All that is required of her is to listen carefully and calmly.
A woman”s mood swings and emotions can make a man feel guilty. In fact, it”s all hormonal. She doesn”t need any objective reasons to be sad or laugh. She won”t have to deal with all the changes. It is enough to show that they love her and sometimes just leave her alone. Caring is always important for women, so giving compliments and doing pleasant little things will never be superfluous.
It is important for a woman to be able to open up and talk about the most intimate things, and often she expects the same from a man. And not only is he in no hurry to open up, but he can also be very susceptible to attempts to invade his inner space. He needs the opportunity to retire, and a smart woman will not interfere with him at such moments.
One of the most common misconceptions is that women are convinced that they can change a man, when in fact this is not the case. This misconception often leads to divorce. You should not associate your life with the life you are trying to change. This enterprise is doomed to failure. He can change only if he sees fit. And, like a true athlete, he does it without outside help. The role of a woman is to be sick and believe in his strength.
If a talkative woman remains silent in response to a man”s long monologue about her, this makes it difficult to accept the fact that he is not listening to her or thinking about himself. He thinks. Everything he hears, note how he uses this information and whether he uses it in his business.
Love is not acceptance and making demands on each other, but acceptance of a partner for who he is and giving of oneself without reserve.
So what is the power?
So what is the power?
You need to work on your relationship and not follow your first instincts. A common mistake is that people tend to act based on their own preferences, without taking into account the characteristics of members of the opposite sex. Before drawing conclusions from your partner”s behavior or words, you need to stop and think about what motivates him, and never forget about hormonal characteristics.
If you are mindful of your partner”s feelings and desires, give him the opportunity to be himself. The person himself will receive ample opportunities for self-realization, growth and self-expression. In this case, complete harmony and mutual understanding reign in personal relationships. Personal freedom does not mean the ability to perform any action, but the freedom to be oneself, without bearing responsibility for it, and to be accepted without change or pretense.
This is how the brains of men and women differ!
